Im not happy with who i am...?

Question

I want to be happy with my self but i dont feel like i will ever get there. There are multiple reasons why im unhappy but i think the main reason is my academic success has never been where i would like it to be.When I was younger i was always put into the "slow learners group" the group of kids who needed help reading and that has stuck with me all the way here. Even on the tests I took when i was in elementary i always scored below average. In highschool i was again put into some different classes than my friends, putting me a year behind. I dont feel like i will ever be able to achieve what people around me are achieving. i am in college but taking classes that arent taking me anywhere. Im not happy with my body, my looks, I dont go out with friends any more......i am at an all time low how can i pick myself up, thank you for reading this. Please no nasty comments im not in the mood for it just dont reply. But if you have any word of incouragement please do comment.

Answer 1

ALTHOUGH it is often classed as 'mental illness', clinical depression often has as many physical symptoms as mental. The feelings or emotions that are depression symptoms actually begin to cause the physical effects. How this happens is a vital part of understanding depression and the symptoms that come with it.

If you are depressed at the moment some of the following symptoms may sound familiar:


You feel miserable and sad.
You feel exhausted a lot of the time with no energy .
You feel as if even the smallest tasks are sometimes impossible.
You seldom enjoy the things that you used to enjoy-you may be off sex or food or may 'comfort eat' to excess.
You feel very anxious sometimes.

You don't want to see people or are scared to be left alone. Social activity may feel hard or impossible.

You find it difficult to think clearly.

You feel like a failure and/or feel guilty a lot of the time.

You feel a burden to others.

You sometimes feel that life isn't worth living.

You can see no future. There is a loss of hope. You feel all you've ever done is make mistakes and that's all that you ever will do.
You feel irritable or angry more than usual.

You feel you have no confidence.

You spend a lot of time thinking about what has gone wrong, what will go wrong or what is wrong about yourself as a person. You may also feel guilty sometimes about being critical of others (or even thinking critically about them).
You feel that life is unfair.

You have difficulty sleeping or wake up very early in the morning and can't sleep again. You seem to dream all night long and sometimes have disturbing dreams.

You feel that life has/is 'passing you by.'

You may have physical aches and pains which appear to have no physical cause, such as back pain.

It's this wealth of depression symptoms, and the broad scope that confuses many people as to what depression actually is. Explanations rarely cover all the symptoms, and everybody's experience is different.

Answer 2

Hang in there. I think most people go through insecure times
before they get comfortable in their own skin. You're doing
great. If it takes you extra years to finish college, congratulate
yourself for your acheivements. Don't compare yourself to
other people. My boyfriend is dyslexic and can't spell- but he's
successful and loveable. He's 44 and has a healthy sense of
self.

Get active. Take walks. Read fun book that interest you (from
The Tao to Romance Novels) Take up a new hobby- could be
jewelery making or tennis.

Stop beating yourself up about what happened in elementary
school. If you are having a hard time letting go- see a counselor or therapist. Everyone needs a little help now and
then. I wouldn't recommend anti-depressants- but maybe your
therapist would. Just make sure they won't pack the pounds
on you. I took anti-depressants for a while and I still am
fighting with my weight. Now, that's depressing. Consider
yourself lucky.

Just remember- you really are lucky. There are a lot of
people in the world who have no opportunities/money/
food/shelter. Look at your glass as half full and not half
empty and I reiterate-don't compare yourself to others who
seem to have it all. They don't.

Good luck to you.

Answer 3

I can relate to the classes in school. I figured out that I was just a horrible test taker and had no confidence in my intellectual abilities after years of being told I didn't do well on tests. I felt stupid and then every time I would have to take a placement test there was so much pressure on me, internally, that I froze and did terribly. I know that I'm not dumb though, despite being made to feel as though I wasn't up to par. Just as I can tell from reading your post that you're far from unintelligent. But it's understandable how your confidence would be shaken after experiencing what you did in childhood. Often the categories and classes that we're put into during childhood affect us for a great while.

When your confidence is low and you already feel lesser then others it's easy to not take care of yourself or to belive that you're worth the effort of caring for... so many gain weight and get depressed. The more weight you gain the more depressed you get and the more weight you gain, etc. etc. I've been there.

I was depressed for years and still struggle every once in a while with feelings of inferiority. I think everyone has their insecurities, but you just make the best out of yourself and over time you grow to be more loving and accepting of yourself. I've come a long way.

If it makes you feel better... I went from being so depressed that I barely left my house, stopped talking to any of my friends, being 50 lbs. overweight, unemployed and depressed to being HAPPY, lean and fit, self-employed, engaged and the mother of a beautiful little boy. So... keep your head up. There is hope. Just take the first step. And if counseling is where you need to start... do it. Life is short... and your ARE WORTH THE EFFORT.

God bless you during this difficult time. These are the tests... you'll be better and stronger for it! You WILL.

P.S. You should be sooo proud of yourself for being in school and going for it. Don't compare yourself to others. They have their lives and you have yours. Only you can take care of you. And you're taking the steps. Don't give up. Stick to it! Be proud that you're doing it!!! Good for you.

Answer 4

Sorry to hear about your low self esteem, I think that your perception of life is causing you to think negative and which is causing you not to succeed. The only recomendation that I can give to you is to stop worrying about the past and what people are saying about you. Consider yourself very special and you're the most important person in the world. Tell yourself that you have a mind and a brain and you can accomplish anything that you want to do. Just think of each day as the first day for the rest of your life, the past is history and can not be change, re-arrange or modify.....Happiness comes from within. You don't need to prove anything to others just be the best you can...That's what life is all about..

Answer 5

I was in the same place you are in now. I couldn't grasp a few subjects and was put in special classes or had to stay after school for extra help. I was always embarrassed and didn't want my friends to know. i hated the way i looked, was to skinny, frizzy hair, wasn't allowed to ware makeup. i felt ugly and stupid.

I finally got fed up feeling like that, so I just said to myself that I'm a good person and just because I wasn't book smart and was skinny, I'm as good as any person. once my ego was boosted I found that other things came to be a little easier.

you are just as important as anyone else and have a lot to offer this world. there is no such thing as an ugly person, everyone is beautiful, including you. and if you put your mind to it, you can do or be anything you want to. so hun, look in the mirror and see the beautiful person looking back at you.

Answer 6

I know this might sound a little corn but listen to this song...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3YgPgtx-_h0

being comfortable in your own skin is not something that is going to happen over night..you will learn to accept yourself for who you are one day...and I know that there was a time when i felt like you uncomfortable and awkard..but you will get through it..you apperance you can always change your clothes and stuff is something easy to change but unless you learn to accept yourself and do some soul searching then you will never be happy with who you are...but it take time and tell yourself everyday when you wake up that you are an amazing person...and someday you will be happy with yourself..good luck and dont worry you will come into your own

Answer 7

You know what you need?
A Martial Arts class! A few weeks in Ju Jitsu or Karate, or even non-violent Tai Chi would get you some self-discipline, some confidence, and some sense of self-worth.

Look into it at your college's gym.....and good luck.
The pride you earn will stay with you in all areas of your life.

Answer 8

enjoy your life ,,,, there is no hurry to get anywhere , we're all going to heaven ,,, you too , no matter how much money you made here on earth , you get and need none there,,, so do what you have to do to get by wile you're here , and ( enjoy the ride ) it's a nice view if you don't let yourself get distracted by the expectations of others,, do what you can to make others happy but don't get obsessed ,,,.... enjoy the scenery