Husband addicted to porn. Help!?

Question

My husband is always on the computer looking at porn...and I mean ALWAYS. He even yells at me if I go into the room to clean or get something. I don't have anything against porn, and I understand that men love to watch it, but it is ruining his life. He'll stay up till 4 in the morning (he wakes me up when he climbs into bed) when he has to go to work at 10 the next day. I give him sex plenty, once a day, sometimes twice. I am currently 5 months pregnant and recently had an eating disorder. He says I'm very "sexy" and "hot", but I can't help but start to hate the way I look. I am so close to restricting my calories and over exercising, but I want to be healthy for my unborn baby. It's ruining my self esteem, and I feel hopeless. I just want to make him happy and he does not stop! What can I say to him? Please help?

I'm more of the reserved, gentle, and loving type, so I was looking for a way I could talk to him without just a "I hate you! Get out!" response. Although I've thought of it plenty of times.

Answer 1

How do women lose control over their husbands and by control i mean letting your husband do what he dam well pleases.Isn't marriage suppose to be 50/50 give and take so why would you let him watch porn for that long and to make it more disgusting then it all ready is he gets in bed with you but in his head he is really f u c k i n g a woman he has been watching suck d i c k for hours.I don't know somehow that just doesn't feel right to me.If you are OK with that then who am i to tell you that it's wrong.When i catch my husband I'll go right behind him and hide everything he just downloaded in his computer.He doesn't know i do that so when he looks for it he won't dare ask me if i was in his computer because that would be like telling on himself.Another thing i will not have sex with him after i know he has been watching porn because i know he isn't with me mentally and i don't like that. If i have to be with him after all these years the least he can do is suffer with me. lol

Answer 2

You should stop starving yourself because you are not affecting your own body but also your unborn baby! You can do whatever you want with your own body after the baby is born but now you have a great responsibility here.

You are right. Your husband has an addiction to porn and it is affecting everyone's life. It's nothing personal, it's not about you or him, or you together. You should not blame yourself or try to "beat" the porn with your own sex life. You will never succeed. What you should do instead, you need to look up information about porn addiction and contact a help line. Ask them what you should do because your loved one is sick and he needs help. You should treat it as a sickness or as any other addiction as as alcohol addiction. He might resist at first but he needs to get some help. And you have to help him because he is your husband and he is in need of someone's help. Try to contact people who went through this already and ask them for advise.

Be strong! Stay and eat healthy for the sake of your baby.

Answer 3

Join him with watching the porn. Don't nag or gripe about it. Especially don't diet or do anything to damage the baby.
Maybe if you join him and he has an orgasm or two early in the evening it would take away the desire to stay up so late. Try to set aside some time to watch together and then have sex, you can control it better by setting a time limit.

Answer 4

Ok, if u think positive, it's still good. Why? At least he is not fooling around when you are pregnant, still stick with you.

There is one way you can reduce having sex by scaring him, say according to the doctor, you have to stay very healthy and the baby needs a calm and lovely environment in you. tell him "If you love me and your baby, try to reduce your desire, that's for the sake of the baby, too". Probably just don't have an intercourse, there are still many ways to do it. Or ask him to do lots of sports to stay healthy or other heavy activities so he won't have energy to do it anymore. Good luck.

Answer 5

Hi!

First off, since you are pregnant, you should be eating for two people, not trying to restrict yourself from it. You also shouldn't do too much hard physical things. That could compromise your baby's life. (I know this because my cousin is a nurse and she's told the girls in my family that - when they were pregnant). Also, you must be really attractive for a man to stay with you, especially when your pregnany. Most guys would have taken off by now. So don't worry about your appearence. ^_^ Just because your belly is getting bigger, it's not going to ruin your life. After you have your baby, you can lose all the weight you put on and tone up - maybe take your husband with you (you know, to get him out of the house with you?).

Your husband watching porn has nothing to do with you or what you look like. He's been doing it for years before he met you - but now he has a family and needs to cut back. Like I said before, he has a beautiful wife (YOU) so what else does he need. ^_^

Now, about the porn. Your husband has to realize that you both are having a baby in a few months and that he can't be exposing your child to that. It may not seem like it, but kids are smart..even at the age of 3 or 4, they will start talking to random people saying things like "My daddy likes looking at naked girls." or things like that - so you should tell him to cut back - ALOT.

This is what I think: Tell your husband he can look at as much porn as he wants UNTIL the baby comes. Tell him to get it out of his system and that when the baby comes, you don't want to see him on it during the day, night or whenever. Tell him you want it limited to 1 or 2 hours at night when the child is sleeping and to make sure he spends time with you! Afterall, you are his wife, and why look at porn when he could have a beautiful wife next to him in bed. ^_^

If he doesn't stop, tell him you both have to go to counselling for it, and if he doesn't cut back or or atleast not do it everyday, then tell him you have 3 choices.

1.) Cut back on the porn for good.
[You have a child to raise and shouldn't be exposing him/her to that in the early ages of his/her life.]

2.) You will take the computer away or get the internet disconnected until he learn how to act his age and not his shoe size

3.) You will leave him (temporarily) with the child and go stay somewhere (like with your mom) until he cut back on the porn.

So yeah - there you have it. Make sure he knows that you BOTH have to raise this child, and not in a "disgraceful" or "embarassing" house.

Hope this helped.

Love Shelley <3

PS

Do you know what kind of PORN your husband watches? Maybe you should ask him and find out - NICELY. If you ask him nicely it will look as if you are interested in one of his hobbies, so then when he tells you what kind he likes, maybe you and him could actually DO the kind of sex/porn that he likes in real life...then I'm sure he would stop looking to the internet to find what he wants and he'll start looking to you for it. ^_^ Good luck!

Answer 6

Get him some help and have him see a therapist. Do it with love and understanding. I know its hard but stand by your man. Can you imagine having such a compulsion? Life has to literally be horrible for him. Good luck to you and your family:)

Answer 7

If he is truly addicted to porn to the point that it is ruining his life and yours, he need medical help like any other addiction. However like most addictions, he has to admit it is a problem before treatment will help.

Answer 8

Husband addicted to porn. Help!?

Answer 9

He is probably telling you the truth that you are very hot to him. He is just addicted to porn and that is why he gets upset when you get close to it. He is afraid that you will tell him to stop and he can't handle that right now. If he didn't think that you were hot and sexy still you wouldn't be getting it every day.

Answer 10

Honey, I think you have a porn addiction and it's ruining our marriage. If you want our marriage to last, we need to go to an addiction counselor. Then your husband will say, "I don't need counseling, I don't have an addiction, mind your own business." Then that will tell you how important you are to him and how much he respects you. You will continue to feel your self-esteem going into the toilet until you get sick of it and file for divorce.