Shadows of wisdom trap the light of my soul
it suffers helplessly in the realms of the earth
the feathers of darkness steal my pain
and it all falls apart into a dusty cloud
baskets of fortune fill the air
a cry for destiny, a yelp of fear
something tells me at night in the cold
that it all fell apart into a dusty cloud
a force of power
the crash of a wave
a frost of wealth
a silent scream
the wings of an angel brushed across a face
but it all falls apart into a dusty cloud
I know I know, I'm a beginner but what do you think?
2007-08-31 17:18:42 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous in Arts & Humanities ➔ Poetry
I like it, keep writing! =)
2007-08-31 17:28:20 · answer #1 · answered by Sheena Rose 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Can you explain? Baskets of fortune? Frost of Wealth?
Lots of words but is there meaning?
Even the most abstract stream of consciousness verse has some thread I can can pick up on, but not this one.
Give me some help....
As another poster wrote...
the general idea of poetry is to convey an idea or a mental image -- in other words -- to communicate --- and -- to communicate -- one has to have something there to send that can be preceived on at least some level by the reader -- otherwise what you have is simply random words that anyone can pick out of a dictionary or thesaurus ...
2007-09-01 00:29:07 · answer #2 · answered by GeriGeri 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I really like it. I write some poetry and I love using words like realms, shadows, power, and silent. I think it really brings the poem alive. Keep writing girl, u got talent!
2007-09-01 00:33:26 · answer #3 · answered by darkpoet33 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I dont think it makes any scence.
And yes obviously you are a begginer.
2007-09-01 02:12:20 · answer #4 · answered by yummygal 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋