if there a way to stop being shy?

Question

i'm really tired of being shy. all the girls who say they think shyness is cute only think that when it's a guy with an innocent boylike apppearance. i don't have that so i am probably just seen as boring, dull, and lacking in confidence. it really isn't fair.

is there a way to stop being shy? i've heard somewhere that some people are just naturally shy. is that true? is it possible that i am just naturally like this and can't change?

Answer 1

You cannot change your personality but you can work on being more outgoing.
You need to subject yourself to social situations often. Church or other group settings are a nice way to start so you can socialize but still feel like you are not singled out.

Answer 2

I'm not sure if shyness is "natural". But even if you are naturally shy that doesn't mean you can't change.

Some of our most influential and vocal leaders, celebrities, and successful people were shy.

James Madison, the 4th president of the United States was reputed to be a quiet man, yet he was able to get his point across to the Senate and House of Representatives very succinctly.

James Earl Jones, a prolific actor used to have a stuttering problem and yet his voice was used to portray Darth Vader.

I was very shy when I was younger, and I will tell you that it is not easy to get over it. But nothing of great value to yourself is ever easy to achieve. You can seek professional training such as public speaking classes, or if your interest is solely to attract women then you can acquire self-help guides (books, audio, dvd's) which are very useful.

Becoming more socially outgoing takes practice for the shy-minded. You are going to have accept failure. Know that for the first 10 (heck, maybe a 100) girls you approach, you will probably be rejected. Take notes, as to why. What was your approach? What did you say? What did she say?

Most women don't consider appearance as their main attraction. Confidence is big on their list. Develop your confidence and just take the plunge. (What do have you to lose?) Ask the first girl out and if she rejects you, move onto the next one. If you succeed once out of 10 tries then that is a success. Practice makes perfect.

Good luck.

P.S. The book I am recommending portrays a fictional character of absolute confidence in himself.

Answer 3

It may always be a struggle for you, but there are ways around shyness.

The best way is to learn to be a really good listener and get people to talk about themselves.

If you can get past the "Hi, I'm Andy. Nice to meet you..." part, ask leading questions that get the other person telling you their life story. It is ever so much easier to carry on a conversation with someone new if you can get them to go first.

You will always find it more difficult than some folks to shine in a crowd of strangers, but if you try to focus on what others are saying instead of thinking of how you are coming across, you will find yourself feeling a lot more comfortable.

Answer 4

We are what we are and we can be what we want to be. No gets gets anywhere without practice. First, you have to be content with who you are. I hope that is a nice person. If you don't want to be shy, do what you have to do to put yourself forth. If that means having the courage to ask a girl out, ask her out, treat her well, and she won't have any complaints. There are many things out there to give you pointers. Try to look for books on social skills. Read. Do things. Make yourself interesting. Of course, there is nothing wrong with being shy and things have a way of working out if we wait long enough, but don't just sit and do nothing. Life will pass you by if you don't get on a train (metaphorically speaking).

Answer 5

i thought i was just shy, turns out i have asperger's syndrome. go to a doctor and see if there is a physiological cause for your shyness that can be addressed. sometimes there's nothing you can do about it, but you may be to be treatable. [i almost said 'lucky enough to be treatable'. now that i know i'm an aspie, i find it easy to live with my social aversion, and i'm glad for the gifts asperger's has given me.]

good luck

Answer 6

you can't change, if you are in your teens are that way its extremely unlikely for you to change. personality hardens and solidifies in your teenage years. shyness though is something thats been going your whole life. no way to change it, and the problems will follow you throughout your life.

Answer 7

BEING SHY IS SOMETHING YOU GET TO BE FOR LIFE, PROBABLY. BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN THAT YOU CAN'T GET WHAT YOU WANT - WHAT IS REQUIRED THERE IS TO TAKE RISKS AND LEARN TO USE SPECIFIC BEHAVIORS FOR INCREASING THE LIKELIHOOD OF YOUR EVENTUAL SUCCESS. ANYONE CAN DO THAT, BUT YOU NEED TO DO SOMETHING, GET IT? LEARN THE SPECIFIC BEHAVIORS AND PRACTICE, PRACTICE, PRACTICE.

Answer 8

yes you can naturally be shy, and you should try to push yourself to be more outgoing and open.

Answer 9

be kind helpful and considerate