told me so, but he says he is hurt and nothing is going to change his mind but over the last few weeks he's been coming around more, how should I act I really want to fix things between us. Some people tell me to act like i don't care and act as if everything is great without him, others tell me to keep apologizing and be extremely nice to him. Which one is the best advice?
2007-08-31 09:41:28 · 12 answers · asked by beba 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
No I have never cheated on him, I think that since we have been together for 10 years and we have three children he has just been overwhelmed, he has been working since he was 16 and we got married when he was 17 and he has been supporting us and taking care of us this whole time, i think that maybe he wanted to leave responsibility behind for a while.
2007-08-31 10:08:06 · update #1
Don't apologize a lot. Basic psychology shows the people want what they can't have. Think scarcity mentality. If someone else might get it before me I better snap it up. I don't mean for you to act like you have someone on the side, but don't make yourself too available. Next time he calls, get off the phone a bit too soon. When he wants to stop over be vague and say you have to go you have some things to do. Tell him how you feel but don't get overly emotional. Give him time and space and take it very slowly.
2007-08-31 10:27:22 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I say act like everything is fine without him. Even if he is hurt, that doesn't mean the feelings aren't there. He is afraid of being hurt again, and that's why he isnt going to change his mind. Not sure what led to the divorce, but maybe if you talk to him, or even try counseling, it could at least heal the pain and maybe get you back on the right track.
2007-08-31 10:09:55 · answer #2 · answered by You can do it!! 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you really want to be with him than take the opportunity and try and work things out. I am kinda in the same boat. My hubby and i took a break a few months ago and he kept coming around wanting to get back together so we did. things are good now but i still think i should have spent more time alone before coming back so quick. Dont give up if its something you want to save, but also ask yourself if its what you want and if its worth saving.. good luck
2007-08-31 09:58:06 · answer #3 · answered by loststar 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Neither one. If you still love your husband and would like to work things out, then you just need to simply tell him that, then see what his response is. Now is not the time to be playing games.
He has already admitted to having feelings for you still. Since he may change his mind about the divorce, be kind and honest with him and yourself. You don't need to chase after him, but certainly be available when he wants to talk. Loving and honest communication between you two may save the marriage.
2007-08-31 09:55:03 · answer #4 · answered by jules 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Neither is a good answer. Be yourself. If you want the relationship to have any chance at all be who you are, don't "act" either way. If you love him and want him back tell him so but don't drag it out, state it as a fact and go on. If you are willing to wait to see if he will come back, just go on with your normal daily activities for a while but let him know you would like to get back together.
2007-08-31 11:16:32 · answer #5 · answered by ophirhodji 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only thing to do is to talk with him about it and see if you two can come to some kind of mututal agreement about fixing or ending your marriage.
If he is not interesting in fixing things, then there is no point in you holding on and hoping. The best thing you can do at that point is to close that chapter of your life and start a new one.
2007-08-31 09:49:59 · answer #6 · answered by endo_chic 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Honey if you've got to act...then it isn't worth it. The best and truest love is the kind that comes from the heart. Eventually everyone sees through the "acting".
2007-08-31 09:48:02 · answer #7 · answered by gypsy g 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you two have a lot of issues....
Counseling or going to church could help you if BOTH want to try to save this marriage.
2007-08-31 10:04:49 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't act, that's not worth anythignin a marriage. I have to wonder, did you cheat on him?
2007-08-31 10:04:38 · answer #9 · answered by Hikerjoe 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you both want to fix things, then that's what you should do. Don't play games, they don't get you anywhere. Go with what your heart tells you.
2007-08-31 14:12:29 · answer #10 · answered by Sweetie25 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋