How do you handle conflict in your marriage?

Answer 1

Wait until I've calmed down (I can get downright nasty when I'm angry) and then talk about it. Communication is the key!!

Answer 2

If it can wait we will talk about it later, but if it can't wait we will go into a quiet corner away from people and have an intense discussion. We don't fight or raise our voices or name calling. We look at the pros and cons of both sides. Decide which side is most advantageous to our goals and then go with that one. We do not fight over things that don't matter in the long run.

We haven't actually had an argument since last November. The kind where there is hurt feelings because there is too much compromise on one side than the other.

Answer 3

I've been married 30 years (to the same woman) and I have learned that men and women communicate differently. That was hard to grasp in the early years of my marriage. This is only my opinion, but I think women like to talk about a problem and a man's immediate response is to solve it. That is not fulfilling my wife's need to discuss it. Over the years, we have developed our own rules. We do not interrupt each other. We do not talk about serious matters after 9 pm at night. We recognize and celebrate our differences and our different approaches to problems. We never curse at each other. At this point in our marriage, my wife is experiencing some painful medical problems. When she's short with me, I ask her why. Lately, it's because she's in pain and not because of something I did. When she presents me with a problem, I now ask if she wants to talk about it or if she wants me to take it over. Also, when we're angry, we use a psychological technique known as "transference." We'll literally decide that we will tackle the issue at a particular time the next day when we've both cooled down. No matter how mad we may be, we don't sleep in separate beds. That just increases the isolation. Primarily, it's good communication and a clear understanding of exactly what the issue is that we're fighting about. We also say the Serenity Prayer: "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference." Then we decide if the problem is really one we can solve or if it is one we just have to accept. One final thing--never let your families get involved. When the families try to interfere, we stick together. My mother-in-law tried that on me 25 years ago. She tried to get me to side with her against my wife and she learned to never do that again. Above all, we always remember we're a team. A legal partnership founded on BOTH love and friendship.

Answer 4

The biggest mistake I have made? Not waiting until the situation has calmed down before talking---but he had some behaviors early in our marriage that were very distructive--anyone would be upset, but, you have to wait until you can talk it out.

My husband has realized that others (women) do not take his actions as nothing---and he is changing. When we are together and I feel (and see) an uncomfortable situation---I walk away, go outside, take some breaths and then come back. Get in the car and go for a drive if you have to.

I guess, bottom line, wait till situation has calmed, and then ask, "I would like to talk, would you like to talk this out now?".
Both have to put happiness in their marriage first, compromise---give and take. Marriage is not demanding your way--try to work toward a solution that both can live with.

Answer 5

My spouse and I go out once a month on a Monday or Tuesday night to a bar or lounge. We aren't drinkers, but it's quiet there and we can talk outside of the distractions of the house. We started this about 6 months ago, and it helps a lot. It's only for 1 1/2 to 2 hours so arguments can't escalate. Never more time than that. It's the only time all week that we can talk face to face and really put out our feelings. And some of it is good, not always bad topics. Good luck!

Answer 6

Conflict, it hurts not just you but your spouse. I had one last night, I bite my tongue and let him go for a walk, half hour later he called, and wanted to go and have a cup of coffee and talk. Everyone needs to calm down before words are shared, you never want to say the wrong thing and regret what you say. Since words hurt as well. But true love will get you threw.

Answer 7

We either talk about it later - or e-mail each other, and work it out this way. Thankfully, we don't have that many conflicts to begin with, I can't remember when was the last time we seriously argued; must have been before we got married.

Answer 8

I use to ignore him or curse or be an *** but I have since learned that that makes things worse....yea i grew up and got older. Never go to bed angry talk things out after you both have had a time out cool down period. Then you sit down and discuss how the situation could be different or whatever the problem. And remember even when your right sometimes if its not major let him be right.

Answer 9

It really depends on the situation. If it is based on opinion, and we don't agree, then we simply agree to disagree and keep it moving. If it is a situation that is or could effect our family or a decision needs to be made we talk about it....the key is "effective" communication. If either of us is upset, we wait until we are calm and can talk rationally. If we don't meet eye to eye on the situation we compromise.

Answer 10

Well a good healthy argument while working on the problem followed by some VERY healthy make up sex. Works like a charm. If it doesnt work for you then dont know what to tell you cuz thats how i roll.

Answer 11

be honest with each other. if your feelings are hurt and you've been disrespect always let your spouse know that. stop expecting for the problems to fix themselves. address the issue and take different avenues. Admit it, quit it, and forget it. sometimes, even when you've hurt you just gotta learn how to redefine yourself. work on yourself and if your spouse is willing then at some point there will be less if any conflicts. no one wants their emotions stepped on.