Is it cheating or not?

Question

My husband is out of town on a business trip and I was invted to dinner by this guy at work so I decided to go since it was better then eating alone. Nothing happened we just went to dinner and that's it. I'll admit he bought me a rose at the restuarant and we danced. My sister in law saw us dancing and called my husband and told him I was cheating on him! I told him the truth and he said I shouldn't have went to dinner with the guy in the 1st place and hung up on me.I think he's completely out of line since i didn't cheat at all. Did I cheat and does he have a reason to be mad?

Answer 1

Please give me a brake what are you two years old.Better then eating alone,can't believe you even had the nerve to tell us that.This question can't be for real because no one is that stupid. Dancing with this guy was a very big misake because bodies touched.My husband and i have this agreement where as him or i will ever slow dance with someone of the oposite sex. You went there to be flirted with and you know you did.

Answer 2

You went on a date with another man, accepted a rose from him, and danced with him. If you saw your husband doing this with another woman, would you be upset? When your husband got back, would you have told him about dinner? The dancing? The rose?

If there was dancing and they were selling roses, it sounds like a kind of romantic restaurant. If you wanted to go out with a friend from work, you should have insisted on somewhere more neutral. You should have excused yourself from dinner when he gave you the rose, because he knows you're married and it's completely inappropriate for another man to give you a gift like that. Friends from work go to like Chili's for fajitas and a margarita - not to restaurants with dancing and roses.

I think your husband is completely right for being pissed at you. Cheating just isn't about sex, but from the sounds of it, it very well could have leaded to sex in the end. You liked the attention this other man gave you and that's why you went. You were testing the waters. You need to figure out what's missing in your relationship and then talk to your husband about fixing it or you really will cheat eventually.

You were wrong and owe your husband an apology and maybe some counseling.

Answer 3

What is cheating is something that should be discussed between the couple early in a relationship. What may be cheating to one may not to the other. The guy buying the rose was inappropriate on his part because he is not considered a family friend. Dancing with him was inappropriate on your part because you accepted the rose from him there by obligating yourself to possibilities. This is now romancing the beginning of a possible affair leading to cheating. Your sister in law sees you and calls her brother and reports this to him. Instead of you calling him and saying that so an so from work and I are going out to eat do you mind. So your husband isn't out of line here. He is however out of line by refusing to listen to you and hanging up. My wife and I both have friends of the opposite sex and we have discussed guidelines and each of us know who these people are. We don't have a problem if one or the other goes out dancing or dining etc. We do however tell each other whats going on either in person or call. There are things my wife likes to do that I can't and visa versa. Having sex or not isn't the only thing in cheating. I do hope that your husband will sit down and talk with you and understand that your intenions were only dinner which that in its self is not wrong I do this all the time, thing is my wife knows when I am. Communication at all times is important in any relationship as well as trust and honesty.

Answer 4

Well you went to dinner with a man, he bought you a flower and you were dancing together. Sounds like a date to me. If it was just dinner with a friend you would have told him before you were seen. Yes he has a reason to be upset, wouldn't you be if it was reversed? Did you cheat? Well you were caught doing something you should be doing with your husband, so what do you think? Knowing you were married why did the guy from work invite you out? To me if you are asking you must know that there is something wrong with this picture.

Answer 5

you weren't cheating, but i understand your husband.

it's normal to feel that way, at least you know he loves you and cares for you. you may have a point, but you should have first considered what he would feel. just a call would do. that way, he won't get surprised and all mad from your sister's call.

even though you didn't have (or did you?) feelings on the person you were with in that date, your husband does have a reason to be mad. that guy gave you a rose and danced. sure, he may be quite a gentleman, but what if his intentions were bad? your husband would be really worried. that's why he didn't want you to date him. sure, he hung up on you, which would feel out of the line for you, but think of it this way, what if your husband was in your position?

he dated a girl, they danced, the girl gave something to him (of course not a rose), would you feel okay with it? No, you will be infuriated.

just try giving your husband some time, and be sweet to him. don't be mad. if you really love each other, this will pass, and you two will be back to being tight as ever

Answer 6

Yes. It is. Both of you should have ground rules and expectations of each other. Are you secure in your marriage so he doesn't worry about you cheating and have guy friends? And would be ok if he went out with a girl on a dinner date in another city and then decide to dance and so forth? Does the wedding ring get any attention to this guy? Does he know that you are MARRIED? But, if you haven't talked about this you need to now. Thats how affairs start. A dinner, dance, hug, kiss, night cap and then maybe to bed?

Answer 7

There're two kinds of cheating, in my book. There's sexual cheating and emotional cheating. Did you sleep with the guy? Nope. Did you makeout with him? Nope.

But you can't deny there's something intrinsically romantic, something relationshipy about the evening you describe. You probably dressed up. You went dancing. He gave you a flower, for eff's sake. As a single person, I would never consider such an evening anything other than a date, even if I thought I was hanging out with a friend when I went into the evening. If I didn't feel romantically about the guy in that kind of situation, I would quickly let him know I wasn't interested. If

There's nothing to be gained by denying that you've damaged your husband's trust in you. Even if you don't consider yourself to be a "cheater," you do need to recognize that damaging that trust was wrong. And you need to own up to that. You need to apologize and mean it. And you need to have a frank discussion about what you both need from your relationship. Are you missing some of that romance from the earlier days of your marriage? What do each of you consider acceptable behavior with members of the opposite sex? Get counseling if you have to, because it sounds like you guys are in kind of a tricky place in your marriage just now.

Good luck.

Answer 8

I agree that it is not technically cheating, but I don't really think that is the issue here. Its more that you went out with another man when your husband was out of town, and didn't even tell him in advance. Is there a reason you didn't tell him before? I know that if I was him, I would feel very disrespected, and kinda cheated on, maybe not sexually, but emotionally. You really need to think about the shoe on the other foot. Cause I highly doubt that if you found out that while he was out of town, he went out with another woman, you would be just peachy about it. I think you should apologize if he will except it, and you should really never do that again. Honestly eating alone IS better than this!

Answer 9

Well, no it is not cheating, but the impression of a married woman with another man out on a innocent dinner date would not appear to be so innocent in the eyes of your man's family. (the rose, didn't make it any better).

If you would have told your husband and sister-in-law that you were going on a date with a male friend while your spouse was away, things may have turned out quite different and they would not have made such a big issue about it.

Not to make you feel bad or anything...but you just gave your husband the idea to do the same thing..and he is away on a business trip too..make sure he will not try to get revenge thinking that you cheated..

Answer 10

You realy need to evaluate why you thought it to be a good idea to go to dinner with a man while your husband was away. Obvisouly there must be something going on in your relationship if everyone has gotten all freaky about it.

There are serveral ways to cheat, one of which is emotional. Maybe you should take a hard look at why you did this, as I suspect you knew he would not like it. Maybe there is a void in your relationship that he should be filling.

Buying you a rose and then dancing with him, well, that sends me a signal that something is missing. It is up to you and your husband to figure out what that might be, and then fix it.

Good luck!