My girlfriend and I are dating for over 4 years. I am 25 and she is 23. I gotten my girlfriend pregnant. When she first told me and showed me the test, I got really scared. I ran off. This would be my 3rd month without being with my girlfriend (she is 3 and a half month pregnant). I know that she is feeling sad and depressed that I ran off on her. I realize something after being more than 2 months without her. I need to support her and our newborn kid. I've done the biggest mistake. I want her to take me back. I'm still very much in love with her. I think she told her friends and family that I ran off already. How am I suppose to get a good reputation with her friends and family again and gain my girlfriend's trust again? I am really glad that she isn't seeing anyone as of right now. I really want to be with my girlfriend again and support her. I know I won't run off on her ever again. I know she's the one for me.
2007-09-01 16:19:23 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
well you need to earn back her trust and to do that you have to be a man of your word and so what you say you will and dont make promises that you may not be able to keep...prove to her over time that you will be there and show her how you feel....even if you 2 dont end up back together right away you can still be apart of your childs life...
2007-09-01 16:27:47 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all I have to say this even though you already know it then I'll give my advice.
How dare you abandon her in her time of need f*r! I get that you were "afraid" but it's not like she'd be able to run off quite the same way! This is the exact type of behavior that makes me sick! "Isn't seeing anyone right now," well no sh** she's pregnant. That would be kinda awkward if she was.
(Deep breath)...Ok, first of all to win her over is one thing to win everyone else is another. First you have to prove yourself to the mother of your child. I'd make a point to get in contact with her, explaining EVERYTHING of WHY you left & how wrong you were & that it's still no excuse. Tell her you want to re-earn her trust (as it's obvious you've hurt her & know it's going to be an arduous undertaking but you are desperate to have her back & will do anything). F* if that doesn't work tell her your intention directly. If she's the girl for you & you are going to have a child on the way together & you really want to reinforce that you're not going anywhere....then marry her. You both have been together long enough & she's pregnant. I'm not normally an advocate for it, but it sounds like the next logical step to winning her & her kin/friends back is to propose.
2007-09-01 23:34:25 · answer #2 · answered by Smith 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is great news that you want to go back. Congratulations! You are going to be a father. Your girlfriend is going through a lot of emotions being pregnant.
Show her the note you posted and ask for forgiveness. The note will tell her everything she needs to know. She might act out and give a negative response. If she does...tell her you are very sorry and leave her alone for a few days and try again.
It will take her time to trust you but don't give up. As far as her friends and family...they will follow whatever your girlfriend does. Don't worry about the friends and family right now. They will understand in time. Actions speak louder than words...so show them! Do what you say and say what you truly mean.
When you speak with your girlfriend I suggest to do that alone. If someone else is there, tell your girlfiend that want to speak to her alone and you can come back another time.
Maybe it would be best to ask her to meet you.
Take flowers!
Good luck!
2007-09-01 23:45:13 · answer #3 · answered by smiley 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well dont feel too bad. I waited to have sex until marriage with my wife, but after 3 weeks she got pregnant and I was less than enthused to say the least!
What is missing here unfortunately is committment. Marriage was made by God for a purpose and it was to provide a foundation for the family. You guys rushed out and got the frame built, but there was no foundation. And what happened when a strong wind blew? It failed!
While I would certainly love to advocate a relationship with God first and formost, your Q dealt with your lady. So if you now want to do the right thing, you need to get back with her. You dont have to ask or beg, if she truly loved you and has decent character she wants you back. She just doesnt want a repeat of what happened in the future.
Let her know that your feelings for her havent changed and that your freaking out was not a rejection of her, but more of a stunned immature response. (that many guys have) And then you need to man up, and propose and get married. Anything less then that shatters the dreams of every girl and makes them feel vulnerable. Marriage is committment, and without committment, how can either of you take each other seriously deep down?
2007-09-02 00:47:56 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go to her and explain. Many men freak out at the idea of a baby. You are not the first. Go to her and both of you talk, long and respectfully, patiently. Do not get angry for baby will feel it! Once you have your relationship back, you can talk with others one at a time. Go to her as soon as you can. Go and talk. That is the only way. Real relationships are build on trust and communication, and so going and tlakingis continueing to build on something you already started. she is probably waiting for you anyway. Women know these thing about men and babies. Women also go in a bit of shock realizing the repsoncibilty of a baby ...it is HUGE!!!!
But babies bring in a deeper sense of love that you cannot expereince any where else.
Go and talk.
2007-09-01 23:29:17 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sit down with her, tell her your sorry and tell her what you just told us.
Bring her something for the baby or something to help her in the upcoming months because your going to be a busy man. Step it up and be sure you can support her in any way you can, job or jobs if needed. Be prepared to do whatever it takes to support and love your new family.
2007-09-02 00:02:10 · answer #6 · answered by nelppik 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go see her.....I am sure once you explain that you were scared she will take you back. Make sure you do nothing to destroy her trust again. You may have to jump through some hoops for a while and be prepared....when she gets further along and the hormonal thing kicks in, she will beat you up about running. Take the abuse, because you deserve it, and do your best to make her and your child happy. Best of luck to you and your new family.
2007-09-01 23:31:50 · answer #7 · answered by Lisa W 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think the biggest thing you can do is ask for forgivness,and make sure you explain you will always be there for her for now own. Let her know how sorry you are,and she means the world to you. And if she doesnt forgive you,then keep try.Atleast help her financially during her pregnancy.
2007-09-01 23:27:38 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well then....
Don´t tell us, TELL HER!!!
Marry her. Give her the security she needs to be a caring, loving and happy mother.
It is the loveliest thing that can happento you, to have a child and care for it, and the mother, and you all grow together.
Just face her and tell her you were scared, and you have realised the mistake you made, and apologise.
If you were both in love, all will be fine.
Good luck!
2007-09-01 23:32:39 · answer #9 · answered by tango bailado 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow,
First thing, Forgiveness. You should beg, BEG for forgiveness and explain what happened and why you ran.
Second thing, Devotion. You should start devoting yourself to her and your kid.
Third thing, Support. You should support her with whatever decision she makes about you and what role you'll play in their lives.
You shouldn't think about what the others will think of you because they're not in the equation, just you and her. AND if she says they do matter, then you only have to respect her decision on what role they play in her life not yours.
2007-09-01 23:33:32 · answer #10 · answered by for7949 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋