The disease to please?

Question

I posted two questions, one for each gender, asking what is considered degrading for men and women. I noticed one big difference between evaluating the genders:

The majority held the woman responsible for her own degrading acts: "skimpy clothes," "stripping," "being idiotic," etc. While the majority also held a woman responsible for a man being degraded: " I think it's degrading for a woman to correct her husband in front of other people," "Expecting him to resolve problems instead of taking problems from his shoulders," "men having to pay alimony, etc.

Any thoughts?

modest_proposer: While I don't believe this forum to reflect the real world at all times, "outside" studies suggest similar gender differences in "moral development"....Carol Gilligan is a good start, if you are interested in knowing more.

Answer 1

Am I the only guy here who thinks a women's body is something to be admired? Skimpy clothes -- is that supposed to be degrading to a woman? Why would that be?

Men who worry about female promiscuity are...uh...a different breed. How exactly are they harmed by women who like to make love too much? And how do they determine how much is too much.

Answer 2

Hopefully the answers are a reflection of the people answering questions in Yahoo, but as far as what is considered degrading for women, I think a lot of people still hold women to a very high standard when it comes to their sexuality, which isn't fair. I would find prostitution and stripping degrading, under a number of circumstances.

For example, I think people outside of Yahoo would find male prostitution and male stripping degrading as well. It's just the shallow posters in Yahoo who whine about how being corrected by your partner is "degrading"--it's annoying and may be disrespectful, but degrading?

Answer 3

I think that it is degrading for either sex to not be entitled to autonomy. A man or woman who is constantly told what they should be doing, who they can talk to or where they can go.
Men and women both can end up in relationships where they are not allowed growth spiritually, emotionally or intellectually by being given rules of behaviour by their significient other. Society also to a certain extent does not encourage women to live up to their potential.
To me putting limits on a person it the most degrading besides stereotyping them.

Answer 4

It is statistically proven that women say 5 times more words than men do in a day on average. So, lets say that both a man and a woman are equally thinking degrading thoughts about a third person in a three way conversation. Whom do you think would be more likely to say something degrading first? And after the degrading thought was uttered, the man would do the instinctual man thing and not say a word, he does'nt have to, the woman did his work for him. So maybe it's just the law of averages perpetuating the facts.

Answer 5

In your example, it seems the results say...

Men can be degraded, while women can only degrade themselves.

Or, rather, the opinions of the answers you report getting seem to suggest this.

So, it would seem that women are given some sort of extra credit for being idealized as more moral or credible, by virtue of their gender. Or, at least, the people who answered had this idea, whether they acknowledge it or not.

I don't think that is uncommon. For every man who says women are worthless, there is one who puts her on this high, high pedestal. Often, it is the same man, and his bitterness is due to his disproportionate ideas.

Answer 6

I think people may tend to "judge", thus disrespect a man or a woman based on their looks (attractiveness, weight, build, any handicaps, etc.). Just a stink eye glance conveys your "grade".

Also, social status. Haven't you ever been looked up and down to see if you fit the acceptance of others. One of the first things people always ask is "what do you do for a living", "what area do you live in". That's why there are so many status symbols: cars, watches, designer purses, nails, etc. It even goes as far as what bottle of water you're drinking and if you're bringing starbucks to work.

I think it is our celeb model society that we try to emulate.
A lot of it self esteem and how you want to be perceived.

The whole key is respect. Men respecting women. Women respecting men.

I think bullying, gossiping, intolerance, and screening people through your own personal filter has to be looked at by the person who does these things. I am wondering if parents today are helping their kids build character or whether they are (by example) making them shallow.

Answer 7

And the question is...? Ok this is some very vague question, I'll answer it once and for all!

Since modern day women are so unreceptive to any criticism or directives from men as to what they should behave like, they (women) have only one option left:

Be a moral compass for each other. I think its great that some women are trying to keep others "in check" because otherwise the morals (skimpy clothing, promiscuity, etc) would be even further down in the gutter.

Any further questions, your honor, lol?

Answer 8

I'd say that men do plenty of things that are degrading to women. The difference is, women do things that are degrading to themselves. Men don't do things that are degrading to themselves. They don't, for example, usually work as strippers or prostitutes.

Answer 9

men generally speaking are in denial- women understand the issue, see what needs to be corrected if possible and move on. It is very difficult for the average man to see his failings or acnowledge it- why else is it so difficult for a man to see a doctor specially in cases of depression or counselling etc.Its easier to blame it on someone and that someone usually is the woman

Answer 10

I think that you have the capacity to consider things more broadly and openly than many of the questioners and posters here, and that you make an effort to understand men as persons. Thank you.