My girlfriend and I are dating for over 4 years. I am 25 and she is 23. I gotten my girlfriend pregnant. When she first told me and showed me the test, I got really scared. I ran off. This would be my 3rd month without being with my girlfriend (she is 3 and a half month pregnant). I know that she is feeling sad and depressed that I ran off on her. I realize something after being more than 2 months without her. I need to support her and our newborn kid. I've done the biggest mistake. I want her to take me back. I'm still very much in love with her. I think she told her friends and family that I ran off already. How am I suppose to get a good reputation with her friends and family again and gain my girlfriend's trust again? I am really glad that she isn't seeing anyone as of right now. I really want to be with my girlfriend again and support her. I know I won't run off on her ever again. I know she's the one for me.
2007-09-01 16:20:00 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
You should tell her exactly what you just wrote on here. Tell her how much you love her and explain that you were scared and being immature but that you realise you were wrong and now want to be there for her and promise not to ever do that again and promise to be the best father you can be and always be there. As long as you tell her how you really feel and she is ok with it then I wouldnt worry about what her friends and family think.... if you show them that you were wrong and prove that you will be there from now on then they will come around.
2007-09-01 16:26:46 · answer #1 · answered by sheena0501 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Last year I was 26 and pregnant. I told the father and I asked him what he wanted to do. He said what can we do. I said that we could keep the baby or have an abortion. He said he would like to have an abortion. After he left I called him and he didn't answer, I over-reacted. He said he didn't have his phone. We got on not so good speaking terms and he didn't call or come see me for 3 weeks. I'm telling you this to say that a woman can feel so very alone when you are not there at the right moment and the right moment is during her pregnancy. I know he couldn't be there always but if he could have at least picked up the phone and called me and made me feel that he cared, maybe I would have felt better. Now you are talking about 3 months. I'm only talking 3 weeks. But those three weeks seemed to have lasted a lifetime. If you feel that you are scared think of how afraid she may feel. No matter what you decide to do she will be the one left holding the baby. She knows that and that alone is freightening. No one should have to have and raise a child alone. Still, men and women do it every day!
Now as it relates to winning the favor of her family and friends. I must say just grow-up. You are about to be a father, so you have to grow-up. No one's opinion of you will matter as much as the opinion of the child you are about to have. What you do or don't do will surely shape this childs life. Make things right with the woman who is about to have your child. Everyone else and everything else will come around in time.
God Bless.
2007-09-01 23:33:56 · answer #2 · answered by little lamb 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You REALLY REALLY need to talk to her. Let her know, but how can she trust that you arent going to run off again, She realy needs to know that you are going to be there for her when she needs it most. If you ran off once what makes her so shure you arent going to do it again. She is pregnant and is in a very sensitive state. After 3 mos though you may never fully get the trust back. as for her family and friends, its more about her now isnt it? May be you could ask her to spend some time together and start back slow and work your way up. But you really should have done something sooner.
Good luck, hope all works out well
PS its good that you want to support her and your kid
2007-09-01 23:32:07 · answer #3 · answered by valleygirl_1986 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It does not matter what friends and family think at this point you just have to talk to her tell her how you feel what you were feeling at the time when you ran dude she was most likely feeling the same way as you were.
I would buy her a gift something that shows that you care about her and the unborn child. ie a book on baby names.
It will take time for her to trust you again but give her that time but always make sure that she knows how you are feeling even if you are scared out of your mind you have to be open with her.
Just remember that you are not the only one that is scared right now!!!
I hope that this helps you man good luck and congrats
2007-09-01 23:34:46 · answer #4 · answered by Mimi 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My now husband started off in that way with my family. All I can say is you apologize and apologize till you are blue in the face. Then you have to bust your butt to make it work if that is what you want. Don't go back if you are just going to get cold feet again because 2 times is crap. You better make sure you are in it for the long haul. I have been married for 7 1/2 years and we were even younger than you when we had our first. And now we have 3 kids and are living a great family life. Yes life is still hard at times but you must realize that a relationship can not live by love alone. Yes that is a nice phrase isn't it but what that guy didn't realize is that it takes even more work. You have to work on it every day. And realize that you have to rebuild that trust again which could take years. My husband would attest to that. Just make sure that you understand that that woman will never forget that you split so fast and you have to make sure that she is first... no she and the baby are first. Otherwise the trust will never come back. Good luck to you. I hope that this works out the way that you want it... and works out in the best interest of the baby that you girlfriend is carrying. God is good. He gives us gifts and we must recieve them with open arms and the trust that he gives us only what we can handle.
2007-09-01 23:30:46 · answer #5 · answered by Melissa L 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I suggest u better start acting like a man as of right now. im glad u at least know u made a mistake. Words wont probably mean nothing to her and her family right now. So take action. Show her that u care. Go to her doctor appointments with her make sure you be the first one there whenever she needs something. And dont only apologize to her but to her family too. Remember actions speak louder than words. congratulations on the baby and good luck!
2007-09-01 23:34:12 · answer #6 · answered by ♠♥His wifey♥♠ 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First off, I'm glad you're taking responsibility for your unborn child and for that I applaud you. Right now, your girlfriend needs you more than she ever has. My best advice is to not worry about how the others in her life will react, but instead focus on being the best parent you can be. Eventually they will see that you realize you made a mistake and you're sorry.
It probably will take a while to gain her trust back, but she will if you're truly in it for the long haul. I wish you all the luck in the world!
2007-09-01 23:27:12 · answer #7 · answered by Materhead 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hey there,
I would make a very public apology to your lady. Yes your pride and reputation will take a beating over this, probably have already, but by humbling yourself you may just show her that you have grown up and are ready for a family.
I agree that you must admit that you were/are scared. But so might she be. The only way you are going to know is by asking. Facing things and talking things through are the adult way of dealing with things.
Expect her to be angry and hurt. But stay calm and talk. Remember it will take time to regain your ladies trust.
I wish you all the best of luck in trying to save your family.
2007-09-02 03:07:15 · answer #8 · answered by stootsma 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you gotta stand up and be a man the most important ones are her father and her brothers make sure they know why you ran off you didn't intend to run off on her but you freaked out and it was immature but you want to take care of her and the baby. It doesn't matter what her friends think and most of the time if the father accepts that you are a stand up guy the rest of the family follows.
2007-09-01 23:35:21 · answer #9 · answered by kella l 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, you've damaged your reputation, but the best thing would be to go back to her and apologize. If you don't even show up during her pregnancy, basically you're a jerk. Go back and tell her you got scared. She'll probably forgive you. Help her and help take care of her and her baby. Her friends and family may never forgive you or accept you, but at least you tried to fix your mistake. Good luck!
2007-09-01 23:26:52 · answer #10 · answered by Candy 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋