It stems from me being unable to help her finish school overseas and being divorced she can get more loans.I 'm against divorce and I 'll be deployed soon so she can pretty much have access to my paycheck and finish school. DO you think I should go along with her or stick to my values.?
It's actually depressing and it's keeping me from focusing on Iraq.
2007-09-01 10:06:26 · 37 answers · asked by bulldog 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Now that is a low blow! Because of financial problems? I guess finishing school is more important to her than being married to you. Geeeee....with a woman that thinks like that...why would you want to be with her? Are you sure that there is absolutely no other reason that she wants a divorce?
2007-09-01 10:12:13 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Divorce is ugly. An ugly word and an ugly situation to have thrown at you because of financial matters. But who exactly is having the financial difficulties? Not you by the sounds of it, after all she will have access to your money while you are in Iraq. If she wants to study overseas so badly, why doesn't she go out and get a job that will help her save for what she wants out of life? To me, it sounds like she wants her cake and wants to be able to eat it at your expense. No, I don't think you should go along with it at all. She's acting like a 2 year old because she can't get her own way and it's obvious she knows how you feel about divorce or she wouldn't have mentioned it. Your values are an important part of who you are, don't give them up so easily for anyone. Of course this is all depressing, when you feel that your focus should be somewhere else. Tell her how you're feeling and don't back down until she understands what kind of emotional position all this has left you in. See if you can get some leave until this is sorted out. I know that you're being deployed again soon but talk to your Commanding Officer and find out what kind of leave you can get. I know that they're not also too keen on giving out leave for personal situations but this is important to you. I really wish you all the very best wherever you are. May you keep safe and may your return be quick. Hugs :)
2007-09-09 01:18:29 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depending on which state you live in, whether or not you want a divorce or not may not be the issue. In no fault states, she can ask for a divorce even over your objection. I would protect your assets because if she files when you are deployed, you will gain some protection under the Soldiers and Sailors relief act, but that protection is limited. I would go to counseling with her before you are deployed to get the real picture and if that doesn't go well, consult with an attorney before you are deployed.
2007-09-08 22:39:08 · answer #3 · answered by Desdichado 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to focus on Iraq, only way you will survive. And you should always stick to your values.
She doesn't sound very supportive as a partner in marriage. I can understand being against divorce.
My Dad always teased my Mom they should just divorce when we, their children were in college, as then his income wouldn't count, and we could get more financial aid, and then remarry after. They never did ...he never would... He passed away this Spring. I find it sad they got so close to 50th anniversary but never made it. But they gave it a good try! So perhaps you should ask yourself if you think you have a good chance at 50 years with this person?
Just a thought. May God keep you on his radar screen and safe!
2007-09-09 09:21:03 · answer #4 · answered by PattiAtk 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stick to your values. But be prepared to get divorce papers served on you in Iraq. If she is head strong she will wait til you leave and get the divorce any way. I'm so sorry that you are dealing with this at this time. It is a time that you need her supportive love. Not divisive plotting and selfishness. She is not worthy of you. Marriage is a sacred bond, not to be treated as disposable when not convenient. May God comfort and bless you. May God protect you as you serve the country. I'm praying for you.
2007-09-06 10:09:03 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's time she helped herself instead of relying on you as regards money,what kind of marriage is this when she can turn round and say that because you can't help her, she wants a divorce so she can get more loans,whatever happened to her loving and wanting you no matter what!!!!
I would honestly let her go if I were you,she doesn't seem worth the hassle and heartache to be honest.
Start thinking of yourself from now on and try swallowing your values on this occasion.
I think I smell a rat here,I may be wrong but it does sound like she may be using this money thing as an excuse as a way out of the marriage,either way,I'd still get rid.
There's no love on her part,thats for sure.
2007-09-06 08:00:18 · answer #6 · answered by tinyfeet64 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How selfish of her!!! She's lying to you about why she wants a divorce. I know it will hurt but you will be better off without someone who only thinks of their self. Give her the divorce because things won't ever get better and she'll always resent you for not going along with the divorce. At least you'll be able to focus on staying alive. Stay safe over there! I'll say a prayer for you.
2007-09-09 08:02:25 · answer #7 · answered by SandyO 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well since you are leaving and you are heading to iraq get the divorce so you don't have to give her money. shes not good enough for you and that anyone can see. you don't owe her nothing let her get her educaton on her own. i assume there is no kids if there isn't get going and do it and get rid of her you will be better off in the long run and when you come back who knows where you will end up and be a better person without a mucher. god bless you and keep safe
2007-09-05 16:16:55 · answer #8 · answered by Tsunami 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to tell her all of this so that she can understand how you feel, what will happen while your in Iraq. If you think that she will be able to go to school while your in Iraq, there is possibility that she can still get some kind of assistance due to your absence in the home, not sure though
2007-09-07 07:17:34 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
this pretty much sucks, you will get your paycheck taxfree, and hazardous duty pay every month, she should be able to finish her schooling while you were away. If you were on the verge of bankruptcy, it would be different. then one of you could keep the debt and file bankruptcy, but school??? I think there is more going on here than she has said. maybe she is afraid of what will happen when u are in iraq.
2007-09-01 10:20:14 · answer #10 · answered by Ms Always Right 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋