My bf lives 2 states away,but recently he joined the army for the next 4 years,and right now hes somewhere in bootcamp. Im 16,and when i turn 18 or 19 i want to marry him.....and i know hes "the One". How can i marry him when hes enrolled in the army? Does he ever get breaks?
2007-08-31 22:20:59 · 16 answers · asked by Maddy 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
relax girl. there is no need to rush into marriage.
when you turn 18 or 19... you can then decide if you'd really want to be with him for the rest of your life. you are still young. should open up your choices.
2007-08-31 22:25:52 · answer #1 · answered by Dore 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
First I will tell you that there is obviously a way to marry a guy who is in the Army since most of the men in the Army are already married. And it's not like you won't see him for the entire 4 years.
Onto the marriage question. Are you planning on asking him to marry you or are you waiting for him to ask you?
When I was 16 I thought I had met the one too. I wanted to marry him when I was 18 also. You know where I ended up. Pregnant at 18 with an abusive, lying, cheating boyfriend. I finally left him and that's that. But anyways when you are 16 you always think that the guy you are dating is the one but 9 out of 10 times if you do marry at 18 you will be divorced by 23.
You need to finish school, go to college, get a stable job and then think about getting married. If you love him and he loves you than your love will stand the test of time as they say and you will marry when the time is right but for now just enjoy what you have because there is no reason to rush into anything. Take my advice. I am 24 years old, I have 3 small children, and I've been married to a wonderful man for 5 years and the only thing I would have done was waited. I started early too and I never got to finish school or go to college. I never even got to go out and party or anything. You need time to enjoy being young because if you start early you will feel old way before your time. Beleive me.
If your love was meant to be than it will last until you are out of college. Don't be in a rush to become an adult.
2007-09-06 05:51:43 · answer #2 · answered by jgantz07 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First answer, Yes. You can marry your man while he's enrolled in the Army. You have to wait a couple of years until you're at least 18 because if the Army finds out he's dating an under-ager he could get burned. meaning: he could lose rank, get extra duty... those types of things. Second answer, Yes, he will get breaks. He should be getting a break right after bootcamp. Depending on what his MOS (Military Occupational Specialty) or "job" is, will determine how much time he'll have at home when he's not deployed to the warzone for a year. Normally, to the best of my knowledge, the Army does 1 year deployments, with 2 weeks R&R (rest and relaxation) in between. If the army is anything like the Marines, he'll accumulate 2 and a half days vacation every month he is in. We call vacation days "leave." Hope that helps you out. Good luck.
2007-08-31 22:49:39 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes he does get "breaks" from the army. But you definitely have a lot of time to plan for a wedding. Has he even asked you to marry him yet? Do you even know where his bootcamp is?
Take your time and finish high school and college then think about getting married. Age 18 or 19 is still a long time away. While he is gone I suggest you concentrate on your schooling. People do a lot changing between 16 and 21, take your time and plan this out.
Have fun with it.
2007-09-07 04:13:03 · answer #4 · answered by nanogd 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Trust me - you THINK he's the One. I dated a guy in the Army when I was 16; when I was a Senior he Mailed a ring at Christmas. He came home in June. I looked at him different. All I could think is "THIS is who I will be with for the rest of my life".....broke it off. Now, if you don't take the commitment of marriage seriously and think you'll just get a divorce if it doesn't work out, then I guess just be patient...the time will present itself. I wish you'd listen to the advice in all these answers though; I ended up married at 28, and wouldn't have given up those 10 years of single life for ANYTHING! You learn what it is you want, and deserve and end up being able to give more back. I've been blissfully married for 12 years, with 2 adorable children and a SOLID relationship.
2007-09-06 17:09:41 · answer #5 · answered by myemeraldruby 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Many things can happen in two or three years, and you may even change your mind - or maybe HE will change his mind by then. I hate to sound this way, but go to school, and finish high school and think of ways you can earn money so that if and when you do get married, you can get a decent job and take care of yourself, or so if you are married, you can do what you have learned to help with your income while he is in the service. Do I make any sense? Be patient, if you are supposed to marry him, you will and I know you will be very happy either way it goes. Good luck and thank your 'bf' for being in the service of this wonderful country.
2007-09-08 18:58:04 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dear Maddy - May I suggest....
That in four years you will be twenty years old.
I highly recommend, if you want this fellow, that you get heads down with what you need to be doing now.
Like pulling good grades, getting your license, your car, a job, a checking account, and all the things that make you independent. Including that HS diploma and an AA, dear.
You can have 2 years of college under your belt by the time he gets out. He'll have a military background. That's a nice foundation.
Be there for him this next four years. E-mail, write, and send him things. Know that over 4 years your relationship is going to evolve. He may need distance in the relationship, and then he may need the closeness. You are going to have to learn to ride the ebb and flow of a long term relationship.
Just be there when he gets out. Be independent, financially secure, educated, and ready to be his wife, if that is still what you want.
I admire your loyalty, dear.
Good Luck, and God bless you and yours....
2007-08-31 22:36:10 · answer #7 · answered by Puresnow 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he wants to marry you, when you are 18 or 19, it will be easy. Right now, opportunity is not the problem. It is that you are so young. When you are older (it's good that you are waiting for some maturity that comes with years), it will happen very easily, even if you and he only have one free weekend to 'get hitched'!
2007-09-08 03:09:30 · answer #8 · answered by kathyw 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Forget it! 9 out of 10 women married to a army bloke become a widow
2007-08-31 22:26:58 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Of course he gets breaks at some point in time,maybe you should be talking to him about all this cos it doesnt sound like you are talking much at the moment.
And I would definitely wait a few years before you start talking marriage!
2007-09-06 06:55:06 · answer #10 · answered by tinyfeet64 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋