what would you do in a situation where your mother don't like your boyfriend?

Question

you are going cazy over this guy but your mother and family members say no this relationship can't work. what would you do?

Answer 1

Talking always hepls...you have to explain to them that this is your life,not theirs and that its is good for your development to make your own choices and learn from your own mistake.But you have to show them somehow that you can be trusted because they are just afraid that you can make a silly mistake.....

Answer 2

Funny that you mention it... I'm turning 45, divorced, and my gf has just turned 51. When my mother, who is 83, knew about it and even though she doesn't even know her she said "yes, women at that age like younger men" (as if I were a baby, yesss) and "she should have a man of, say, 60, I don't know". I wasn't pleased, you know. But: a) Unfortunately my mother isn't the most intelligent person on earth and, as you can see, she doesn't know what she says or how it may affect others, which is simply selfish; b) I can't think of one time when she gave me good advice. Sad but true; c) She still likes my ex-wife, which is silly, since she was the one who left me (her son) and she isn't the best person in the world, subjectivity apart. So, what do I do? Go on with my life and try not to think about it too much. Life has enough problems as it is.

Answer 3

If you're not of age to make your own decisions, then you have no choice but to abide by what your mother says.

If you are of age, and live outside your parents house, you can do as you please. You don't have to take him around your family. Maybe some day your family will see that he treats you good and you are happy. Then they may give the poor guy a chance. This happens a lot with couples. Me and my husband for one. My parents had already made up their mind they didn't like him before they even met him. He and I dated for a year. My family saw such a glow about me, they simply had to meet this guy. From that day on.... he can do no wrong in my mom's eyes. She loves him almost as much as I do. Good luck sweetie.

Answer 4

If everyone in your family is against this relationship, they probably have a good reason. Listen to their concerns and really take a look at things that are wrong.

If it is just your mom, then you need to make a decision. Is this guy worth the strain it puts on your relationship with your mom? Are her concerns validated?

Often parents can be slightly over protective because they do not want anything bad to happen to you. They can also see things that you may be "blind" to because of love. Talk to her about her concerns and then explain to her why you care about him. If she knows he makes you happy she may take a different tone. SHe only wants you to be happy.

In the end only you know what will make you happy.

Answer 5

Family can give there opinion but it is up to you how you feel about the relationship and if you to are at a mature level of understanding what a serious commitment takes. I don't think outsiders ever really know the hearts of two people that care about each other.

Answer 6

Oftentimes, other people have a much better vantage point to assess the suitability of someone as a potential mate than ourselves. We are often too close to the situation, and our judgement can be clouded by many superfluous and unimportant things.

I'm not suggesting that you listen to your family exclusively, but determine the motivation behind their opinions....are they truly looking out for your best interests? If so, you want to take their opinions into account. Saying things like, "Well, they don't know him like I know him" says that you really aren't seeing the 'him' that they are seeing either...

Answer 7

I was in that situation. I even dated him secretly for 2 years. I look back and it was the hardest time for me- I wonder where I could have been today if it weren't for him. Listen to your mother. If she has points that involve anything that has to do with violence, jail, drugs, unemployment or deceit- she has a very valid point and you are just too involved to see it. Good luck to you, and remember- you don't get the full picture until you are out of it.

Answer 8

Depends on your age. If you are a teen and still living at home then you have to respect their wishes. Its hard but from experience, if the relationship is meant to be, it will be. Even twenty years later. If you are an adult, tell the family to but out, unless they have a legitimate reason for their doubts. Like hes a loser.

Answer 9

well when i met mmy husband, my mom and family didnt want him around at first my mom would allways say yo can do better, because my husband was on the heavy side and i never dated anyone like that before, so anyway i liked him his personality made me smile, he made me happy and he wanted the things i want i knew he was the one for me well 13-14 years latter, my family had grown to love him they take up for him over me actually, now my mom says i could have never got anyone that would be any better to me, they allways say hes there favorite and they love him to death, just wait if you know hes the one they will come around, and if hes a great guy theyll see him for what he is and love him just like family, i dont think many parents like there daughters boyfriend at first, very few if you really love him and are gona be wth him give it time they will come around, have a great weekend! hope i helped and made you feel a little better about your situation!

Answer 10

Since she isn't the only member of your family protesting, perhaps you need to really take a look at this guy. There must be something you aren't seeing that they are seeing. You know the saying "love is blind." It sounds as if he isn't employed and isn't showing much responsibility for his life.

Answer 11

I understand that you like this guy but your family who loves you more than anyone else in this world is telling you they don't. Why would your mother and family who loves you so much want to hurt you? They don't! They love you and they are telling you this to protect your heart, The best thing you can do is move on and find someone who will love you as much as your family.