"Gone", comments welcome?

Question

Sadness is the song,
The doves sing at dawn.
Filling the sky,
With their lamenting cries.

The one true passion,
Never out of fashion,
Gives hope to the night,
That all will be right,

She may be gone,
But Lingers,
Caressing,
Caring,
Loving,
As the sun.

Answer 1

As a scientist I have learned NOT to analyze artistic expressions - if it talks to my soul or somehow moves me, then I take it as a gift. ... Thanks for the gift.

Answer 2

It's perfectly acceptable to combine rhyme with free verse. May I, however, make a suggestion as sky & cries don't rhyme?
Sadness is the song
The dove sings at dawn
Filling the sky
With lamenting cry

Unless of course, you feel the "plural" & then it would need to be rephrased? What do you think?

Edit: Beautiful answer from & I agree. Yet when comments are asked for, I give them; I'm never rude or a sycophant.

Answer 3

You should've stuck with the loose rhymes you used in the first stanze, as the rhymes of the second seem out of place, (though I do like "Gives hope to the night/That all will be right", but that just is my personal taste). I do like the rhythm, and the way that it breaks down in the final stanze. Yet I cannot help but think that I do not fully understand the meaning (unless you are referring to a departed lover).

Answer 4

I agree with P-43. You start out at high speed then bring it down. Let this one rip.

Answer 5

Very pretty.
All your poems remind me of songs.

Answer 6

Love it!

Answer 7

I like this one the best it has hope and light did not like the other ones :)))

Answer 8

you miss her? get her back then!!!

Answer 9

I'm still here.

Answer 10

beautifully sad....you will heal......