A married man at my office is trying to seduce me...?

Question

I can tell. I've always been sought after by men, but this is different because I feel he's being blatant, though subtle enough so it's only him and I who are aware of this.

Trouble is, i've had a crush on him since before he got married, when I first started working here. He's very attractive and highly established and asserts authority and exhudes confidence, to the point of *********. I'm sure i'm not the only one.

I don't know what's going on in his marriage. It's fairly new. But what if he tries something? Would I be totally wrong to submit to him? After all, he's not my husband, he's hers. And the fault should lie with him, imho.

BTW, I'm not "messing" with him. He is coming onto me. I don't really need to do anything.

And i'm not a sl*t. Thank you. And I can have my own man, before you go there. I am college educated and haven't been intimate with a man in a few months. My choice entirely.

Personally, I would never date him because of what he's doing now. But I can't say i'm not strongly attracted to him. I'm just human. Didn't say I was going to do anything.

I don't have a reputation at all. I'm very quiet, have never dated anyone at work before and no one knows anything about my personal life.

+++++++++++ALERT+++++++++++++

GUYS, THIS WAS PURELY HYPOTHETICAL. THERE IS NO MARRIED MAN. I NEEDED SOME REAL LIFE RESPONSES FOR SOMETHING I'M WRITING. THANK YOU FOR YOUR PARTICIPATION AND TRY NOT TO BE TOO PISSED AT ME.

Answer 1

only a homewrecking hore would go for it his marriage is his problem stay out of it, if i was the wife i shoot both of you

Answer 2

So it sounds like you are just looking to have some hot sex with the guy. I don't advise it, because 1) he's a newlywed, and that can't be good news, but also 2) you work together. That is asking for trouble. One way or another, it will get out and you will be the office sl*t. I know the attraction can be very strong, especially when you haven't had any in awhile. If I were in your shoes, I'm sorry to say, I might cave if I really wanted him that bad. But as an objective person not involved in the situation, it is easy for me to have perspective and see that this is not a good idea. Just my thoughts.

Answer 3

Just ask yourself if you were married, how would you feel if another woman was involved with your husband... regardless of who made the first move? It takes two people to have a relationship and you would be the other person involved in an unfaithful marriage. It is the fault of both parties...not just him.

Please do not act on any advances he may present to you. If his marriage is on the rocks, then wait until he is no longer married. But until then, it will be best for all to leave the situation alone, as tough as it may be given your feelings for him. Best wishes....it will all work out in the end!

Answer 4

These questions were so much easier to answer during the days that people thumped their Bibles more. Since these are modern times. Go ahead and scratch that itch. You will never know how fantastic he might be unless you try. So what about his wife. If she was stupid enough to have married a guy like him, it's her fault. Trouble is..just don't get upset/hurt when he makes a fool out of you with another, besides, so what..he has no commitment (what is that word) to you.

Answer 5

I've been there and done it. It was a long time ago, I've been married 10 years now.

But it was the same scenario: I was single, we worked at the same company, he was a good looking married man with confidence and authority. It was fun while it lasted, however, it was a complete waste of my time. I wouldn't do it again if I had to do it all over. Don't waste your body and time on this guy. It's not worth it. You need to keep a respectable reputation at your job, and he needs to go sniff up some other idiot's skirt.

Answer 6

That 100% wrong. He is married and I agree with Iceman, not to you.
and karmas a bi***. It might come back to you when you get married and have a lot of time and feelings invested in a relationship. Think of someone besides yourself.
I'm sure your not the only one he's messing with.
Also, get over your self. You sound stuck up talking about men are always after you. Obviously they are only after one thing from you. You must have a reputation for putting out, because this married man already found someone he emotionally connects with. He is after your kinda defensive. You asked the question!!
Wow....take some pride in yourself and how you put yourself out there.
If you don't want people putting their honest response to your question maybe you shouldn't ask it.

Answer 7

If you would like being confronted at work by the wife, or maybe falling in love with the man and realizing after a while that he has no intention of leaving his wife for you or any of his other girl friends.
The worst thing I ever experienced was being in love with two woman at the same time, and there was no way to have them both. I was forced to give up one, or I would probably lose them both.
I would be more careful with your own heart and stop thinking everything will be OK! It will not be OK if you go down that road because you will never trust him and he will never trust you.
People do change, and you have a chance to change without breaking your own heart by making the oldest mistake in the world, the love triangle.

Answer 8

You have to realize, 1st--this man is married, he must have some kind of problem if wanting to cheat and newly married, he is a cheater---he will cheat on you, and ....you are the one who will be fired. This man is not as great as you think, he clearly has a pride and ego problem..he thinks he can get what he wants...and probably has most of the time.

You have admitted your crush, but dont let his obvious interest suck you in---people do see him and what he's doing and....there are guys watching you----dont run away a decent, single guy messing with a man who will take you nowhere. Believe me, you are not the only one.

Run dont walk away from him---I know his touch sounds good right now for you---but, you will be sorry when he is finished with you.

Answer 9

I think some people here are really ignorant !
This is not some dare which you should go for.
As a lot of people said or implied, put yourself in his wife's shoes. I always say , Once a cheater, always a cheater. He may end up cheating on you. Marriage is something really special , even if there are already deeper problems in their relationship , you shouldn't be the one to ruin it.I think you should find a guy who really cares about people not someone who just wants some fun because in the long run, you will be happy with some one who REALLY cares for you not someone who messes around !

Answer 10

Why would you toy with the idea of being intimate with him, or as you put it "submit[ing] to him?" That sort of suggests you dont have your own mind and you're easily swayed, though you say you're college educated.

As far as you getting on the defense, you are in a marriage and divorce forum. Many women here are wives, and would be absolutely CRUSHED if their husbands disrespected them and their marriages the way this man is doing to his wife and marriage. You can only expect that women and men here would be disgusted, and angered as they can see themselves being the recipient of this blatant disregard for others emotions.

You have a crush on him, you claim to be intelligent, so do the smart thing. Dont flirt back, dont EVER "submit to him" and be weak enough to help him cheat on his wife. Its a load off your conscious, and it takes away that nasty title of wh*re you would acquire. This man is going to cheat, its obvious, but you dont have to let him do it with you. You dont have to lower your morals and standards for this....

Answer 11

"And i'm not a sl*t. Thank you. And I can have my own man, before you go there. I am college educated and haven't been intimate with a man in a few months. My choice entirely."

Your right, it is your choice. If you want to cheat on your husband ... that's YOUR choice, and you should take responsibility for your actions if your husband finds out. Like other answers have stated ... if you cheat with that man, don't blame it all on him, because it would be partly his fault and partly your fault.