I'm 13. I'm in 8th grade at a TINY private school. All the girls here in 8th grade are skinny, blonde, and their hair is always straight and long and boring and they all wear A&F, AE, etc. All the girls have the same taste in music, and out of about 16 girls, 10 of them are cheerleaders.
I'm 5'4'' and I'm a little overweight, but I have curves. I have SHORT red hair, my style is punk gothicish and I'm into metal, and rock. I've already been labeled a lesbian and feminist. There is only one girl I've really connected with and I only have one class with her.
I have really low self-esteem. Being around all these girls that turn their nose up at me isn't helping. I feel like an alien. I don't know what to do!
Here's a couple pics of me, in case you're wondering.
http://i167.photobucket.com/albums/u139/caitlin21594/caitlin-batmitzvah.jpg
http://i167.photobucket.com/albums/u139/caitlin21594/100_0933.jpg
http://i167.photobucket.com/albums/u139/caitlin21594/caitlin-batmitzvah2.jpg
2007-08-31 06:40:22 · 13 answers · asked by Music. Is. Pride. 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
I'm basically asking for any of you to let me know if you've been in a similar situation, advice, etc.
2007-08-31 06:41:15 · update #1
Look, i think you live in ameirca where everyoe look liek that basicly. its boring and so fake. You are fine. dont get self estiem down. you might be going through a faze. i was called a lesbian when i was in year year 8 with i s i think 7th grade and it was by soem bitches in my school. now i am fine. i am really happy, and i am so vain ad have such high self asteem. In London there are plenty of differnt styles, all consided really beautiful because we are all our own person. And dont ever forget big is beautiful to so not matter you body shape you cn be beautiful . i am not saying youare fat. you have a killer body that those girls should be jelous of and you look like ou really love life . I know my boy friend doesnt liek stick thin girls and said he would harte it if i lost weight and get really annoyed when i dont eat a meal. i am skinny my self, but when i was 13 i put on weight. sometimes it happens with puberty. you look really great and like you loved life. Maybe make friends who dont go to your school. And rremeber most of the time a guy will actually make a better frind then a girl.
2007-08-31 06:53:31 · answer #1 · answered by Strong girl 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Don't worry about them. I was in the SAME situation a few years ago. I went to a small private school full of Barbie dolls. I was there from K-5 to my Senior year - I was an original which helped get a little respect, but... not enough to make me fit in. I was really insecure. Don't let it shape you. It looks like you have fun and don't try to hide. That's all you can do. Maybe one day someone will try to know more about you rather than judge you by your cover. I stuck through it and ended up where I wanted to be! I wasn't pushed around into making decisions - going to Auburn / Alabama / Troy (I'm from AL). I went where I wanted - 500 miles away! I dated a guy from out of state when I was a senior - people laughed and mocked that I didn't have a real boyfriend since they didn't see him. Even though they all saw him at my prom... I'm now married to him, own a business, just bought a nice home, and am expecting my first child. These people only SEEM to matter now, but once you are out in the real world- they're nobodies. When you step into your dorm freshman year or sit at your desk the first day of work no one is going to care what Amy So-And-So thought of you in highschool!
You may not see it now, but stick in there. DON'T LET THEM SEE IT GET YOU DOWN!! It only re-enforces what they do and say. Act like they don't exist. The fact that they talk about you - means they care. If they were really cool and felt comfortable where they are/ what they have - they would have to discuss you. As my mom would tell me, "At least they have a good subject!". Just wait till you look back at them and you later!
2007-08-31 07:05:45 · answer #2 · answered by mommy2b 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I am 16 years old now but in 8th and 9th grade man, I got some serious name calls. I was called a lesbain (uhh I definitely like MEN not WOMEN, but I am fine with lesbians I just am not one) and I had short hair at the time (and curly) and everyone just basically.. had jokes about me. I was a chubby girl, much bigger than you (btw you are totally cute) Kind of sucked but you have to realize anyone that makes fun of you or tries to make you feel bad is a class-a LOSER. Don't let them dictate how you feel about yourself, ever. You have to make any changes to yourself if you honestly feel they are necessary. If you want to become a healthier weight it should be because YOU want to be healthier, and live a longer life not you wanting a guy to check you out or anything like that. You sound like a smart girl, with an interesting personality, try finding others in your area that are similar to you, maybe at a concert or something. I went to a private school til 5th grade and it really wasn't my thing, so maybe you can ask your parents to start you up at a public high school when you start high school. They often have a lot more of a diversity among the students.
2007-08-31 08:39:53 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
aww your really pretty. I think that you should embrace who you are on the inside. All those barbie look alike girls are just that... they are the ones who cant go to the bathroom by themselves. Hey atleast you know how to go by yourself right? Be independent and be yourself. I know it rots now that the guys all drool over those girls who look and act the same but trust me in a few years guy will get tired of using the same girl over and over again, regardless of what her name is. Right now it all works for them becuase the guys need to keep up with each other. If you cant make friends with the girls make friends with the boys and then the girls will flock to you.
In highschool and middle school and even college i was always the odd one out the metal rock chick who took no crap from anyone and had a style of my own. I was never popular but my friends loved me and thats all that mattered
2007-08-31 06:58:01 · answer #4 · answered by marishka 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Been there, done that. I was a complete outcast for years. It didn't get better until high school actually, and now I have tons of friends.
Just ingore the clone-girls. I would get an iPod or mp3 player and lug it around with you with your music. That way, you can just glare at them until they go away. Thats what I do, because even though I go to a public school, I live in Preppy Pastor town. Grr...
2007-08-31 17:06:58 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hello, I think you look like a very sweet girl. I have a friend that looks almost exactly like you, she had a little self esteem problem too, but the truth is she snapped out of it once she realized she didn't have to impress anyone, she is proud of who she is now and you should too, my friend is actually dating a very good looking guy right now and they really love each other, so don't think you don't have what it takes to find a boyfriend who will love you for you and not what you look like, it really is possible, besides you have something they don't, great taste in music. You just keep your chin up and don't let things like this bother you. Guys like girls with curves these days so don't give up.
2007-08-31 07:07:37 · answer #6 · answered by robink71668 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
School is not your life, theres a whole world out there that you actually care to be involved in, where all these other girls live in la la land where cheer leading decides their value.
You sound like me in school as a kid.
Stick with it, you'll make friends. Dont hate them because theyre stupid and blond, be their friend, even if they dont want to be yours. Theyre pathetic and need someone who can be grounded and look the other way.
You'll survive. Just dont be so caught up in your own image and you cant adapt. You dont have to cheer and be a blond, but you can blend in enough to make it easier on them.
Dont compromise who you are, but dont be like them either. They couldnt change and adabpt if their lives depended on it.
2007-08-31 07:24:10 · answer #7 · answered by amosunknown 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You're beautiful. Be yourself. Be unique. Don't listen to those "robots" at your school. We're human beings...we're not all supposed to be exactly the same! Can you imagine how boring the world would be if we were? Believe me, those little "popular" cheerleaders won't get far in life if all they have to offer is their shallow selves worried about clothes, hair, fitting in, etc. Those unique people like yourself are the ones who truly make a difference in our world. Good luck.
2007-08-31 07:18:02 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Its okay to be different. Just don't go around advertising how different you are or people will get annoyed and you will make a target of yourself. And don't be so paranoid. Their sole mission in life is not to make you miserable. So don't start thinking that it is. Some will be mean to you but don't act like a total loser when they are. Call them out on it. Don't let one instance go by without letting the offender know that she wronged you. In doing so you are being calmly assertive and the other person will be reminded of what an *** she is. But lash out in anger or start having pity parties and you will just be letting life push you around.
2007-08-31 06:56:09 · answer #9 · answered by Nikolas M 5 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Ok, so basically you have personality, and the other girls are just clones.
Don't let what they think get to you. Everyone is insecure regardless if you're unique or a clone. Just be happy with who you are, not what others think of who you are.
As for their comments - ignore them. You know they aren't true and so do those that are closest to you
2007-08-31 06:52:31 · answer #10 · answered by uhd0rableo8 4 · 3⤊ 1⤋