i am 19 and i somewhat shy around certain people i don't know. it's not around everybody though. it's mostly around people who i feel are in a higher league than me socially. people who are more likely to judge me. i am not really shy with people who are not high up socially. i am also very shy around girls. i don't think i used to be this shy. i think it developed as i got into middle school. i used to get picked on a lot in those days.
some people say that shyness stays with your forever and that i can't change and others say there are ways to change. which is the truth? am i going to be like this forever or are there ways to change?
2007-09-01 15:15:15 · 8 answers · asked by ? 2 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
It will not stay with you forever. Instead, you will develop some pretty admirable qualities since you know what it feels like to be considered and treated as the under dog. People who have the tendency to make others feel bad will likely be the people who will never change. That type of person has some serious self esteem issues and often carry it with them into adulthood. However, you will conquer shyness gradually as you enter more professional environments such as continued education or a work force of people who share a common goal. I did.
2007-09-01 15:33:30 · answer #1 · answered by skycat 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm living proof that shyness does not stay forever. For me it was college that broke me out of it. The college atmosphere and people are SO different from everyday life. The people are intelligent and they are in a school because they want to be not because they have to be so it puts off wonderful vibes.
I was extremely shy from age 4 to 20. I wouldn't talk to anyone and barely had friends because people would talk to me and I'd get too scared to say anything back. Anyway, middle school probably knocked you down a few pegs as far as your self esteem and confidence goes. So now you are not sure about yourself when it comes to girls or higher society. Don't worry about it.
Unfortunately, the only thing I can personally recommend is college but what worked for me may not be what works for you. I have always loved school but the other kids made it unbearable. You have to find an atmosphere that makes you feel whole about yourself and completes you. Where you don't feel judged at all. Perhaps join a certain club or team of some sort, what do you love? Find out if there is a program for it and go to it. Being with like-minded people will help your self confidence. Self confidence wipes out shyness. I hope you are able to find something.
2007-09-01 17:49:07 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it is your nature to be shy, then it will stay with you. Do not despair however. Even though you may feel that way always around others, it does not mean that you are condemned to behave that way. Behaviour is a choice. I know someone that was always shy from a young age and yet he overcame it by making a determination to interact with others in a social setting. No one would ever dream that he is shy.
Choose someone who seems to be on the outskirts of the gathering. You would be helping that shy person. And you have something in common, don't you? You don't have to be a big player to be a participant!
Barbara Walters wrote a book about How to Talk to Practically Anyone about Practically Anything. She too was a shy person, and yet she made a very successful living talking to people! Larry King also has a book about this subject.
So, yes, you can do it! Shyness is part of you, but not a life-sentence! Good luck!
2007-09-01 15:54:59 · answer #3 · answered by Goddess of Laundry 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
in case you do not be conscious of what to assert in the 2d purely ask for her quantity so which you would be able to communicate later (make an excuse like leaving or song is loud, she's too tremendously and don't prefer to assert something dumb could be candy and humorous). Rehearse it some circumstances in the replicate. I 'm a shy chick so i'm getting the fearful area yet dudes come as much as me so i don't be conscious of a thank you to inspire you plenty approximately that.maximum folk like assembly new people or they does not be out on the bar. assembly people someplace else could help. seek advice from customer help people etc just to get used to speaking to random people approximately random issues. connect communities that could desire to do along with your pastimes after which you will perhaps locate somebody and characteristic something to talk approximately for particular.there isn't any such project as out of your league, woman purely do not think of roughly it as leagues. We the two such as you or perchance such as you or do not. i think of maximum woman choose adult adult males on their very own advantages and not vs another dude. attempt to not enable random people's reactions impression what you think of of your self. Love your self. fee your self. take excitement in your self.
2016-10-17 10:50:40 · answer #4 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it wont stay with you forever..im real shy too only at certain times with certain people..mostly ones i dont know too well but i dont think shyness makes you who you are i think if you want to overcome it you can and you will.
2007-09-01 18:05:50 · answer #5 · answered by caami 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its just fine to be shy, in fact I am very shy but I meet one of my friends who always made a fool of herself and just laughed at herself. Then one day I decided to be more like that friend. So now I'm in middle school at a new school in a whole new state and I decided to just crazy self and I got lots of friends. so if you didn't get my advice its just to be yourself and about girls they want you to be yourself trust me I know I'm a girl. But just learn to laugh at yourself, I did.
2007-09-01 15:41:59 · answer #6 · answered by jordy11503 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People can change who they are ,, but people who do usualy turn themselves into someone who is'nt all that nice of a person, people don't like to be walked on ,, but people who get walked on deserve love people who don't let others walk on them , aren't all that nice to be around,, smart people outsmart nice people , nice people try not to do that ,,,
2007-09-01 15:43:58 · answer #7 · answered by darkcloud 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
read the book GOODBYE SHYNESS.
It will help alot.
2007-09-01 17:44:41 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋