my husband thinks its ok for him to stay out all night and come home at like 7 a.m. he tells me that he was at his friends house and they got drunk and he didnt want to drive. He doesnt think its a big deal becase theyre guy friends and he says "at least im not out cheating". i have given him like 5 chances and he did it again lastnight. i want to fly back home and tell him im taking my 7 month old daughter and were leaving you. im know i really dont want to stay gone but i want to teach him a lesson so he'll stop taking advantage of me. weve been together since we were in 8th grade and i dont want a divorce but i dont know how much more i can take.
2007-09-01 14:56:48 · 13 answers · asked by SamanthaF 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
sweetie as long as you allow this behavior he will keep doing what hes doing. whether he is out with his guy friends or what ever it may be, if he thinks he is getting away with it then it could eventually progress into something more like cheating. but my opinion he is cheating now... maybe not with a female but he is neglecting your needs to spend time with some one else and you deserve his time and his attention as his wife. Stick to your guns and tell him if things don't change you got to move on because not only do you deserve to be treated better but that baby does as well. good luck to ya! :)
2007-09-03 13:28:03 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know exactly how you feel. I am not married, but my boyfriend feels like it is okay for him to stay out all night, it hasnt gotten to the not coming home thing yet. The fact that you have talked to him about it, and he continues to do it shows how little respect he has for you and your relationship. I know this may sound childish, but give him a little taste of what he is doing. You have a 7month old, so I can just imagine the last time you did something for yourself or hung out with some of your friends. Find yourself a person you trust (friend, family, whoever you feel comfortable with), and have a girls night out. Besides you deserve it. I am not saying stay out until 7am, but just go out and have a good time, and let him see how it feels. Or maybe you should just leave for a week and go stay with family. You are going to have to show him that you are serious about how you feel and he cant keep running over you.
2007-09-01 22:10:45 · answer #2 · answered by biancabass83 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Better leave when he isn't home and don't tell him you are going, call him from your parents house. Tell him you are not putting up with his disrespect any longer. If he wants to try and make things work then he will have to go to marriage counseling with you. If he doesn't want to do that then shine him on. Don't call him or look for him. Give him no more attention until he decides to do the right thing.
2007-09-01 22:09:41 · answer #3 · answered by Sweet Suzy 777! 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A seperation may be a good idea, to prove to him that you are quite serious about this.
His first priorities should be taking care of you and your child, not getting so drunk he can't even drive.
Tell him if it does not change you are leaving, and he will need to get some help for his drinking problem/relationship issue before you will be able to return.
2007-09-01 22:10:56 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
So do it! You have told him how you feel, you have given him chances. Maybe leaving him and only agreeing to return if he stops the all nighters will work.
Just realize that he might decide to let you stay gone and be prepared for that.
2007-09-01 22:10:26 · answer #5 · answered by Melanie J 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
yes it is wronge...you need to ask him how he would feel if you did that to him..how do you really know where he is at? his friend is of course going to back his word..it is disrespectful too..he should atleast call you..if he really cared he wouldn't make you worry..i say you take the baby and go visit your parents for a while and let him wonder what you are doing..when the tables are turned he will sing a different tune...
2007-09-01 22:03:58 · answer #6 · answered by special1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girl! Rent a motel room and leave with your daughter. I guarantee he will be begging for your forgiveness and he won't do it for awhile.
The only thing is that he might start back up again.
Stay strong and follow your heart.
2007-09-01 22:22:42 · answer #7 · answered by moniquesexy75 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first off legaly you cannot take his child away,,,but i do understand what you mean by wanting to go away,,,try sitting down with someone and talking this through,,if he will not change then think about moving on if you do not like the situation...but keeo communication open with the baby and daddy..a very important role daddy plays!
2007-09-01 22:29:54 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sidney is right about this. He is totally disrepecting you when he does this. Another thing to think about; if he continues to do this when the kid(s) are older, he is teaching them that it is alright for guys to act like this and treat women like this.
2007-09-01 22:11:11 · answer #9 · answered by pete 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
look, my husband used to do this too. sit down with your husband. tell him hanging out with his friends isn't the problem. it's being out all night that bothers you. so..here's what you do....drive him to where he needs to go...let him get roaring drunk...then pick him up at an agreed upon time/or when he says he's ready to come home. don't whine about how drunk he is....just go get him. if he is so drunk you can't get him in the house....get a blanket and cover him up in the car and come back in a few hours to wake him up. don't want him suffocating in the car.
don't take off to fly home. especially if you have an intention of coming back . this will only leave him to believe you aren't serious.
since me and my husband have agreed upon this...i have stopped worrying. when he does drive himself....he doesn't drink heavily. and i respect him for that.
bring up the fact how he would like it if you went out bar hopping with girlfriends and didn't come home? my husband would file for divorce if i tried that even once.
2007-09-01 22:08:20 · answer #10 · answered by Isabella S 4 · 0⤊ 4⤋