How do you feel about naming children after family?

Question

A friend of mine is going to have a little girl soon and they are going to name her Lola Pearl. Lola after her sister, and Pearl because that's my friend's middle name and has been the middle name of every 1st born daughter in her family for the last 7 generations. The funny thing is, she doesn't even like these two names, but she loves her little sister (who's alive by the way, it's not like she's memorilizing her). And she's always hated her middle name being Pearl. Even now. But she says it's "tradition."

So how do you feel about that? Would you name your child something you don't even like just for the sake of a family tradition? What if it was your spouse's family's tradition and not yours? Would you let him/her name your child something you hated?

Answer 1

My son's middle name is Arthur. Its a family name from my husbands side. His father and grandfather are both named arthur and it is my husbands middle name. Although i'm not crazy about the name arthur I felt okay about it being his middle name...i NEVER would've agreed to do it as a first name though :)

If I was your friend I would consider doing two middle names (Pearl and Lola) and pick a first name I love. Or just make her sister the godmother of the baby and leave it at that. A name is forever!

Answer 2

No. The only way I would give the child a family name that I hated is if a great big cash present was going to be given by the family upon the arrival of another little Mini Pearl.
I am all for giving kids their own identity. In the Jewish religion, it is bad luck to name a new baby after a living relative. It is almost like hastening the death of the living relative. The Chinese do not name children after living or dead relatives and they are very family oriented people, too.
If your friend always hated the name Pearl, then she knows how her kid will feel. She could just tell everyone that the kid is named Pearl and go ahead and put whatever she and the father please on the official birth certificate. No offense, but Lola sounds like a stripper's name.

Answer 3

I think following a "tradition" for a middle name is fine (we've done this in my family a bit), but first name is not fine and not really acceptable, especially generation after generation of juniors, III, IV, etc. I hate it. And no, if her sister is alive, no, they should not name the baby after her! If anything, drop the name Pearl and make Lola the middle name, and a more original first name just for the baby.

Answer 4

I think if Pearl has been used that often it is an honor to continue to use it. If it's Lola after her sister - and her sister's name is actually Lola (not something close to Lola) and her sister is still alive that's kind of odd. Usually you wouldn't want a child and their aunt to have the same name.

Answer 5

Well if it was a tradition then I would only if it was middle name. As for the first name, if I liked it I would. If my little sisters name was that and I didn't like it. I would try like Lily. Something close to Lola.

Answer 6

Family traditions are great, but only if you like them! No child should be given a name her parents do not like! I would just try to make a compromise... maybe use the middle name, but change the first.. or give the child two middle names!

Answer 7

i say whoevers child it is should be the one that names the child, although this will surely cause her family some problems, if she could live with it she should name the child what she wants, you know a friend of mine her family has a tradition that she started when she named her children and her brother and sisters followed suit, they all have named their children starting with the letter S her brothers wife was on her 3 child and decided to go outside tradition , you cant do anything the parents name their child not the whole family, tell friend good luck and i wish her well

Answer 8

My husbands family has a tradition of naming the boys in their family either Adam, Christopher, James, or Eric...particularly in some combination.
However, he and I decided not to follow that tradition with our twins, but rather to give them names that were all their own.
My family has a habit of naming the last-born child after my mother's father in some way (which is difficult because his name was Eugene, and there's only so many variations of that for girls).
Again, we chose not to follow that tradition either.

Personally, to me it's a question of what is more important to you...having a name for your child that you like and they won't hate (hopefully) or following a family tradition.
Each family should make their own traditions, but that doesn't mean those that are made should be set in stone.

Answer 9

I hate the idea of naming children after people in your family, unless you just really love the name or that person really means a lot to you. I guess what I hate the most is "juniors". Naming your baby is one of the most fun parts of having a baby, and having that taken away from you because of a tradition is ridiculous. I think that parents should give their children an original name, one that is all their own.

Answer 10

None of my children will ever have the same name as anyone on either side of the family - first OR middle. Even if it was my husband's family tradition, I wouldn't do it.

I asked my now husband when we were only dating for a couple of months if he expected a son to be named after him, and luckily he gave the right answer - no. He mentioned he would like a son to have his first name as a middle name, and I've kinda put the kabosh on that one....