I have written a true life account of an interesting event in my recent life. Will you critique it for me?

Question

I have linked the piece of writing (below) to my blog because it is way too long to include here:

http://meanderingtrevor.blogspot.com/200...

Comments much appreciated. It has been accepted for publishing but I feel it needs criticism before the deadline.

All comments, positive and negative, gratefully received.

My Apologies:

The link to the writing piece is here:

http://meanderingtrevor.blogspot.com/2007/08/this-is-love-kiddo.html

Answer 1

Where is it? All I found was "Page Not Found".

Answer 2

First of all, your link doesnt' work.

Secondly, why are all your things private? How is someone supposed to get an idea of what you are all about if they cannot read your questions and answers?

What have you got to hide?