in a nut shell: wife had three miscarries, went through invetro the last one. left me for another man, while she was still pregant with the planned baby.(which she miss carried). Got pregant with new guy and had a natural birth when told she couldnt. left him and she wants me back. Got divorced because she wanted it, i feel it was hormones and the stress of three miscarries that caused her to make poor choices. She cost me alot of money and heartache. But i love her. she left the father of her baby and we are trying to work it out. Am i crazy or do i put my heart first.
2007-08-31 15:55:58 · 13 answers · asked by jobu 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It sounds to me like she doesn't know what she wants. What i do not hear is the timing of all of these events. If all of this has taken place over many years, then it would allow some room to reconsider taking her back but not for immediate remarriage.
Take care of yourself first. Make sure that you are happy and in turn, the she will be, if you choose to be with her.
Noone can really tell you what to do and noone can dictate to you what your heart doesn't want to hear. It is hard when you deeply love someone. Sometimes we all allow ourselves to get hurt out of fear that we could never possibly find another or share ourselves with another the way we have with that single special someone.
It sounds to me like you have a big heart with lots of love to give. Think twice about betting all of your hopes on this one. Just remember you were a single person before her, and you can be a single person without her. Don't lose yourself in this relationship.
2007-08-31 16:05:27 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
With the best of intentions any one of us can give you the wrong answer and marriage is too important to just consider the opinions of total strangers as the answers to your dilemma. I will strongly recommend that you talk to a pastor or someone with a great character that can truly help you with your situation.
Divorce is hard. When two people got divorce most times both are to be blame even though it might not seem that way. It is even harder when you have spend many years and you thought you will never end up divorce and your marriage was going to last forever. I know... I got divorce almost 3 years ago and I still feel sometimes feel sad because it was not suppose to be that way.
Talk to someone who can really help you. People change. Also talk to her and make sure that she has truly change. If you see any signs that she is still the same, well, then you have to seriously consider if you want to expose yourself again. GBY and your family.
2007-08-31 23:18:35 · answer #2 · answered by Belle 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When the head and the heart fight, the heart always wins - but that's not always best.
What's stopping her from changing her mind tomorrow and deciding the baby needs to be around it's natural father every day?
It's true she may have been under great stress, but she could have taken action back then to relieve some of that stress and chose not to. We all make decisions - sometimes our decisions have consequences. Don't let her off the hook just because she *loves* you again.
If you're not already in counseling, insist on it or tell her she needs to leave you alone for good.
You can't fix your problems if you're not both working on it - and obviously it's not something you can fix on your own, or you would have already done that.
2007-08-31 23:08:43 · answer #3 · answered by Roland'sMommy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well...not all women are the same so she may either hurt you again..or maybe she is really sorry for what she did. BUT! To prove a point...you shouldn't be there with open arms as soon as she is ready to come back. You should take it at ease for a little while. If you want to give her a second chance then take it slow. She will then see what you are about! Good Luck!!
2007-08-31 23:05:27 · answer #4 · answered by Shorty06 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No your not nuts your heart wants what it wants forget what some people are telling you, you live your life the way you want.You love her and that is what counts not that other guy just you your soon to be wife again and the baby. Are you happy now that she is back if so then you have your answer sir.
2007-08-31 23:30:14 · answer #5 · answered by Teenie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you take her back, it would be wise to go to some marriage counseling before you re-marry her.
People work out crazier things than this all the time, but I wouldn't NOT go to counseling. You all have had a lot of grief in your lfie, you need to examine it with some help.
2007-08-31 23:03:13 · answer #6 · answered by jreba_family 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you okay of raising someone else's child? Are you okay of having this other guy in your life? (he must have some visiting rights). If she is really sorry for leaving you in first place, if she is really putting an effort to get your forgiveness and if she really loves you and never stopped loving you, then give her a second chance.
2007-08-31 23:03:33 · answer #7 · answered by terliuke 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Answering your question: If I am in that situation, I never come back with her.But you are a different person,with different feelings,so,is all up to you.whatever make you happy indeed,that you need to do.Good luck.Good question.
2007-08-31 23:08:38 · answer #8 · answered by cobrasnake 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
do you still love her? i guess she doesnt love you anymore but you dont derserve this kinda bad misstreatment . if i were you id tell her straitght to her face that how much pain you have been through and if that doesnt help never see her again it is for every1s good. and maybe find someone else that doesnt ditch her husband for a jerk
2007-08-31 23:10:17 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Looks like you have already decided to go with her. Sounds like it's worth doing to me. Things worth having all cost a lot one way or the other.
2007-08-31 23:03:28 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋