Im 22 y/o just had a baby August 22 married but separated and most likely getting a divorce sooner than I thought. I left my husband about a month ago because he has a drinkinganger problem. After I left it seems like he got worse he would call in to work using me as an excuse even though I wasnt living w/him anymore he would tell his boss that I was in the hospital etc..He called in3days in a row and got suspended w/no pay. He almost got fired and somehow got a second chance, ever since I got out of the hospital he has not provided our baby with anything@all. My mom had to pay the remainder of the balance that the insurance didnt cover, bcause he didnt have$260. He has w-drawn$from our account like crazy, he gets pissed off when I ask him to give me an explanation about what has he spent the$he came over2my parents home to see our baby stayed 2hrs then left didnt bring any$for the baby and said he would come back2moro with4mula and diapers.Continued below....
2007-09-01 14:43:45 · 11 answers · asked by Juliet 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I know I have written a story, but now that all this has been happening Im afraid to get a divorce because I dont want him to have any rights over my baby, especially since he has both drinking and alcohol problems. I have a hospital paper from ER about a month ago he got drunk and crashed our car into a pole, could that paper be used against him? Its not that I want to take his rights away, but Im so terrified even thinking that if he does get certain rights he may get drunk with my little baby in the car, please tell me if he will end up with rights? He hasnt done a thing for his baby, does the court see that? Im so confused, stressed, and sad. This should be my happiest moments since I just delivered my baby girl a week ago...
2007-09-01 14:50:13 · update #1
You really need to contact an atty to talk with them about these issues, it sounds like you may be entitled to Legal aid, also contact your local department of children and family services for help.
The long and short is that yes, the issues with drinking and anger may come into play, and yes, he probably is entitled to visitation and perhaps joint custody... you have to build a case that says he shouldn't, but he may still end up with supervised visitation. Even in my case, my husband abused me in front of our daughter, yet he has the right to supervised visitation, though I have sole custody.
Children need both parents if a safe plan can be developed.
2007-09-01 14:54:39 · answer #1 · answered by Wildflower 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK did someone called the police and report this accident? if so your case is good, you can show the courts that he has tendencies of drinking and driving and that is a definate NO NO also you should call his job and report that the times he called in sick and use you as an excuse he was lying maybe he will loose his job and the courts will not giving him rights to the baby while unemployed.. you should contact the children protective center and have them help you so his visist with the child would have to be supervised, the key word for this people is CONCERN.. IF you tell them your concern about your baby's welfare when he is alone with her they will pay close attention right away tell them about his drinking.. fight hard he can't get custody of the baby for him to get custody he will have to prove your unfit and he can't but if you don't fight this now he will get unsupervised visits,this is a danger to your baby drinking and driving.. start working on this now.. is your baby's life on the line.. good luck.
2007-09-01 15:06:12 · answer #2 · answered by boricua_2290 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hello,, Juliet w/child, have you contacted the child services yet? You must not keep waiting around and thinking these things out for yourself !! It seems that you are not following anyones advice on this matter. Come on girl! you have to get support! your child needs it , and unless your parents are gladly accepting the financial responsibilities, you are not legally separated until the court says so.This is what you should do, contact your nearest child services and get their help NOW!! They can provide you with the answers you seek, and they can start getting you the supplies needed to keep this baby comfortable,your mom is a very good person,but she is not the person who should pay! Get your money out of any account that he has access to and use it for your child. Don't wait any longer ,you should have done this before the child was born, of course you wanted to believe he was going to change, but you must accept the things you cannot change.
2007-09-01 22:56:38 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
End this disaster before it gets worse. If there is money in an account you should be intitled to some of it too. Living with an alcohloic is a nightmare. Yes, I'd say the evidence of a wreck, while drinking is good proof, that he is not fit, to be resonsible for a childs care. End the marriage and do not let him pull you into his web. That is what drunks do. You have a child now. That is priority 1. He is out of there, keep him there.
2007-09-01 15:00:31 · answer #4 · answered by non o u biznis 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He won't get full custody of her but he will have visitation rights most likely unless you can show that he abuses her or puts her welfare in danger. It doesn't sound like he's the responsible type so maybe he won't want to take her on his own because he doesn't want the responsibility but he does have the right to see her unfortunately. Get the rest of the money out of your account and then get a divorce. You don't need to be with a guy like that and you certainly don't want your daughter to grow up with a guy with drinking and anger problems. He could very well turn physical and then you're really in a bad situation.
2007-09-01 22:10:36 · answer #5 · answered by abrennan01 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should go file for full custody right now! It's not about just you anymore...it's about the baby. Period. You should keep a daily journal of everything that happens inbetween you and the father. If he gives you money, tell him that you'll write him a reciept. Use that as your files. Yes, I would bring his drinking problems to the judges attention. Full custody gives you the power to make decisions for the child. He still has rights to see him/her. I have full custody of both of my children and it's fine so far. oh and don't forget to file for child support, ask for the child support and custody hearing to be on the same day if possible. You should get a lawyer but don't be afraid to shop around. Good luck to you. It sounds like you made a good choice by leaving your husband...for the sake of you and your child.
2007-09-01 17:19:08 · answer #6 · answered by Random 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"He has w-drawn$from our account like crazy," Why didn't YOU get a legal separation then? If you did he wouldn't be able to withdraw as much from your account...the accounts would be "frozen" and any thing he withdrew would have to come out of his share of the marital assets when the divorce came around.
As for visitation of your child...he has the right to court ordered visitation and the court will determine how often. You do not have the right to keep him from having visitation whether he has done anything for you or the baby or not.
2007-09-01 15:52:13 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
File for divorce. Get a lawyer with help from your family, womans orginization or a legal aid society.
There is nothing you can do about him having certain rights, but you can request drug and alcohol testing, supervised visitation, mandatory AA and so on. You will also receive child support and not be legally attached to an abusive drunk.
Chances are, he will not want to see or provide for the baby. If thats the case, you can legally terminate his rights in a year or two depending on state law.
I know it sounds harsh, but you need to do what you have to do to protect your child!
2007-09-01 14:58:20 · answer #8 · answered by Melanie J 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When you talk to your lawyer, tell him everything about your husband. If he gets visitation at all you want it to be supervised. You have the obligation to protect your child. The court will help you.
I also highly suggest you call Alcoholics Anonymous and ask them to direct you to the nearest Ala-non meeting. It is free
and they can help you for sure.
If you don't go to Ala-non you will just fall in with another alcoholic again. So get yourself some help.
2007-09-01 15:01:53 · answer #9 · answered by Sweet Suzy 777! 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
keep all his actions documeted with dates and times. empty all the money out of the bank account and put it in your moms name for now. if you need to you can get recorders from his work on how he doesnt come in. your moms recorders on her paying the bill and the hospital record can be used with a lawyer having rights to get it. if he calls write it down, if he comes over write it down and what he promises and doesnt do. showing that hes not responsable is your best bet. then seek to get full custody with him having supervised visitations only. good luck.......
2007-09-01 15:05:01 · answer #10 · answered by marilynfsmgm 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋