How do you tell a woman you want her to lose weight without offendin her or soundin like a a** ?

Question

My wife is one of the most beautiful women that i have ever met and i love her to death. She had a baby nearly 30 months ago and still dawns a lil baby fat. Now shes really not out of shape but she like 10-15lbs over where SHE wants to be (tho you couldnt tell if you saw). Shes really sensitive and self conscious about it and i dont want to upset her nor do i want to seem like im displeased wit da way she look eitha. But i do want her to be happy and i believe dat if she loses da weight than she wont be as self concious about her body and overall more confident. Da truth be told, im content wit where she at but i can see dat she doesnt exactly feel as sexy as she really is,regardless of how much i tell her. She thinks im just sayin dat becus dats what i think she wanna hear. I do feel dat she wants me to actually come out and say "i want you to lose weight" but im not sure. Plus im scared sh*tless, for real, i ASSUME she wants me to say it, but dont want to hurt her. Any suggestions

Not to sound so contradictory: I personally do not feel dat she needs to lose weight , however, i can tell dat her weight is really botherin her and i just want her to be happy and if losin weight will make her content then dats what i want her to do.

Answer 1

I wouldn't ask her off the bat. Actually, don't ever mention the word "weight" around her, because like you said it yourself, it's something she's self-conscious about. No woman wants or needs to hear that she needs to lose any weight.
You should tell her how attracted and sexy she is - always tell her that.

Now, to come back to your question, you should simply ask her to go for a walk when you come back form work. You'll both enjoy and benefit from a regular walk together. She might not shade off the pounds quickly, but slowly but surely her body will get in a better shape.
During the weekends, suggest a longer walk around a lake, or going to the pool.

Keep being supportive!

Answer 2

1

Answer 3

It sounds like you do want to be sensitive... you get "points" for that. ;)

Do you have any pounds to lose? Why not set the example? Even if all you say is, "I'm getting older, and I want to be a little healthier. I'm going to go check out the gym, and I wanted to ask if you want to come along?"

See if there are classes she would take with you. Choose a gym that offers childcare (that's so important to a new mom!). Ask if she minds eating a little healthier to help you with YOUR goals. Doing things together as a couple only strengthens your marriage.

Take it from a wife... any doubt you express in her appearance, even if it based on comments she has made in the past, will HAUNT her, and she'll wonder if you are thinking it again YEARS from now. Trust me... I do! But if YOU will take the lead, and be a good encourager, honey... that woman will follow you to the ends of the earth.
:)

Answer 4

You dont.

Unless she is an emotionless android, she will be offended you said something, and feel discouraged and/or pressured. Even if you said something about it, and she felt compelled to do it, she still wouldnt feel right about it.

Heres a tip: Let HER bring it up, and when the time comes, dont lie and tell her how you really feel but make it not in the form of a request, demand, or any other type of pressure. That way it allows her to do it purely out of love and not some control mechanism. Just say it very plainly like you look BETTER X way. That way she still gets the feeling that shes loved. Women are very picky that way.

Answer 5

Good for you for loving her the way she is! What about trying to tell her that you would like to join a gym with her so you could get toned? Tell her you'd like to make your arms bigger, or whatever else. Try making it sound like 'you're the one with the 'body hangup'. She will be encourging (most gyms have a child center there!) and you two can support eachother! Or simply going to a walk after dinner or before breakfast-just walk around the block. Be creative!

Answer 6

Do you like outdoor activities or sports? Offer to go for a hike, play a tennis match or join a gym together. If you do things together, it won't be so obvious that it's all about her.

There are a lot activities that you can enjoy together, which would also help to get her a better shape.

Answer 7

Okay, I get ya.

Well, the best thing to do is suggest you go exercising together. Don't make it about her losing weight, make it about you two getting fit together.

Always make it clear that you love her the way she is, but you know she feels down about those last few pounds.Tell her you just want her to feel good about herself and you will help her in any way possible to do so.

Answer 8

Trust me on this one. There is nothing you can say that is not going to hurt her feelings on the weight issue. If it is only 10-15 pounds, that is no big deal and you know it. She would wear the same size as she is wearing now anyway. If you want to really have her dislike you, go ahead and tell her that she doesn't exactly feel as sexy as she did thinner. Don't say it ever!!!!

Answer 9

Well, if you look over what your intial question was, then what you explain in your details, you contradict yourself. You ask for advice on how to tell a woman to loose weight, but then say you don't think she really needs to loose any weight. you also claim that you want to tell her this b/c you think that's what she wants to hear you say. That really dosen't follow any logic. Of course she dosen't want you to tell her to loose weight, what she wants is to feel sexy and appreciated. Take her out and give her some romance.

Answer 10

you say your ok with her weight but your question is asking how do you tell a woman you want her to lose weight// dont sound like your ok with it. how about telling your you want to take up tennis.. or bike riding.. strolling the baby in the evening would be good .. the baby will get fresth air.. she will get exercise.. she will lose weight and the baby will sleep better at nite