this is something i wrote to my boyfriend but i havent givin it to him yet
~~~sealed with a kiss
if you are mine
please answer this
do you love me or do you not
you've told me once but i forgot
so tell me now and tell me true
so i can say i am here for you
of all the guys i've ever met
your the one i won't forget
and if i die before you
ill go to heaven
and wait for you
now tell me true
is your love as great as mine is for you
2007-09-01 16:18:26 · 9 answers · asked by singlelivin91 2 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Poetry
Wow well-written poem. This depicts the story of how dedicated you are to your love, right? Yet there is this doubt or uncertainty dealing with this love that is brought out in the poem effectively.
Perhaps you can try to rhyme the last words of each sentence together to make it more effective. It should be able to leave a deeper impact then. Keep writing! :)
2007-09-01 19:37:53 · answer #1 · answered by UnspokenShadow 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's great that you're giving him a poem. He must be a pretty great guy.
That being said, it's a decent poem. It's probably not going to get published in a book of great poetry. But it gets the message across. I like the last line!
2007-09-01 23:23:50 · answer #2 · answered by x_beforethedawn_x 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's a good poem, but you don't always have to rhyme your words. I used to write poetry and in the beginning always rhymed my words. I had 1 poem published back in 1990 and it had very little rhyming in it.
2007-09-01 23:24:56 · answer #3 · answered by BabyDoll Mom 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds familiar...have I seen this poem somewhere before? Or maybe parts of it?
Line 8...you're not your
2007-09-02 00:36:45 · answer #4 · answered by DeborahDel 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
one word....BEAUTIFUL!!! I thought it was great. I like the best about 'and if I die before you, I'll go to heaven and wait for you.' Good example of undying love!
2007-09-01 23:23:02 · answer #5 · answered by Ashla 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't give it to him it's terrible. You're going scare him away. It's a smothering poem. Do you luvvvv me? I luvvv you moo-oore~ Bleck! Please destroy this poem. Look for a funny look in his eyes if you give it to him. I warned ya!
2007-09-01 23:28:55 · answer #6 · answered by ta 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its a nice poem.
2007-09-01 23:22:08 · answer #7 · answered by emesumau 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He told you once but you forgot huh? Apparently you didn't. I say scrap it but to each his own
2007-09-01 23:23:10 · answer #8 · answered by Bug Fuggy 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It sucks. Much too rhymey.
2007-09-01 23:25:31 · answer #9 · answered by Hoot 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋