Am I the wrong one here?

Question

I have a close guy friend of mine whom I 've known for over a few years.He happens to happily married, and from what I understand he and his wife have what you would consider an"open relationship"...they've even went so far in having relations with other people outside of their relationship.During the time that me and my friend communicated, his wife was very aware that he and I we're phone buddiesI even thoughhis wife and I hadn't met each other face to face, she invited me out several times and she would invite me to family outings, but then I lost my job, and my friend rented me out a room out of thier house from that point on everything changed with his wife, she didn;t really speak to me, I'd smile and say hi, she would like at me all crazy..then everytime I'm at home she would close her bedroom door for some reason, she was just very mean , you can tell she really didn;t care for me and I can't figure out why?

Answer 1

you are in her house and you are a threat with her man-possibly your friend lied about the "openess" of their marriage with the hopes you'd do him?

Answer 2

I have a friend who for a while, agreed to an "open" relationship with her husband.. for one reason, and one reason only.. She was afraid she would lose him if she didn't go along with it. So, she acted like it was something she was into, when in all reality.. it was tearing her apart. I know this, because while she would try to keep him happy, living that lifestyle.. she would often call me, devastated and unhappy about what she was going through. Seeing her husband's interest in other women, broke her heart.. She says things are different now, and that they're no longer into that sort of thing.. But at the same time, I don't think she has ever really forgiven him (or herself for going along with it) for insisting on it so much.

You may wonder what my point in telling you that was.. It's quite simple really.

There is a very good chance, that *if* they agreed to having an "open" relationship.. that she was not as into it as he thought she was. Maybe his wife was doing the same thing my friend was.. Maybe she was just deperate to hold on to her marriage, even if it meant knowing that her husband felt the need to be with other women. If that's the situation she's in, it can't be an easy one... and having you there in her own home, would just be making it harder to handle.

Or..

You know, there is a chance that they never have had an open relationship, and he was just trying to make you think they did.. so he wouldn't look so awful when he tries to get with you. It may be all him.. and she has nothing to do with it.

Either way, you need to do the right thing.. and get your stuff, and move out of their home. You are intruding into their life, and you are obviously not welcome there (by his wife). Regardless of their personal situation.. she should come first, and if you being there is making her uncomfortable in any way, then you need to get your things.. and leave.

Answer 3

I bet she didn't want you living in their household, neither would I. Sorry honey, it's nothing personal but people like to have their own space. It's okay to have someone visiting you for a few days but longer than that is a hassle. They might have had a quite a few fights over it.

Are you still living in their place? You should move out. They have been nice to you enough but you should not take advantage of the situation. They might be having the problems in their marriage and you don't want to be in the middle. How long have you stayed in their place so far?

I am surprised to hear that you don't understand why she is upset. She has an absolute right to be upset when her husband invites some girl to live with them despite whether they are having an "open" marriage and/or are the swingers.

Answer 4

Some men believe women are less logical. I disagree.
I think women are very logical, just more prone to profound emotional denial.

So let me test my theory on you.

Forget your situation, help me out with this soap opera script.

A guy who swears he has an open marriage, has just invited an attractive, friendly, young, unemployed & sexually availble woman to live with him and his wife.

Now here's where I need a womans advice.

How does the wife FEEL about this?

Could she possibly think his moving a lover in, was different than having one on the side?

Could our boy have exagerated the open marriage thing?

And of course the most important question dramatically speaking.

Can we create a villian and victim, and who would they be?

I'm thinking if you finish this script, you powers of logic will be magically restored.

JTFR . This is the second question I've seen bikinibabewannabe & terliuke absolutly nail.

Answer 5

She probably feels like he's moving in the other woman and feels threatened by your presence. Likewise, often having someone else living with you causes conflict. Even if they had an open marriage, it doesn't mean she wants to bring it home with them.

Keep your eyes open, she may know that this is a "scam" he plays.. I knew a couple with an open marriage that began by hiring young single mothers to come clean their house and then would uh, proposition them over time (after the husband began a game of seduction.)

Answer 6

I think its because you are on her turf now. I mean they probably do have a open relationship but the agreement was that the other person they are seeing can't come and stay in their home. So she probably feels that you are possibly his new "interest" outside of their marriage and she was just being cordial because she didn't really have to see you on a daily basis. But with you in her home now, she probably feels that her hubby broke the rules and now she has to be confronted with his "other" woman daily. So I think it would be better to find a job quick and be on your way. Because I think if you try and explained that you aren't her hubby's new "interest", she won't believe you and things may get even worse. So get out before confrontation happens.

Answer 7

You are not at fault. She is jealous, confused maybe, this is more towards is hiding her displeased feelings for her husband by the choices he made having you stay at a palce he rented out for you.

She is worried about your relations with her husband, despite the 'open relationship' thing. Maybe to her its okay if they had relations with strangers. But the chanced of it being you, spikes up her worries.

Maybe you need to confront her and let her know you don't intend on doing anything with her husband. If she still treats you the same way. Don't feel bad. She might just have issues with her husband that your unaware of. She may blame you, but as I've said you didnt do anything wrong.

Maybe its ur guy friend's mistake...


But I don't see the harm of anything he did to help you. The wife just needs to get over herself.

Si-Lynn

But if you don't want to br around the woman, and this is just to much to bare, maybe you should go live some where else.

But I'd try work things out first...

Answer 8

Yes, you are wrong.

Apparently, regardless of their personal decision to have an "open relationship", neither of them have been bringing their partners home.

You need to get out of their house. "Open relatonship" or not, you are in her marital home. And she does consider herself married.

So, let her know you're leaving at the end of the month. Then get out. You don't have a right to lean on him financially.

Answer 9

Perhaps you have just become too close for comfort? Maybe she is the one in the relationship who is less happy with their arrangement, but agrees to this "open" lifestyle because it is what her husband wants. You living in her home is probably treading on her toes just a little. It's one thing to allow your partner to have sex outside the relationship, but you have to be confident that it is just that. Maybe she gets the feeling that her husband cares for you a little more than he should.

Answer 10

Please understand they have a open relationship...but you should have obviously understood that they are the related ones..you entering their home is equivalent to you barging into your relationship.

Get out before you ruin their life...if not for their sake atleast for your sake ...dont have the blame of ruining a marriage.