My son is 17 and an only child. He is a good, sweet kid but doesn't get the best grades(C average). My husband (a straight A student ) doesn't understand my son. My husband never wanted to have children yet he got involved with me and he knew I had a teenager. It is as if he doesn't like it when I spend money on my son, I have to argue for items that he needs. My son would like to join the High School Ski Team and my husband is worried about the cost. We are a two income household and we can afford it. My husband is never mean or abusive to my son- he just avoids him altogether. I feel like I am caught in the middle.
2007-09-01 14:32:27 · 13 answers · asked by Wanderlust 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You should tell your husband that your son is your son, i mean what kind of loving husband would he be if he didnt love you both?
2007-09-01 15:43:39 · answer #1 · answered by annie 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's time to sit down and discuss this issue with your husband. This is one of those things that he knew what he was getting into when you guys married =), but there's really no reason for you to defend why you spend money on your son, and I'm curious of how he views your son, does he treat him like his own? Or does he treat him like "oh you're here" kind of thing? Also, if money isn't an issue, which it sounds like it might be and he doesn't want to fess up to that, it sounds like he could be a tight wad..and some people are like that, but there would be reasons why. When you guys sit down and talk and you don't get anywhere, wait awhile and bring it up again if need be. When you do, be more firm about it. He may not be aware of his behavior, but if things don't improve, I would suggest eitherh counseling or something similar, you know? Good luck!
2007-09-01 14:39:34 · answer #2 · answered by suzlaa1971 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you MUST let your son join the ski team, mom. will he be a senior? start this very day to put all the money away he needs and present the fact that he will be doing this as part of his high school activities. stand up happily and act 'as if' of course it is alright just proceed, your husband may not even notice if he ignores him that much! haha
mom, your sons high school years will form his friendships and attitudes for all his life, you say he is a good kid, and has average grades, this is COMPLETELY NORMAL for a boy his age. do not penalize him for being average, most boys this day and age are, it is normal and that is why more girls than boys are accepted into top schools, it is because boys brains dont fully mature until age 26.
mom, you have only one chance to provide your son with the high school experience he wants, skiing is expensive, but you will have the rest of your life to look back with great satisfction that you did this for him. my son played high school football for an all boys school. my husband and i were team parents. i often joke we could have bought a condo in hawaii with the time effort and money we spent on our son in those years. he was an average kid and it bothered me too, as an A student, but i had to see t he bigger picture, penalizing him for being who he is would ruin his high school years. i see that clearly now. he is 24, has a milllion friends, self confidence from being in all that activity, and this average kid completed college and now is on his way to becoming very successful in his chosen profession. if i had not let him play football because i was trying to make him an A student, or, was not interested in the sacrifice, i see clearly now it would have turned him into a completely different person. your instincts are right on, mom, and from your question this husband knew you had a teen, this means he did not raise your son, so, really, i urgently urge you to do the best you can to do everything to enrich your son you possiibly can, after high school you really cant anymore, this may be your last chance. how in the world can you be int he middle? thank god you have a good kid, tell your husband you and he are going to celebrate that every day, and that skiing is part of the celebration. you will not regret this. but you will always regret some guy pushing you around and causing you to miss this chance to help your son grow up to be a well rounded, wonderful young man.
2007-09-01 15:12:37 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
OHH girl listen to me... before this man came along it was you and your son, he knew you had a son and he got involved with you, now just because he is your husband doesn't mean that you should denied anything that you know you can afford to give your son, I don't think he is jealous of your son , he just doesn't care about his needs just because he didn't want any kids, and he doesn't have any but don't you forget you DO and he was there before your husband you do what ever you want with your money, I would not even count on him for things that concern to your son because he is not concern about him.. your should not feel like you in the middle don't forget that your kid is first first and first, there is not middle or end, soon your son would be an adult and things should be better between your husband and you, but if I were you bottom line I would tell him this is my son and I have the right to do for him what ever I want... excuse me for saying this but your husband sounds like an assholee!! stick with your son good luck.
2007-09-01 14:53:59 · answer #4 · answered by boricua_2290 5 · 3⤊ 1⤋
That is your son. Your husband can leave tomorrow but your son will still be there. Never never choose a man over you child. They are a dime a dozen. He probably thought after you and him got married you would push your son aside . FOR HIM? NOT. Why did u marry him if you knew he did not like kids?thats one of my biggest questions here. I think your hubby thought you chose him over your son because you knew he was not fond of kids and you married him anyway. Now he knows you are for your son he is going to make things difficult for you son and make him feel he is not welcome in his own home. You should of thought about it a little more before you said I Do. They both are not happy in there own Home because of your decision. I not saying your husband is right but you had the last say to avoid all this.
2017-01-07 11:27:31 · answer #5 · answered by cathy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Gasp! Woah, this isn't right at all!
Why haven't you nipped this in the butt when it first started?
Your husband is being extremely childish and selfish! You need to set him straight and start wearing the pants in the family. That's your son. Stick up for him.
2007-09-01 14:41:14 · answer #6 · answered by Ember,La Wolfine Hybrid 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Hoping over to Canada to refresh 90 day visa waver?
2016-11-28 06:59:05 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
False Roethlisberger stat last night?
2017-02-24 21:56:46 · answer #8 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
THE BOY IN THE STRIPPED PAJAMAS?
2017-02-18 05:47:50 · answer #9 · answered by Beverly 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you consider online friends 'real' friends ?
2017-02-02 23:41:14 · answer #10 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋