I personally am an overall emotionless person and for some reason I think everyone else should be too, so I say and do many things that hurt others. I know it does, but i can't seem to help it. I've tried to stop, but it just comes by instinct. What should I do?
2007-09-01 13:22:13 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
I'm trying to change cause I'm losing my friends really quickly.
2007-09-01 13:29:57 · update #1
You guys don't get it. I can think all I want about what I'm going to say, but can't think "will this hurt me if someone said it to me?" because I don't get hurt feelings or whatever from what people say to me.
2007-09-01 13:35:07 · update #2
Be honest with yourself. Have an open mind. Look at something, identify that it's something you would never normally do, and then go do it. Good luck :]
2007-09-01 13:27:24 · answer #1 · answered by i.like_pants 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't beat yourself up over it and don't obsess over it...the fact that you're not a 'warm and fuzzy' sort is not in and of itself a bad thing -- the only thing you need to work on is NOT hurting others with things you say and do. If your 'instinct' is to lash out verbally and otherwise, you need to find out why you are willful and mean. That's a big leap from just not being a touchy feely kind of person and you need to learn the Golden Rule -- the shorthand version of which is - TREAT OTHERS THE WAY YOU WANT TO BE TREATED! That'll do ya -- and if you can't seem to do that on your own, you need to go to a counselor or someone who can help you with that because that is aggressive behavior and that is a personality problem. Again, just not being a 'sweet and kind' person is not a big deal -- actively being mean is!
2007-09-01 20:32:58 · answer #2 · answered by felixthecat 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What you do is STOP & THINK before you open your mouth. Seriously, before you say anything, ask yourself if what you say is going to hurt someone. Count to ten before you speak, do whatever needs be. But don't purposly go around hurting others. At least you do realize you're hurting others, so that proves you have the emotion of knowing, the emotion of knowing what hurts another person. Try what I suggested & see if maybe it just might help you. Some day you're gonna want friends, you know this is NOT the way to go about getting them. Think before you talk! You CAN do it.
2007-09-01 20:32:14 · answer #3 · answered by Sue C 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You lack a natural sense of empathy so you need to compensate that lack with your intellect. Lean how to use tact and diplomacy and you will get better results. 8:)
To your comment "You don't understand" I can say "Yes I do understand" because I have been known to be brutally honest at times. I have to be self aware and use tact instead of blurting out the first thing I think of. You want permission to continue without making any effort you have come to the wrong place.
2007-09-01 20:28:39 · answer #4 · answered by PrivacyNowPlease! 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop being so self centered. Before opening your mouth. THINK to yourself, "Is this going to hurt someone, how would it feel if somebody did it to me" Maybe taking a few extra seconds will pay off or maybe you will wind up a very old lonely person.
2007-09-01 20:29:09 · answer #5 · answered by Dan 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are emotionless than it won't bother you to tell you that you are a cold,narcissistic,self-centered,self-aggrandizing person.
I would warn you not to explore future friendships if this is how you operate.Save some the grief.How did you come by this "instinct"?Parents?Why are you emotionless?
2007-09-01 20:32:25 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's your own self-defense mechanism. If you hurt first, they won't hurt you. See a counselor because I can tell you really want to change. Good luck!
2007-09-01 20:26:17 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
pay attention to what you're saying, and think through what you're going to say before you say it. it may be tedious at first, but after a while, it'll just be second nature. focus on not saying things that could be hurtful. i hope this helps you, good luck!
2007-09-01 20:29:05 · answer #8 · answered by ♥_Me&You_♥ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hold your tounge and bit down when you think you are going to talk think about it in you r head then think would this bother someone else and if not then speak away if it is questionable keep the comment to yourself
2007-09-01 20:27:39 · answer #9 · answered by Jessica M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
..you are not totally emotionless.. its not about your emotions that you hurt someone else feelings,. its your own character.. try to be patient to others, you cannot understand others if you cannot understand yourself. try to know yourself better for you to understand others and for you to love and care for them.
2007-09-01 20:43:40 · answer #10 · answered by maiah 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋