Would you be upset?

Question

I am home with the kids during the day and my DH has said, "don't yell at my kids" in front of our kids on two occasions. The first time was a while back and I was in tears. I contemplated staying with him or not. This last time he said it and my daughter who was watching the whole thing, not more than a few feet away- got a wry look on her face when he said it. I felt like she was thinking, "uh-oh. How you going to deal with this one, Mom?"

Ever since then I have been contemplating a way out. It's been 7 years and he berates me in front of the kids and never apologizes for this behavior.

I need to add that we have had many problems over the years. We have 3 kids together, but I am becoming even more horrified how he treats me. He has said shutup to me so many times I can't even count....I feel like the kids are not taking me seriously anymore.

Everyone should becareful ~ To encourage someone to leave their marriage after hearing one side of an issue is not what I would encourage.
MY version. I am a first grade school teacher and had meetings all day then a staff get together after. I called her to see how her day was and ask if it were okay to go. She explained her day was good and that I should go to the social. After the social I called her and she asked me to bring home milk bread fruit. After getting these items she called and asked me to go get her jewlery stuff from her friend. Which I did. Her friend and her husband said I should stay for a beer while she got the stuff ready for my wife. After I came home. She was very upset and expressed it scolding me that I was so late and that I needed to come home earlier to give her a break from the kids. I agreed. Our three year old daughter tries to interupt our arguement. And she screams at her.I told her not to scream at her when she is mad at me. What did she do

Answer 1

then you need to grow a spine. get a job...get out. stand up to your husband. he maybe your husband but he is not your boss, he doesn't own you...yet you refuse to do anything about it for fear of his temper. i say get a job...you need to have your own life. being a stay at home mom...you run the risk of losing your financial security if your husband leaves you. and that's not fair to you or your children. get a job...get a life...anything but at home. if he berates you in front of the kids then he is just as game. give him a taste of his own medcine and see how he likes that.

Answer 2

That's right if your husband has no respect for you, your children won't either.

Get into counseling and your children too. You need to learn how to be assertive and stop being abused by him. His abusing you is the same as abusing your children. You can't change him, but you can change what you are doing and what you will accept from him.
But you must get all the knowledge you can about abusers and abusee's. This can escalate into physical abuse. That is when it gets really dangerous. It can even become lethal.

Do something now. Call a counselor and a family lawyer find out everything you can to defend your self from the evil attacks of your husband.

He should be treating you like a fragile vessel filled with fine wine, he should be building you up not tearing you down, he should back you up with the children, not undermine your authority.He is disrespecting you and his children. Only you can put a stop to it. Be brave don't sit there and take it one minute longer. You deserve so very much better from your husband.

Answer 3

Get out of the marriage as soon as you can and keep the kids. If it keeps going like this, eventually he will become physically abusive. Your kids will end up physically abusive too! just because of watching their dad. Also they will lose respect to you and will start talking the same way as your DH does. Get out of it!

Answer 4

Leave this "thing". Your kids should not be going thru this abuse. They will get traumatized and think this is the way to talk to you or any woman. Get help from a woman's center or help from your family. Just get away from this abuser and when your settled file for divorce. This person doesn't deserve you or his children.

Answer 5

Unfortunately, your children are picking up on the disrespect that he shows to you and the low opinion of yourself that you obviously have to allow it. Your children want to respect you, but how can they if you allow anyone, even some one you love, to bully you.

For your sake and your children's, let your husband know that you will no longer tolerate his abusive behavior. If it continues, consult a lawyer about getting out of the marriage and making sure that he provides for your children.

Answer 6

and that is a fact they already know that you can say nothing to them without him being stupid and treating you like you dont know any thing. that is the very worst thing he can do in front of the kids is to call you down its letting them know that you have no authority over them. you should get out of there and raise you kids the right way it sounds like to me he has no respect for you anyway.

Answer 7

He should be working w/ you, not against you. Have you discussed this with him? If hes not willing to change, maybe you should leave him. Hes not respecting you. And if he keeps this up the kids wont either. To answer your question, yes I would be very upset.

I agree w/ the first answer, you will have to get a job.

Answer 8

You shouldn't be yelling at the children. That is no way to parent effectively. If all you do is yell at them how can you expect them or your husband to respect you? You need parenting classes to learn how to discipline your children rather than yell at them.

Answer 9

he is just so wrong to be doing that in front of the kids you need to stand up for yourself if you haven't cause i know i would. something needs to change whether him or you

Answer 10

if you don't get out of that situation now your kids are going to grow up thinking its ok to mistreat women and show no respect.they look up to US as parents for whats right and wrong and this is so wrong for them to see and hear.