Does any one else have a messy husband ?

Question

I love my husband so much but he just can't pick up after himself. He leave his mail all over the house will not put clothes in hamper,leaves cups on table .Never helps with house work ever..I cook and clean. Does any on have any ideas how I can get him to help more? Do you have the same problem?

Answer 1

My husband is horrible! He takes his clothes off and throws them in the floor...... the living room floor, the dining room floor, etc. Never the bedroom floor though! He won't do the dishes, laundry, sweep, dust, anything at all! I've tried several approaches. I've tried nagging. Doesn't work. I've tried asking nicely. Doesn't work. I've tried not doing any house work at all and letting it all pile up and that didn't work either. The only thing I found that worked was this: I made a list of all of the chores that needed to be done daily, weekly, and monthly. Then we divided them up together, each one picking the ones they wanted. I took on more of the chores since I am a stay-at-home mom, so we split them up about 65/35. But if you both work there is no reason why the chores shouldn't be 50/50. But anyways, my husband now actually helps me clean the house. Its amazing!
Hope this helps!

Answer 2

I dont know if you are a stay at home mom but if you are and he makes the money you might give him this example.

He works hard to make to support you financially yes? So lets say he works hard all day and you go out and spend up the whole paycheck in an afternoon shopping spree or you dont keep the budget that he has for the family and it forces him to work harder....how would he like it? He'll probably say he'd feel angry and unappreciated. Then you tell him, thats EXACTLY how he makes you feel when he leaves stuff all over the house that you work so hard to clean-angry and disrespected. You put it in terms that a man can understand and next time he gets ready to leave his clothes on the floor, maybe he'll imagine you going bonkers in Nordstrom Rack and put his stuff in the hamper....

blessings~

Answer 3

When I was married (divorced 2 years ago) I had the same problem with my husband. He was terrible. I always did everything. He acted like I was his mama. Talk to him about it. He may not realize that he is doing it. Ask him to help you with certain things, if he doesn't, he is selfish. My boyfriend now is a little messy sometimes, but if I ask him for help, he is right there. He does the laundry while I am at EMT class and he does the dishes if they need to be done without being asked. Some guys are just messy, and some guys know that it isn't just the woman's job to clean. Good luck.

Answer 4

Don't you love it! Ha,ha. My ex use to leave some of his dirty clothes in the middle of the living room floor, which drove me nuts. One day I took the hamper and I placed it in the middle of the living room where he would leave his clothes. Give it a try and he may get the hint! Another good one a friend did, if he leaves his wet towel anywhere except hanging it on the towel rack (she said her hubby was throwing on the comforter on the bed after taking a shower), take it and put it in his underwear drawer, he will learn that wet underwear sucks and it is easier to hang it back up where it should be!! Be creative with the teaching process!! Probably not too much help, but hey, it is amusing!! Good luck : )

Answer 5

Affirmation right here! My husband is bad too. And he thinks that just because every now and then he lends a finger to help the "needy" the "needy" being myself (I work full time mortgage) that he deserves something. That's okay, he doesn't want to help me, I just cut him off from the goods that you know he can't do without! He started helping out more. No, on a serious note, I just told my husband that he seriously had to start helping me out a little more. His mom was fired when we got married. He's in the military and I do a lot on my own and am used to my independence as he is too, but when he's home I told him that it has to be 50/50, even if he takes the easy chores, I don't care as long as it takes some of the load from me. Something is better than nothing.

Answer 6

My husband is a slob. I love him but he is a slob. I was tired of coming home to a mess. I honestly felt like he was making a jerk out of me as like you I cook, clean, work and I don't feel I should pick up after a grown man. Saying something went in one ear and out the other. So I gave him a choice pick up after yourself and help me or I am getting a cleaning person to come in and you can pay for it. In the beginning she came 1 day a week. He still made a mess so I called her for 2 days a week. Still the same. I then got her 3 days a week. Happy to say he got tired of paying her and picks up after himself.

If that don't work for you then toss everything he leaves out in the garbage he will get the hint of put it away or loose it.

Good Luck

Answer 7

I think most men are that way. And as I have 2 sons myself, I can probably tell you why--I clean up after them. I think as advanced as we are about equal rights or whatever, there is still a little bit of a stereotype about housecleaning, and that it's the woman's job. (We do it better anyway lol). I like to think my kids will grow up to be independent, loving, and will help around the house. But I own up to the fact that I probably don't expect as much from them around the house as I would any daughters I might have had, and that as a husband they may take it for granted that their wife will do the same.

Answer 8

You're not alone, i know exactly how u feel. My husband is the same way, but i did get him to start helping a LITTLE BIT, by letting things pile up and asking for help.he still leaves cups everywhere, but tries to get his clothes in the hamper, (I stopped washing what didnt go in ir near it) and i got him putting his own clothes away when i fold laundry by leaving his on the couch or in a basket on the couch. i just quit 'taking care' of him like that. i hae 3 kids and its hard to make them do their stuff when he wont do his. its something you could try anyway.

Answer 9

oh dear do i ever. i have 3 children who pick up after their selves better. his boots come off somewhere in the living room, shirt at the comp, pants maybe somewhere near the bed. he leaves dishes next to the bed, in the bathroom, at the computer, just where ever he is done with them!! i guess he thinks the magic dish fairy picks them up that night when he goes to bed b/c the next day when he gets home they are gone!! i did try just not picking up after him and thought he would get sick of the dishes and clothes and pick them up. this went on for 1 week he never picked up dishes his cup still was sitting there, his clothes got picked up when he needed clothes for work, those got washed, but not put away, and for the rest of them they were still there. do not try this b/c all it did was make me work harder in the end! apparently men lack the cleaning gene! good luck if you find something that works please let me know!

Answer 10

Get one of those electic shock collars? Follow him around with a trash bag and really mean it? Lock him in the garage and only let him out when company comes?

I'm sure you're going to get a lot of "talk it over" advice, but I trust you've talked until you are blue in the face already. "Live in the garage" sounds like a joke, but if you really want to stayed married to this guy you're going to have work out a way to endure, rather than cure, his "mess blindness". Give him his own entrance, his own bathroom, and fridge so that he keeps out of the rest of the house except for "supervised visits" and stop bickering.