For the people who have lost a parent.......... Do you still have days where you cry over them?

Question

I lost my dad 13 years ago (wow, it doesn't seem that long ago) and I still have days where I just break down and cry. I think about how much I miss him and the fact he can't be around to watch my kids grow or he won't be there to walk me down the isle. Does anyone else still have days like this?

Answer 1

I lost my dad in August 1993, 14 years ago. I get the saddest when I'm watching my 2 little kids run around and I realize that he never got to meet them. He would have loved them so much.

Answer 2

Hi there,

Sure. I lost my dad 18 years ago this month, and not often, but every now and then I think about him, or I "see" him in my son's face, and I think about him not seeing my boy grow up and how much he would have loved him, and how much I loved being with my dad, etc.

It is natural to miss someone deeply once in awhile. Nothing unhealthy there. But if it's a constant, then there's something else at work you need help to deal with.

A good cry now and then, even after so long, is not a bad thing. Let it all out, sweetie, then smile and get on with your life till the next time.

Take care.

Answer 3

My dad died 12 years ago and it was very sudden. We hadn't talked for 2 years before he died. He was an alcoholic and we had a very rocky relationship. He was only 48 when he died.

My oldest child was 5 then and now I have 2 more that he hasn't seen. I don't cry uncontrollably, but I do grieve, still. I always will. It was horrible timing and we were estranged and I always regret that. I tell myself..if I had only made ONE more effort to get in touch.

I never even go to his grave because it seems so strange that he is in the ground.

For me, because of the suddenness of his death and the fact that we weren't speaking, means I will always have moments where I feel sad and say, "What if???"

Answer 4

My mum has been gone since 1988, Waitangi Day in New Zealand, that's February 6th 1988. I was just about to turn thirteen that year, starting high school. It was a struggle to be bought up by your father, and have to rely on your aunties and friends for advice on everything from boys, your period, the first time you have sex, having the right partner, school kids and life changes. It sucks big time. I think of her everyday, visit her grave as often as I can, due to the fact I live some 150 kilometres away from my home town. But it does get better with time, we talk about her all the time. From things she used to say and do, to the funny things that people saw in her. I cry whenever I think of her. It's so much easier if you have family and friends to help you think of the good times with her, the funny times and even the sad ones. Hold in there. Again it does get easier with time.

Answer 5

Oh yeah...here is my story....
My dad died of cancer when I was only 3 years old. That was 17 years ago. I didnt know my dad but I do know that he loved me and cared for me a lot. I am his only daughter and he had a special nickname for me. Some days I will sit and think about my dad and just cry cuz I didnt have the chance to get to know him and I dont know if I ever called him daddy. One thing I do know is I love my dad and I know he loves me too. I get so mad sometimes when I sit and think about him cuz he wont be there to walk me down the aisle when I get married and I cry cuz I am a daddys girl and bc I wish I could take all the time back and save him and just get to know him and keep him here as long as I can.

Answer 6

Oh, yes, everyone has days like this. For most, there will always be those times when the pain of losing a loved one becomes overwhelming. When someone you love dies, there is no way to ever really get past it; realistically, you simply learn to live WITH it. But I wwill tell you this; your love for him is evident, and by keeping that connection you still have to him alive, you can extend that to your children. I lost my best friend to suicide three months age, and he was a highly accomplished guitarist and music professor at a university. He virtually developed the music department at one of the local colleges here as well. But I keep him alive by speaking of him when I need to, telling stories about him, so that students that will graduate from the college or university, will feel like they have a sense of who the man is that made it possible to graduate from their school with a musical degree . Keeping his memory alive is also cathardic, because it will help to feel less pain when remembering him, and more of the joy and love that made your father so very special to you. Hope this helps, Blessings....

Answer 7

I feel bad for you, sweetie. I lost my dad 11 years ago this Oct. I eloped. He never walked me down the isle either. Now if I want to renew my vows he's not around and neither is my grandpa. EVERYONE has days "like this" but we all get throught them somehow. You can email anytime. Take care.

Answer 8

My mom has been gone for 23 years and I still cry about it. Deeply. But not as often as I use to. Same with my dad although I admit losing my mom has been harder for me. I can only tell you that the crying and pain will soften but it doesn't ever seem to go away. I yearn for those missed events too. Remember the good times and it helps with the sadness. Good luck to you

Answer 9

my dad has been gone 6 years and it seems like such a long time seems when he passedon the entire family just died with him hes a great person and i know hes around watching us its just he has not come trhough and i am waiting i belive in that life after death and i know hes there but hes very quiet like he was in life. i miss him and i am sure 30 years from now i will still be worrying about him and how he is which i know hesf ine i miss him so much

Answer 10

wow i saw this question and it was almost like me asking it. I lost my mom and daD about 3 to 4 years ago. I didnt live with eiather of them but i was close to them and loved them more than anything. me and my mom were finally learning so much about eachother and i was so happy she was around then she died and i was devistated...... i cryed myself to sleep everynight. I still cry, esspecially when i see movies or anything that remind me of her. I know for a fact i will still shed a tear for her 40 years down the road. they were my parents and i miss them more than anything.... Its normal. I think crying helps a little also. We will alwAYs miss our loved ones. Dont worry your totally normal... Just remember they are looking down on you smiling at the life youve made for urself.