His wife found out, my question: he is still telling me he doesn't know whats going to happen w/ him and her, but he can't leave right now (because of pending business ownership) and he still loves me and will alway help me if I need it. Will he be back? Why won't he just say goodbye?? Please help me be strong, I am physically ill over this.
2007-09-01 12:21:02 · 26 answers · asked by italy9 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
To "lava girl" there is more to the story I just tried to be brief, we have mutual friends have all known each other 15 yrs. before I came into the picture she (the wife) threatened to leave, always bit**ed about him, and if she cared so much- why was he able to leave the house at any hour of day or night for hours, and also spend nights?? Why was he able to spend entire days on the lake with me?? If he didn't love me, why did he insist on meeting my parents?? my brother? my sisters?
2007-09-01 13:00:50 · update #1
To "lava girl" there is more to the story I just tried to be brief, we have mutual friends have all known each other 15 yrs. before I came into the picture she (the wife) threatened to leave, always bit**ed about him, and if she cared so much- why was he able to leave the house at any hour of day or night for hours, and also spend nights?? Why was he able to spend entire days on the lake with me?? If he didn't love me, why did he insist on meeting my parents?? my brother? my sisters?
2007-09-01 13:01:42 · update #2
So you only ended it after the fact that his wife found out. Hmmmmmm why not before? I only hope that when you get married that the same is done to you and then you will know how his wife feels. You talk about you finally got respect for yourself, well it sure as hell took you a long time to find it (5yrs)
Just for the record, he does not love you and probably never did, you were with him for 5 yrs and he still did not leave his wife, you were just a convenient piece of a**.
So stop with the (feel sorry for me attitude) and suck it up. HOMEWRECKER.
UPDATE
Hey you can tell the whole story as often as you like and try to justify why you both had the affair, still does not change the fact that you messed with a man that was not yours to mess with in the first place. Despite their relationship you should have left each other alone. If he was not happy, he should get a divorce then pursue a suitor. If you don't like negative feedback. DON"T POST QUESTIONS.
2007-09-01 12:51:55 · answer #1 · answered by happytree 2 · 3⤊ 1⤋
1
2016-05-07 16:44:53 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I guess deep down, it will always be hard to truly trust someone who you met as a result of infidelity. Hard to trust a cheat, there's no getting away from that. Five years is a long time but you got to remember he has a longer history with his wife no matter how bitter their time has been.
Furthermore, you got to remember what is at stake for him personally: half of his assets; I assume half of his business and alot of emotional ties. From a purely cold hearted view I learned from high roller businessman is that talk is most definitely 'cheap.' The 'truth' comes out when personal financies come into jeopardy, the price always reveal the truth about someone's thoughts. His possibly costly divorce will reveal how much he values your relationship. If he choose to stay with his wife then you will need to move on and accept the irony of being cheated by a player.
I'm sure he has feelings for you, after all, he's been with you for five years. Remember though, you were sharing him all the time you were with him. Now you have to decide what is the best thing for you. What are you going to do next? Focus your energy in pursuing lasting happiness: career, travel, new experiences and even more friends. This awakening is the probably the best thing for you. There's alot more life left in you yet and you sound like a very sincere person, I don't think you'll have any problems in meeting someone of greater quality. Now you just have to get started.
BTW. he'll try to snake out if this situation, don't wait around for him, you'll be adding more fuel to the fire, walk on.
2007-09-01 12:42:23 · answer #3 · answered by phil c 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you did the right thing to end this relationship. I also think you would be wise to stay away from this man. Think about it. If he is cheating on his wife with you, who's to say he won't do the same thing IF the two of you were to get together? A man who can turn his back on promises he made to love his wife cannot be trusted. Yes, you will hurt for a while but you will be stronger and hopefully wiser in the end. Learn to love and respect yourself enough to find someone who is truly free to love you back the way that you deserve. You had half of this man's heart. Don't you deserve more?
2007-09-01 12:27:09 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You didn't end anything if the wife found out. The wife ended it. It would still be going on if the wife hadn't found out. As far as getting respect you didn't get that either,,you're still asking if people thinks he will leave her and come to you. You got stuck in this other person's marriage where you didn't belong. I know you're hurting and so are the all the other people this affected. Just take this opportunity to reflect on what you were doing is wrong and hurtful to all involved. Get some help with this and let it make you be a better, stronger person that can respect and be happy with yourself.
2007-09-01 12:39:21 · answer #5 · answered by The Wižard 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
This Site Might Help You.
RE:
I ended a 5 yr relationship w/married man -finally got respect for myself, but it is truly killing me inside?
His wife found out, my question: he is still telling me he doesn't know whats going to happen w/ him and her, but he can't leave right now (because of pending business ownership) and he still loves me and will alway help me if I need it. Will he be back? Why won't he just say goodbye??...
2015-08-23 08:06:47 · answer #6 · answered by Hilbert 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keep walking away - if he wants out of the relationship with his wife he would have walked away 5 years ago... come on' girl... smarten up... he has had he cake and ice cream for 5 years... Don't answer his phone calls.. don't go by his house... don't make any contact......Find a man who WANTS to be with you all the time and can commit....IF you couldn't get him to leave his wife in 5 years.. then there isn't anything you can do in the next 5 years to change his mind... he is a loser!
Quit being easy for him! Stop being so accessible... Have some respect for yourself. ...
2007-09-01 12:27:35 · answer #7 · answered by MurphysGirl 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes man is not as brave or as decisive as woman. They like to delay, and hope the condition can change, without making any effort or decision.
Personally, there is no right or wrong in a relationship. Outsider cannot judge; you may not able to judge too. Ask yourselve, will you regret if you leave him? Do you find happiness when you are with him? Is he worth your trust?
We live for ourselve, not for others, and we have only ONE chance.
We tends to be influenced by others, friends, parent, and society...ended up we live for others. Leaving him, so that he can stay with his wife, may not be the best solution. His wife and himself may not be happy too.
There is no definate answer. My advice: Make a decision which you will not regret in the future.
2007-09-01 15:22:40 · answer #8 · answered by ttravel_queenn 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all, kudos for leaving him. Do yourself a favor and realize that he wants to leave both doors open. He wants to be with his wife but leads you on to keep you there as a back up. That is why he wont say "goodbye". When a man loves a woman, he will do everything to be with her even if it means losing a business. Even if it means ending up completely broke because true love is priceless. You deserve better and if you havent apologized to his wife do so and walk away. You wouldnt want some single woman to mess around with your husband so dont do it to another woman. Everyone makes mistakes but you need to move on. There are so many single and emotionally available guys out there just waiting for someone like you to come along. Good luck.
2007-09-01 12:39:15 · answer #9 · answered by belindaramos21 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
i think what you're physically ill about is the realization that you have wasted 5 yrs putting your needs and wants second to the needs and wants of a man who is too greedy to be happy with the love of one woman. instead, he has found you, a woman who is thrilled to have his wife's sloppy seconds.
what should make you ill is thinking about how you've let this man degrade you. you should be ill thinking about how many great men you have let pass you by. you should be ill about how this married man has degraded his wife. you should be ill at how you're fantasizing about a man who is comfortable leading a double life for years and years.
he keeps calling you because history has shown that you are gullible enough to believe his lame promises. your self-esteem is so low that you put your life on hold to cater to him, encourage him, and love him all while he treats you like his personal call girl.
yes, you should be ill, but not for the reasons you state.
2007-09-01 12:50:06 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋