I have bitched too much about this in yahoo answers, but it's really painful and confusing. After two years of being separated my wife has asked me for divorce. We had been seeing each other all these two years and having some kind of relationship. We live in different cities and now she decided we should end it definitively. She even recognizes I'm a good man but she says we're not in the same channel so to speak. I tried to find friends where I live and go out, but didn't find any. Suddenly, she says that we should divorce and not even have contact as friends, which hurt me pretty bad, days later she says: maybe we should talk more about it, I'm afraid to be making a mistake. The back and forth things hurts a lot too. I know I won't find a definitive answer here, but it feels good to just share this... and know other people's thoughts.
2007-08-31 08:13:48 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Something is holding you both back from committing to a decision. Both of you need answers, 6 months of therapy may work, but you need an answer ASAP. Therapy also runs $500-$600 a month.
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2007-08-31 08:49:00 · answer #1 · answered by cmrwash 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
After 24 years of marriage my wife and and i separated in preparation for divorce. We have drifted apart the last five years of the marriage. She had her job and was totally wrapped up in it. which left me more time alone then i carried to be. We were constantly fighting the kids were still living at home she refused to cut the cord on them. And i knew if i stayed it would only get worse. So i moved out and we carried on. over the last two years we have become better friends we know its over but our friendship will remain and the devorce is the final step of and old relationship but at the same time the beginning of a new one and a new life. Having said that i can understand the pain and confusion your feeling. I tried to get back together with my wife the first year and it was apparent she didn't want to. So what to do move on. I think you and your ex need to make the final choice decide on what level of friendship is to be had if any. And get the divorce as soon as possible. Then move on or you'll be suck in your current rut for years to come.
And no one should live like that. It will take honesty and courage but you can do it if you really want to.
2007-08-31 15:38:19 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Beacon - she is asking for the divorce now because she has met someone, and is waivering about going forward. It's scary to start over.
Fact of the matter is, the two of you either have to poop, or get off the pot. You are wasting your lives in limbo.
Get into marriage counseling for 6 months, if by then you have not resolved your issues and get back together as man and wife, you split, and go your seperate ways - for good.
2007-08-31 15:24:16 · answer #3 · answered by allrightythen 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It would appear that both of you are not sure that you want to end your marriage or it would have been done by now. You need to talk some more about your relationship....but don't let her keep you on the fence forever...that isn't fair to you.....Give yourselves a few months to decide if you want to stay together and work on your marriage....if you haven't made that decision within a few months...I think you know that it is time to end your relationship and move on with your own life. Best of luck to you!
2007-08-31 15:26:18 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like it might be better if you guys just wait to file for divorce and just not have contact for awhile and see if you both can leave this relationship knowing that it is done. Take time and communicate with each other.
2007-08-31 15:23:55 · answer #5 · answered by xyz 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Make a clean break and go on with your life. You aren't going to put your all into relocating and finding friends as long as there is a chance you might go back. You need to move on, this isn't a healthy situation for you.
2007-08-31 15:40:38 · answer #6 · answered by ophirhodji 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Its time to move on. She is obviously taking the next step and may have even met someone already. You need to d some serious soul searching as to what is next for you in your life and don't look back because it hurts
2007-08-31 15:26:49 · answer #7 · answered by Frank L 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
She's found her some boom chicky wa wa closer by, but he's giving her the run around therefore she can't quite move forward and she can't move backwards. Let her go, you make that move to break it off once and for all.
2007-08-31 15:28:03 · answer #8 · answered by gypsy g 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Make here get off the fence and make a choice.
Seems like she wants her cake and eat it too.
2007-08-31 15:22:59 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Man it is time to MOVE on. And never talking to her again might help, a lot!
2007-08-31 15:21:28 · answer #10 · answered by Spring 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋