Anxiety of facing real life?

Question

I was contemplating about this a lot lately. I have been heart broken twice this year, now I am safe for a while, lol:)! Most of all, I am living alone. I do not have close friends as I am working in a foreign country and in a very competitive and judgmental scientific research lab where getting real trustworthy friends with zero superficiality is like searching for a needle in a stack of hay. I have to mention that I have always been ambitious and have self-love, but this depressive state is making me feel litteraly suicidal and that scares me. Today's society is filled with people with mental problems, living on antidepressants and trying to get buy. People leaving religion and belief in God because the main messages have been so twisted that by realizing the fakeness of religious institutions, you give up on believing. Then you go out in the real world and if you don't put on a social mask, people think you are weak and judge you.

So, if you put a social mask that is not really you, it makes you a "fake person". And if you are genuine w/o social masks, you are "weak and lack self-protective mechanisms". And then all you CAN do is resort to Internet life, which is not a LIFE! And then you "lack life". And then you say, ok, I would LOVE to get oyut ther eand grab the real life, but with SO MANY RULES, how can one be not anxious to try!?!?!?!?
Anyone else has these issues?? Because I seriously don't know how to handle this.

I am not religious and never have been. I also do not have a home to go back to, long story.

Answer 1

just stand up to life and face it like everyone else

Answer 2

i guess your anxiety is caused by two things: you had been heart broken twice this year and you are confused with your faith/beliefs, i guess, because you are logical and scientific as you work for this research lab.

when a heart gets broken, only love can fix it back. now, when i say love, i mean it can be romantic, friendly or brotherly. find a way to reach out to others. maybe you just need to voice out everything inside you or let another soul hear it from you.

i am not surprised that you have that kind of mentality towards religion.. but try to think of this: most religious institutions are fake and involved in a lot of scandals/controversies but despite all these, one can still be spiritual. true faith springs from the heart, not from what you had been taught of when you were young.

and lastly, yeah put on your social mask, i believe it is way to cope. just see to it that you still know yourself at the end of the day.

everybody hurts, just as the song says. uhm, explore the depression you feel (listen to sentimental music, cry, eat your comfort food, etc) but be sure to jump back to your normal mode when you're over it or on the next day.

i hope this helps.

Answer 3

hey, i feel i can relate a little bit. I dont know if this will help you at all, because i can only understand what I am going through. Though if my experiences can help you in any way, im more than happy to share them.

first off, you understand that something needs to change because feeling suicidal is definately not the way to go.

I have trouble making friends whether it be, I don't feel like opening up (for whatever reason), or I judge people to the point where I dont even give them a chance. To me, it kind of sounds like you do the same.

"real trustworthy friends with zero superficiality is like searching for a needle in a stack of hay. "

In my oppinion (which could be totally wrong btw) people do wear this "mask" in order to survive every day life. If people didn't "bullies" would take advantage of the situation, and thrive off of it. So people build these masks in order to defend themselves. I believe their are very few people, who wear how they trully feel on the outside for everyone to see.

anyway, what i've come to find is that underneath that mask, it's people just like you and I, with the same worries and hopes that we all share. You just got to get close enough to see it is all.

So take a chance, take the first step, open up, whats the worst that could happen? could you feel any worse then you presently do? If it doesn't pan out then they weren't the right friend for you anyway. But keep trying

my suggestion is find something you like to do, for example excersizing, or something productive and find someone with the same likes. Give people a chance, they'll suprise ya =P

I dunno, I am just now trying to figure this out for myself as well, I'm kinda in the same situation, so maybe its all gibberish, but hey it's worth a shot?

Answer 4

I understand a little where you're coming from as I live alone, brokenhearted and work in a hospital research lab. It's not nearly as competitive as the workplace you describe, however.
Don't ever think that you would be "weak" or lack "self-protective mechanisms" just by being yourself. It takes a strong will to not follow the herd. If you can't be yourself, how are you free? That is what this Life is supposed to be about, but many folks have forgotten.

Answer 5

Anxiety is a part of everyday life and accepting it as such should give us some measure of assurance, by way of it being a sort of common denominator for every body.One doesn't have to put too many masks if we have reasonable degree of self assurance and willingness to face up to daily real life situations.There should be many things which we can take in our strides on a daily basis and only few which deserve our deeper concern.Out of all the later matters,we can concentrate on those where we can make a difference and for the rest,let
them take their own course.[as we have no control over them].Slowly but surely,one begins to have a better control on life situations and anxiety level drops.Anxiety can't be done away with altogether but through our attitude and approach,can be kept at manageable levels.

Answer 6

I think some people go through life looking for something that isn't there, like a picture in there mind, well real life is full of disappointment, sadness,dispare..but it is filled with small things that make it all worth it too. try to find small things to be happy about , how about the fact you woke up this morning? as far as friends if you have one or two good friends in life you are doing good. make your own happiness, if you need to find friends ,they are out there just don't look too hard.

Answer 7

Why are you living in a foreign country, away from everything you know and love? How important is money, that you're willing to die for it? Come home, wherever that is, find a job you love, join a church if you need religion. You're the only one who can help yourself. Do some serious thinking, establish your priorities and follow them. We can't do this for you.

Answer 8

Yeah, it is much safer and comfortable to stay in your comfort zone or in front of your computer. But this is not the real world but the virtual world.

I think start small and then bigger gradually. Don't start out big. This is probably what's causing the anxiety, that is, trying too much too soon or too big of things too soon.

Answer 9

wow
well i know a lot about psychologie specialy depression
cauz i have a closs friend who is a psychologist besides i healed myself once from depression
i usualy help ppl face to face threw their probs but mayb i can help u a lil online
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