I am a married girl and having a small kid and I am deeply involved with a guy who is 9 years elder than me and who is married with 2 small kids.We really understand eachother better than our spouses.My hubby hurts me emotionally every time and he has promised me 2 times that he will change but he keeps on hurting me degrading my character even before when I didnt have anything with anybody.This guy I love is married for 20 years and he is married to her not because of love but because of fear,She always threatens him like goign to jump from the balcony with the kids or even before marriage she used to bang him and threaten him saying she is going to jump from the subway and etc.I have seen with my own eyes how sge treats him and humiliates him in front of his relations and family .She yells and talks very rudely while this guy is bearing up everything.Nowadays we have planned to settle things with our partners and trying to get a divorce so we can move on and live together.willit work
2007-08-31 11:44:33 · 18 answers · asked by pinkgirl 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Adultress! You were obviously not mature enough to get married in the first place, grow up!
2007-08-31 11:49:09 · answer #1 · answered by Winter Glory 7 · 3⤊ 2⤋
Honestly - whether or not it will work is a moot point. You are each married to other people. Sure you can each file for a divorce - will your current spouses give you one? Will they contest and put you and your family through hell in the process? I understand you aren't happy in an abusive (mental, emotional, physical abuse is still abuse) relationship - get out if you can, but do Not jump into another relationship. Give yourself time to heal. And if the guy you're seeing is truly unhappy, he would have left a long time ago instead of spending 20 years with his wife. He could use the excuse that he's waiting for the kids to grow up - sounds like he needs to grow up. If my spouse threatened to harm my kids, I'd take those kids and split and file charges so fast you wouldn't believe it. I would Not wait around and keep my spouse happy hoping for the best!
If after you've been divorced a good year or more you meet someone that treats you and your kids well, then more power to you. But don't count on it being this guy. And above all - seek the help of a counselor whether you stay or file for divorce. It will help you to have a non-biased opinion from someone educated in assisting marriages.
2007-08-31 19:22:59 · answer #2 · answered by Lady Ariana 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why would you think this relationship would work? I believe that you both find comfort and escape from your own realities and therefore you both have something solid wrong. It's one thing to have support during a unhappy marriage. However, there other concerns that take a higher presidents and thats your child's best interest and welfare. You both need to ask Jesus Christ to come in your lives to guide and lead you down the journey of life that is design for you both individually. What God has design for you may not be with this new guy and should have probably never been with your current spouse. However you can not change what has happen in the past. But in order to move forward into healthier lifestyle only Jesus have the answer for you and this other guy.
If you're being a abuse and in fear of your life you to contact the police and a safe shelter. At any rate I think that you're decision need to be spiritual base and not from your emotions or physical needs. God Bless
2007-08-31 20:04:31 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are so deeply in love with this other man then
consider this! What is he giving you that your husband isn't ?
and why are you allowing yourself to be degraded in this fashion ? Being the cause of a 20 year marriage break up well dear if he hasn't done it yet chances are he wont AND if he does do you really want that type of man ?
You say you have a small child with your "now" husband..there is this child to think of also.
Step away from both men and look to improving your self esteem..and you will find that you will tell both men to as the Aussies say " bugger off " lol ..
2007-08-31 20:45:08 · answer #4 · answered by MrsDave 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should have never gotten involved with another man if you were already married. No, it will not work because when something begins wrong, it ends wrong. You are just in an unhappy situation at home and looking for comfort from somebody who also appears to be a bad situation at home. I can tell you without even knowing this guy that I am about 99.9 percent sure that he won't leave his wife. He is just using you for sex right now because he's probably bored with his wife. Think about your kid(s) and, no offense, get your head out of of your butt and back on your shoulders.
2007-08-31 18:58:02 · answer #5 · answered by Amethyst 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nope, it won't work because your relationship with this man is based on deceit. If you can't be with someone in a open and honest fashion, it never works. I don't blame you for wanting to leave an abusive situation, but I doubt that your lover will leave his wife. He may give you verbal B.S. that he's going to leave, but there won't be any follow through. If this guy really loved you, he would have already jumped at the chance to get out of his relationship fast, especially if it is as crazy as you claim. At best, he's just stringing you along for sex as long as he possibly can.
2007-08-31 21:33:36 · answer #6 · answered by Sondra 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are sad and no it won't work because God will curse the both of you. Why don't you fix your marriage and leave the other woman's marriage alone. I don't even know why I bother giving you this information but if you decide to grow up here are two books to save YOUR marriage Love and Respect and Cracking the Communication Code both by emmerson eggrich buy the cd's online at loveandrespect.com
2007-08-31 21:09:00 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
my sister~he has been married for 20 years...meaning he was with her before the kids came along. Whatever he has been through it hasnt been so bad that he felt the need to leave before now so Im hesitant to think that its going to change. Marriage is about forgiveness. He has obviously forgiven and loved his wife through a bunch of things. You dont sound as forgiving of your own husband. Im curious to know how you SEE her mistreating him IN FRONT of family. Who are you to them to have that sort of access? All that aside, biblically, this is just wrong. Wrong for you to have ever turned to another man when you were having issues in your own marriage. When you cant fix it with your spouse you get GOD in it and let HIm work on it. Cheating only compounds the problem and sin always leads to death...not happy endings.
My husband and I will lift you both in prayer~
2007-08-31 19:09:21 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Did it ever cross your mind that dating is different than marriage? When you date you are all lovey dovey...when you get married then you have the boring talk...like...did you pay this bill...hey I need this shirt cleaned. You have to make dinner...well you know the routine. Plus if you marry a cheater...well...who is to say that he will not cheat on you? My husband cheated on me then I gave him a second chance. Then he cheated again...I said forget it. Once I moved out he told my lawyer that there was no way he would cheat again. I told my lawyer forget it. Once a cheater always a cheater...it is like a smoking...it is hard to quit! They enjoy the newness of a relationship. It wasn't that I was ugly or mean. It was just that he loved that newness feeling. I wish you luck with your decision.
2007-08-31 19:02:04 · answer #9 · answered by hard rock girl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey listen to yourself....If he were married to his wife out of fear then he would have went to the police to inform them of the behavior his wife is displaying and threatning to do to herself and the kids. Secondly, if your marriage is not working and you have emotional baggage what makes you think you are not going to go into a relationship with this man without any baggage. Step back and do some self evaluation honey...If your husband is not giving you what you need seek couseling before seeking another man! Good luck
2007-08-31 19:49:21 · answer #10 · answered by Flyyasever 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well you can now call yourself a homewrecker. You need to immediately get out of your current marriage because it's obviously not what you want in life. You know though if this guy you supposedly love is cheating on his wife, don't you realize he will cheat again in the future and it could be on you. goodluck with that.
2007-08-31 20:15:32 · answer #11 · answered by MJ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋