What part hurts?

Question

I'm terrified of giving birth, but I absolutely want children, how do I get over this fear?

I'm a big huge baby when it comes to pain. but I don't like the thought of an epidural, I don't really want one.

Is it the contractions that hurt the most or your child coming out? [Please don't say these are dumb questions, I'm not a mother, I've never had children so I do not know.]

Any advice about the birthing and labour process or anything?? and how to get over this fear? please help!

Answer 1

I am a young mother and throught my WHOLE pregnancy I had my mom and aunties telling me it was the most painful ish in the world.

Naturally, I prepared myself mentally for the pain. I am also a huge baby when it comes to pain. So I basically spent 7 months thinking about how horribly painful it was going to be...

BUT THEN when it was time I had no clue I was in labor. I just thought I had to take a big crap. Then my back started to hurt a bit. I was having a hard time falling back asleep. So I took a shower.. and I STILL couldnt fall asleep so I went to see my doctor. and YES, i even drove myself.. and as soon as I got there, I was 5CM dialated! The nurses were freaking out saying I had to get changed because the baby was coming soon...

but during that time that's supposedly the most painful.. it just felt like intesne period cramps. and it probably didnt help that each time i had a contraction I would start jumping to ease the pain.

i was afraid i was going to start to feel intense intense pain soon, so I got the epidural before it got worse. If you go for hte epidural you'll be finnneeeee! In fact, you'll be feeling the pain of the contractions more than the pinch of the needle and it will be done before you even notice.

the part that was painful was the aftermath.. esp if you get an episiotomy. I felt like a blew my butt out and I would be walking ever so slowly for the next week. No sudden movements cuz i felt like i was going to rip all over again.

Also, breast feeding hurts. I shed so many tears over my poor nipples. I hate all those freakin posters of a mother breastfeeding her newborn like it's so easy and pain free.

Giving birth is the easiest part. You'll be fine!

Answer 2

Hey great question!!! Well I am the same as you! well was, I am different now!! I am so afraid of needles I am 19 years old and I have to hold my husbands hand when I get a shot!! I even cry and everything like a little kid :/

My plan was to get an epidural when I got to the hospital, durring my whole pregnancy I never had braxton hicks, so when I did have contractions, they sucked! They didn't feel good at all to me, but I think if I had braxton hicks, I would have been a little more prepared for the pain.

When you are having contractions you feel that you can't move trust me you will be over that bed and you will just want a shot!! I didn't get an epidural I got a spinal, that was like a temp. pain reliever. It was a shot also.

I was actually having alot of trouble pushing because I went into labor at 9am, and started to push at 4pm, and had my baby at 10:42pm... I didnt get to eat all day or drink anything. I had a few ice chips. I went natural pretty much my spinal only lasted for 30 minutes! It did help with the pain of the contractions.

So the only part that hurt when I was trying to push my baby out not on contractions, i felt my lower part opening!! Make sure that you have enough energy to push if your going to be pushing.

Also this isn't a dumb question, when your unsure about anything, just come to here, and I learned that no matter what your question is there is always someone that went through what your going through.

The most pain I went through were the contractions. So good luck and I hope that everything goes great...

One more thing! Now when I go to the doctors or something to get a shot, I think about geez I just had a baby, there is nothing that I am scared of now! I am really over the needles now!!

Answer 3

The type of pain and where it's directed can actually vary quite a bit for each woman.

Some experience the "back labor" quite badly- where the pain is directed in their back. Some experience pain in the hips, while others experience pain in the stomach area like bad stomach craps or menstrual cramps.

Some women think the contractions are the worst part, while others think that the moments towards the end, where the baby is actually coming out is the most painful.

Each pregnancy is different as is each delivery/labor.

To be honest, looking back, I don't think it was so much that the contractions were so excrutiatingly painful, but that they are repeatitive and last longer and longer and come closer together as labor progresses. I think it was more myself and my mind not being able to relax inbetween them because I knew another one would be coming soon and would last longer than the last.

I don't really know what to tell you to settle your fears about it- because nothing anyone said really settled my fears because you always hear those "horror stories" and I agree with the other poster, the women who have those horror stories really shouldn't make a point of constantly telling everyone about their experience in a graphic way because it doesn't inform women- it scares them.

I think how good or bad your labor is has to do with your mental state at the time and how well you're able to relax.

Either way, women have been doing it for centuries and although it is painful and not an easy task, it's more than worth it and you REALLY do forget about the pain after you have your baby.

Answer 4

i didn't feel very much pain when my daughter was coming out, but the 3 hours before i had my epidural were pretty pain full. unfortunately, you are going to have pain, with or without medicine, but the epidural does work wonders. just remember this while you are pushing. "keep going, you can't stop this, push the pain out" that's what the doctors told me, and it really helped. my only advice is for after you have your baby. DO NOT let the doctors or nurses go against your wishes when it comes to what you want done with your baby. that is my biggest regret. i didn't stand up and tell them that i didn't want my daughter to have a bottle, and i didn't stand up and say that i wanted to give my daughter her first bath. don't worry though, in the end, you will find yourself wishing your baby was back in your belly. it's easier to protect them that way. and you really wont remember the pain. you'll remember that it was pain full, but it wont be such a big deal later. good luck, and congrats!!!

Answer 5

For me, it was the contractions that were painful. The actual delivery didn't hurt. Having a baby is not as scary as many people like to make it out to be. I don't know why some women like to try to terrify other women who have never had children with their own horror stories. They seem to get some sort of a sadistic pleasure out of it.

Answer 6

This is a hard one, because every woman is different, and all labours are different. I have had 3 babies, and they say the 3rd is the easiest, and let me tell you, it certainly wasnt. My first was painful as I wasnt prepared for what I was in for, but let me say one thing, and its the same thing I tell anyone who asks me. It doesnt matter how much pain you go through, and you will think to yourself half way through, i just cant do this no more, and you will honestly think its the worst thing imaginable, but AS SOON as your baby is out, you FORGET what you just went through. The pain instantly goes away, and all you do is stare at the bundle of joy in your arms. Honestly, it does really hurt, and anyone that says it doesnt isnt telling you the truth, because it does, but just ask yourself, if it was that bad, why do woman go back again and again for more??? Its the years of joy ahead you think of, not the hours of pain you just indured!!!!

Answer 7

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Answer 8

well dont be afraid to have labor because its normal for a woman to have one... i suggest you go ask your physician about your fear and im sure he woill guide and teach you how to fight those fears