-Trees trembled and flickered as a crisp wind ran pass and lifted with it the flock of sparrows.
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2007-08-31 19:10:36 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Education & Reference ➔ Words & Wordplay
Close! (it's spelled "commas" btw) Try this:
Trees trembled and flickered as a crisp wind passed and lifted with it a flock of sparrows.
2007-09-01 02:12:59 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would prefer,
Trees trembled and flickered, as a crisp wind ran past and lifted with it, the flock of sparrows.
2007-09-01 02:25:10 · answer #2 · answered by muppetkiller_2000 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wind ran PAST and lifted THEM With A flock of sparrows
2007-09-01 02:16:47 · answer #3 · answered by richard t 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You could use a comma after pass to seperate the events, but I wouldn't. It has one noun doing two things, so it's not two seperate ideas, persons, or events. It should flow well if written into the rest of the dialogue well.
2007-09-01 02:17:20 · answer #4 · answered by Jay Mak 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That's very nice.
That would be so pretty in Calligraphy with illustrations.
May I borrow it?
Sounds like a wonderful description for Autumn.
2007-09-01 02:25:43 · answer #5 · answered by ♫ Bubastes, Cat Goddess♥ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
passed should be past and it isn't a sentence. Add "the trees and change pass,
2007-09-01 02:17:31 · answer #6 · answered by Sheila M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only thing wrong is the word "pass".
It should be "past".
No commas are necessary.
.
2007-09-01 05:11:20 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
change word 'pass' into 'across'
2007-09-01 03:59:43 · answer #8 · answered by Manz 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No,it sounds fine to me!
2007-09-01 02:15:23 · answer #9 · answered by jamie h 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋