2007-08-31 13:41:33 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I met this guy 7 years ago, since we've been together he's done nothing but lie to me, cheat on me and disrespect me. We then became born again Christians, wherer the pastor insisted we get married. We did. He continued to do the same thing getting caught time after time. And now, he has a 2 year old daughter from his infidelity and we are seeking marriage counseling through our church, but I'm not sure I want to save this marriage. He would have never confessed to me, but he got caught?
2007-08-31 13:48:21 · update #1
For a Christian he's taking a big chance on going to hell, which I might add be deserves if you believe in that.
You need to sit down and seriously consider what you want, now is the time to stop listening to those who are telling you to stay with him, unless of course that is what you want.
You deserve better than this, you deserve someone who loves you, who wants you and who can stay faithful to you, if he truly loved you he would not be hurting you. Think about what you want to do, and do it, do not let anyone talk you round from what you want.
Remember the man who is worth your tears, will not make you cry.
2007-08-31 14:48:43 · answer #1 · answered by portly_pumpkin 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It doesn't given your situation. It's too bad you had a pastor who insisted on the two of you getting married, because it was obviously bad from the beginning. No, you shouldn't stay in this type of relationship; this is not what God intended. The man is a creep with a track record a mile long. You can't change that and he's not remorseful. So, in my opinion, you are far better off seeking the advice of an attorney and getting out of this marriage before you get older. Start over. Find yourself a man with a good character who you can really trust.
2007-08-31 20:54:25 · answer #2 · answered by Sondra 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Im not sure, but someone should come out and tell the truth, whoever is at fault needs to just come out and say the truth...
My grandmother had 5 kids, all fro mthe same father, or so she told everyone...
My uncle (the first child) didnt know until he was 45, CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT!!! Now he doesnt speak to her, his real father didnt even want to talk tohim, and i think he pasted away now... But isnt that sick, and she was going to take the secret to her grave, but now it has caused nothing but family problems, all the way down to me and my kids....
There is no better way to set something straight thatn to just do it get it over with and tell the truth....And the end result, well good or bad that person deserves it, and should be ready for whatever comes along.
2007-08-31 20:47:02 · answer #3 · answered by rockgirlfury 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All wounds take time to heal. Some can forgive but cannot forget, others cannot forgive.
You need to decide what you want out of this? If you don't want to give it 100% then in the end the marriage will fail regardless.
2007-08-31 20:50:34 · answer #4 · answered by MJ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If I were you, I'd run and call it quits.
It was a HUGE mistake to marry him, since he obviously is not a born-again Christian. If he really was one, he would have changed his lying, cheating ways. And he hasn't.
So...You are off the hook. God gave us brains and free will so we could use them adequately. He doesn't want us to be in miserable, unhealthy relationships. Think about what is the best for you and your kid. This guy sounds like trouble...and he won't change. GET OUT ...! And reclaim your life.
2007-08-31 21:37:12 · answer #5 · answered by Nena S 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The ONLY way is to put the past, in the past.
And work on the present and the future.
We can't change the past, but we can learn from it.
And if you can't learn from it, then forget about it.
Work on building a "new" relationship, start from the beginning and make that beginning now.
Work on making a wonderful present, and a bright future together.
If that's not possible to do, then you may have to re-look at things and wonder if it's even meant to be ? :{
2007-08-31 20:45:39 · answer #6 · answered by MommaBear 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dump the liar.
He'll continue to cheat on you because he never has respected you. You can easily find somebody better. He's going to have to start paying child support now. Do you want the burden of his infidelity?
Once a cheater, always a cheater.
Good luck.
2007-08-31 20:52:54 · answer #7 · answered by BaldTom 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Well your almost there in leaving him. Just go ahead and don't waste no more time in your life. You have wasted enough time. My personal suggestion is that you have to start taking care of yourself because there ain't no one out here who is going to do this for you. You are in denial trying to resolve what is impossible to resolve. You have a good heart. Way to good in the assumption that in the very near future that things will change. Sorry to rain on your parade sweet heart.
But things won't change.
2007-08-31 21:41:29 · answer #8 · answered by Onin 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you got married for all the wrong reasons. Either stay or leave for all the right ones and time will take care of the rest.
2007-08-31 21:09:11 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You weren't too smart marrying in the first place.
Your just going to spend all your time trying to save a marriage that is nil.
I hope you kick his butt to the curb. And learn to pick the next guy in a different fashion. You deserve better.
2007-08-31 20:51:20 · answer #10 · answered by peggin_beast 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋