Do you like my poem?

Question

I'm turning fifteen soon, so I wrote this poem last night. What do you think?

I woke up a little earlier than usual today.
It was probably the axiety; I'm fifteen now, after all.
But it feels strange.
It's like, I've woken up for the first time in my life.

It's not just another day. It's another year.
15 years, to be exact.

When you're a child, you have these reflects, y'know?
Like, when someone says "skinned knees", you say, "kiss it".
When someone says "boys", you say, "cooties".
And when you don't get what you want,
You throw a fit until you finally do.

But now...
Now, it's different.
When you scrape that knee,
There's no one there watching you.
You have to get up and keep on moving, or you'll be left behind.
Whether you're still bleeding or not doesn't make a difference to anyone.

And then, out of no where,
You're holding hands with a cootie infestation.
You're feeling those butterflies finally burst.
And you're finally learning that "forever" is just a word.

And when you want something
As in you want it so bad that you'd die for it...
It doesn't matter how much you kick and scream.
You're still not going to get it.

Then the next morning, you wake up.
You're hoping, just hoping, that today will be different.
You're hoping that you can be eight again.
Because then all that you'd need to heal a wound...
Is a bandage.
A simple, tan-coloured, cotton padded bandage.
But I guess things just aren't that simple anymore.

I'm fifteen now.
I'm not a child anymore.
I'm an adult.
And when I go to sleep tonight, I'll cry.
I'll cry because fifteen isn't an end to life.
It's a new beginning.

And that what scares me the most.

Answer 1

Happy almost 15 years old, girl! I enjoy reading your poem, but try to make it shorter and more sophisticated. keep posting the new one! you'll get better each time.

Answer 2

It has no rhythm, only a little bit of feel 'n only sometimes. Plus, anyone that reads this is gonna be like, 'your 15 'n you think your an adult!?' Life's not nearly as hard you make it out to be when you turn 15. (On average, anyways.) If you left out the age, it might not have been so bad...

But it wouldn't have hurt to put a little more feeling into it, either. I mean, cooties...?? That's not very poetic, love. Neither was that bandage part. I mean poetry, like I've already said to another, is about feeling. And feelings and emotions are not about simple, basic material things.

Plus, at times, I think the wording could've been a bit better... Like, "...as in...", 'y'know', 'anxiety'. And you already know 'cooties'...

However, there were parts that I liked. Like when you talked about scraped knees. Maybe done a little differently, though... Perhaps putting it...almost simply would be better. 'Cause in some aspects your just carrying on, there. And the 'cootie' thing could also be done differently. But with the same basic concept.

Because I like the concept: growing up. The differences, the changes... But at such a young age...? Nah. No one knows nothing 'til they're 30. Lol. (And I'm not that old, by the way.)

Luck, though.

Answer 3

truth time.
I don't believe in telling someone how good or bad something is if I don't mean it.
What you had to say was good, and you said it in a manner that I consider better than just adequate. As a poem if left much to be desired, It had no rhythm, rhyme is irrelevant, but rhythm needs to be there so that the words flow from the paper and into your mouth in a fluid smooth continuance. Use punctuation to pause and slow the action, just as if you were writing an essay, but arrange your words to have cadence, and use matching numbers of lines in your stanzas. Keep trying, I think you may have what it takes to be good at this.

Answer 4

When you put the needs of another over your own then you'll be an adult. You're looking at the universe with candlelight. It's much much bigger. You have so many things to see and experience yet. So many failures, heartbreaks, triumphs, and moments of joy yet to come. Embrace your life and live it. Also, just about everybody feels the way you do at 15.

Answer 5

To me, this is not a fair question. Poetry is a very subjective approach to meaning. Everybody's approach is right for them. If a poet cares for comments from others, that poet has to provide some guidelines about their approach to poetry. Without such guidelines, it is not possible to provide meaningful comments. For example, I don't care for poems that are longer than 20 to 30 lines. I can provide reasons for this. But if you provide reasons why you like longer poems, then I can assess your long poem by your reasons in comparison with my reasons. Of course there is much more to poetry than length.

Answer 6

For me a poem has to have rhythm. It does not unavoidably could desire to rhyme besides the undeniable fact that it needs to hit my emotions. i think of clarity of expression is significant besides. i don't prefer to 2d guess what i'm examining approximately. I constantly seek for what I term "poetic gem stones"interior the text textile.

Answer 7

I wouldn't go so far as to say 'adult' but.....I really really enjoyed that. It's not the usual poem you hear from someone your age. ie: "I love you, what am I going to do
you broke my heart in two" blah blah blah.
I wouldn't change it at all though. You can look back on that in 20 years......it's good to see a teen with that approach and realization of what's to come
keep writing

Answer 8

I really like the way you think but it seems more like an entry in a diary than a poem.

Answer 9

Incredible one of the best poems made by a teen :) i love it, it expresses all you want to express its absolutely fabulous

Answer 10

The poem is okay, it expresses what you are trying to express but make it a little more fancy..