Does divorces screw up kids?

Question

I have been with my daughter's father for 5 yrs and I am wondering if I get a divorce would it screw her up?

Answer 1

Not if you remember that your daughter's needs come first and that you will have to be friendly, nice and work with your exhusband to make sure her needs are met for the rest of your life.

Answer 2

I, myself, am the child of divorced parents. Recently, I had to write a research paper on weather the effects of divorce were a positive or negative thing. When researching, most of the articles did try to say that Divorce messes with kids psychologically and that they are emotionally disturbed children. I found this to be kind of offensive because I don't really consider myself as having mental issues. It really depends on the situation though. If you are young, it won't be as big of a deal because the child will grow up only knowing about divorced life. In some instances it can be a positive thing. For example, if one parent was abusive, then it is much better to get a divorce than to stay in the relationship. Also, kids can get help if it is really that bad. The main thing that I found was that kids can have trust issues, but you have to remember that isn't necessarily the case.

Answer 3

Divorce doesn't screw up kids---PARENTS screw up kids.....if the parents could just separate peacefully, share custody, share expenses without ANY fighting, it would be so much better for the kids.... to have TWO happy single parents is MUCH better then having two fighting, bickering parents under one roof..... IDEALLY, it would be nice if the parents could solve their problems without divorce but that is rather unrealistic in this day and age.... but it should NOT be unrealistic to have two GROWN UP PARENTS who treat each other with as much respect and DIGNITY as they can to show their CHILDREN that divorce will NOT really split the family UP... it doesn't HAVE to split a family up---look at people like Demi Moore and Bruce Willis and Ashton Kutcher....Ashton and Bruce are BEST FRIENDS and all 3 take the kids on vacations and they all SHARE everything and their kids are probably more well adjusted then most.....A lot of parents unfortunately will try to DESTROY the other spouse in the eyes of the children... a mom who is UPSET witth her ex spouse who tells her kids their father was lazy or spent all the money or HIT her (when he didn't)... it's called parential allienation and is against the law in some states.... but parents who are IMMATURE practice it on a daily basis to make THEMSELVES look better to their children---THAT destroys children....don't make them HATE either parent...... if you plan on divorcing then BOTH parents should sit with the kids and no matter WHAT either parent thinks of the situation, make it sound like this is the best situation possible and that they are NOT TO BLAME and that you and your spouse will stay "FRIENDS" so that the kids can have as normal a childhood as posible without being pulled by one parent or the other....in that way, divorce will not screw up the kids----only the parents can do that.

Answer 4

It all depends upon how the PARENTS deal with the divorce and the KID(S). If the parents are miserable to each other and bad-mouth the other parent in front of the kid and fight all the time, etc, etc, etc, then yeah, it's going to mess the kid up.

However, if the parents deal with the separation as if it were a BUSINESS partnership that's breaking up, and don't get nasty then it goes much better for everyone involved. Also, putting the child into a few therapy sessions with a therapist trained in handling children of divorce will help considerably.

Answer 5

I think it depends on how you and her father act after the divorce. If you fight back and forth with each other and get her in the middle, it can definitely screw her head up. The best thing is to remain friends and get along for her sake and always try to put her first among you and her father. Be rational and both of you just show her you love her and spend time with her and assure her she is not to blame for the divorce and that both of you love her dearly, but that the two of you just couldn't make it work.

Answer 6

Not if you consistently and constantly let her know that in spite of the fact that you and her father have indifferences, she has nothing to do with you splitting. Assure her that you will both be there for her no matter what, but that sometimes grownups cant live together. Tell her all the both of you want is for her to be happy and that you will both strive to make that happen. Let her know that he will there probably even more than he is now. I divorced when my son was barely 3 and he is a healthy, well adjusted young man now. I make it a point to never badmouth his father, let him spend as much time with him as he wanted, and did not interfere with the two of them spending any amt of time together. I maintained a civil relationship with my ex (and it wasnt easy I tell you!) for the sake of our son. All the while, I repeatedly assured him that he was not the cause of our divorce. All depends upon how you act, as well as how the two of you act as parents if all will go well. Good luck

Answer 7

Yes, for awhile anyway. How long it lasts depends upon how well the parents help the child cope and how well they work together. It is a major change and big-time upheaval so it will always have a negative impact on the child (unless the home is so horrible or abusive that it's a relief when it happens). There will be hurt, anger, mourning and what is important is how that is dealt with.

Answer 8

Depends completely on the situation and how well the divorced parents handle their relationship with their children. If you feel you are exposing her to a bad influence or there are drugs and/or abuse involved it would keep her from becoming screwed up by staying!

Answer 9

You need to weigh things out
What's worse?
Everyother weekend father
OR
Mom and dad fighting - if that's the case? My parents fought like crazy they got divorced I hated my mom for several years because back then i thought my dad could do no wrong.. and I was WAY off. If you are not happy and have tried working it out and you don't love him anymore then run while you can. No sense of staying in a loveless marraige ( if that's what it is)
good luck

Answer 10

If you think you can and you guys go to marriage counseling or find a way to compromise if is not abuse in the relation please think that your girl will suffer But if she see you guys arguing all the time she will suffer worse! And she will learn from you how love is What will make you stay married? You will be happier IF YOU KNOW YOU TRY EVERYTHING? If you did tried and he do not participate than divorce Ya she will suffer but when she see you guys fitting she waiting for disaster ready to happen every and each time Do not argue when she is there God be with your family God lock!

Answer 11

Messed up relationships and being around fake love messes up children. If you love your child then she'll be fine. Do not under any circumstances talk bad about her father in front of her. Please make sure divorce is what you want. It does have an affect on your daughter but why put her through it if it isn't necessary. Stay strong.