My wife is always against me, whatever I say ! What should I understand ?

Question

My wife is always against me ! no matter what the discussion is, she always wants to have the last word, she always wants to be right... extending this to some obvious nonsenses !
She even views things that work well being the fruit of here work, and when it doesn't she attributes it to me !!!

Funnily she is very shy in public and is almost always silent, here degree of affirmation in public has nothing to do with the one she has with me !
On the other hand I tend to be rather talkative and convincing ... publicly.

She tells me that she feels well with me, this is why ...
I accept this to a certain extent ... but i still wish here to develop a bit more aggressivity in public and to be a bit more submissive with me !!

What should i understand in here attitude ?
How can I change this ?
Is soemething wrong in the relation ?

Thanks

Answer 1

first, realize that you can't change her. you can; however, change how you react to her. you seem to know her pattern/behavior pretty well. so, stop expecting something different.

let her have the last word. don't keep battling with her and fighting for the last word. she probably wishes that she were more talkative and assertive in public, but since she isn't she needs to get this fulfilled elsewhere. that ends up being you.

don't get sucked into this. state your opinion and move on. it is impossible to have a fight alone, so if you pull out of the fight she will also have to retreat as well. as long as you combat her, you are fostering the adversarial atmosphere.

after a while of YOUR new behavior, she should begin to feel that she has to be less adversarial and you should notice a change.

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Answer 2

One guy above me had it right, you aren't responding to her training and should have done a better job.

I'll take it one step further, it continues because you are constantly rebelling against it. There is no understanding of her really except for this, us men are taught to do any and everything to keep your woman happy, and should be privileged to be able to do that, even at the expense of yourself.

Solutions?? Well, sounds like you've tried to talk it out with her, I would go in the other direction and just be quiet about it for a while, give her no ammunition and let her bring it up and when she does just listen, give no input for a while. I know this sounds like a bad idea, but by doing this you give her chance to listen to herself, because it sounds like she's in it for the arguments.

It's also less work on your part, try it for a while and you will see some surprising changes. Sometimes doing the unexpected has remarkable results.

Answer 3

its pretty obvoius, she has a hard time expressing how she really feels in a daily situation. you wife needs to work out something (take a class, read a book, something) in order to better handle conversations with the general public. every time she doesnt give her opinion to somebody else and keeps it inside, it's one more time that she is going to get mad or vent at your for no real reason. Yes it is because she feels comfortable with you but that shouldnt mean you are always at the other end of an argument. Try this book...

Answer 4

Since she is so quiet and shy to everyone else. Maybe she takes out all her feelings she holds back, out on you!! It also sounds like she is bit of a ******...I would seriously have a talk with her and tell her how u feel about this. I dont know if there is something wrong in the relationship, I do know that if it keeps bothering you that there soon will be...so I would get it taken care of as soon as you can!!

Answer 5

Let me guess - you've been married somewhere between 7 and 10 years ?

Its a normal - "I should have you trained better" response and the "how come you don't KNOW what I what / need you to do ALL the time." that creeps into the relationship.

You need to sit down and talk about it sometime (when not in the heat of the moment). remind her that you must not be ALL bad - she chose to marry you - remember?

Often, women will take out on their guy those things they wish were different, but they can't control. Its all about control (especially for women) in our society these days.

Just try and talk it out. Otherwise - you can just try to ignore her. Its not a solution, but you only have to "own" the fault if you allow her to place the blame on you.

Answer 6

It may be because she is quiet in public. She afrain with stangers but knows she can dominate you. I see it work the other way too. The wife's quiet with the hubby but in public is agressive and mean.

If I had an answer for you I'd be a millonare!

Answer 7

The fact that she is submissive in public is good. You dont want your wife treating you like a....punk(?) in front of people so at least she respects you enough to keep it private. As far as her demeanor at home, if you feel like she is disrespecting you then you should tell her that. I can be kind of overpowering myself and my husband had to tell me...'this makes me feel disrespected' and 'when you do that, do you realize it makes me feel put down'..stuff like that. I can almost guarantee she's clueless because we dont see the same things men do as offensive. You also need to bring God into your marriage so that there is a greater understanding of what biblical marriage is supposed to look like. Publicly and privately. That and some open communiation and you will be fine.

blessings!

Answer 8

What did you do to her?

What should i understand in here attitude ?
1. That everyone is different


How can I change this ?
2. You can't

Is something wrong in the relation ?
3. your complaining and trying to change her to meet your expectations....

Answer 9

She takes you for granted and doesn't respect you. I'll bet if you did that to her. She would be gone in a flash.

No point talking to her because if your feelings differ to hers, they will be WRONG!

Answer 10

Go ahead and let her have the last word.

We'll save a spot for you at the bar.