I want her back but she is telling me that she still loves me and I was her first and only true love but she dont want to be with me we have kids together and I feel like we are setting a bad example to them. She is telling me she cares and dont want to hurt me and is sorry for hurting me but she dont want to do anything to stop it she wont try counseling or anything. she feels like I wasnt there for her I admit I wasnt there for her as much as I should have been but I cant change that now. Is it possible to change her mind about me or is it to late? I am wanting to try whatever it takes to get her back but I am just making things worse she says. so what am I to do I am so lost and scared I dont know what to do I truly still love her but she says she dont love me like that but she does love me she says. Why somany mixed signals? please someone help me I am scvared I will never find happiness without her. I am scared my kids wont have a happy life without me and her together?
2007-08-31 03:18:28 · 8 answers · asked by mising her 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
you are hitting your head against a brick wall here... she seems to have made her decision and doesn't want to try to continue the relationship, for whatever reasons.
i'm sure she loves you in her own way, but not the way she used to... we just don't toss our feelings into a garbage can.
give her time and space.. stop nagging her about this.... she probably won't come back around for a second try at the marriage, from what you say. but it seems she DOES want a decent relationship, even if you get divorced.
please, take care of YOU. your kids will be ok.. just remain a part of their lives... talk with them and let them know you and mom still love them just as much.. and also, please let them know it's not their fault... life happens.
you will have to take the time to adjust to life. be kind to yourself. get out, socialize. join a gym, play golf or whatever it is you enjoy.... fill up some of your idle time. it's good for the soul.
someday, you might meet someone new.. take time to heal and grieve... and if you need to, find someone to talk with.. even a therapist... hugs
2007-08-31 03:37:16 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm living that life now. The only thing I can do is ride it out or I try and build bridges. It kills me every day but I keep my head up and keep working at it. Little by little she seams to change some. Not much but just a little. I'm here to pick up and do the house work as she is out working now. The kids are old enough to look after themselves. One is out and on her own(for the most part)one more will finish school this school yr and our baby is in the 10th grade. I have always look forward to the day they would be out and on their own we could travel around and see them. I still look forward to that some day. I spent 20 yrs in the service so I feel I can deal with a lot of stuff, she is an RN going down some of the roads I did yrs ago. I have to let her learn them as hard as it is I do.
2007-08-31 10:41:02 · answer #2 · answered by Yogi 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The mixed signals makes sense really. She is watching you try and change, but doesn't know if the change will be for good. She needs time to see is you are going to go bad to your bad habits.
Just focus on what you want and let the past go. The future has a gift of working itself out.
2007-08-31 10:30:51 · answer #3 · answered by snack_daddy10 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Begging will not win the day! You want to really see if you have anything left? Are you finally at your wits end & willing to try anything? If so, read on... Calmly set her down & say - "I'm ready to let you go. I too want to move on & date others & see if there isn't someone out there for me who "fits me" We can settle all the rest of this later." Almost immediately, she will be replying with, "wait a minute, I don't really want to split up, let's talk about this."
I've heard this from a theropist, used it myself, and believe me - it works!
2007-08-31 10:46:28 · answer #4 · answered by T. 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All you can do is try and try hard. The choice is hers to make. SHOW her that you want to do these things, actions speak louder than words. See if she would go see someone, even if its not a marriage counselor, maybe a pastor or a trusted 3rd party. Good luck!
2007-08-31 10:27:25 · answer #5 · answered by Beatngu 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give her space, and move on with your life. I had a friend who's wife left him and went partying in town and had a boyfriend and fed him a similar line every time he begged her to come home. But the minute he got on with his life and the week he got a girlfriend she came crawling back.
2007-08-31 10:29:09 · answer #6 · answered by Zaferus 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Mixed signals? Same reason you cared so much, but (according to you) didn't show it. Now she says she cares, but she doesn't. She doesn't love you. Move on.
2007-08-31 10:28:28 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
let me just say that you cant always stay together for the kids. it'll be better for them if your not together and not fighting in front of them and confusing them.
2007-08-31 10:31:16 · answer #8 · answered by twol3londe4u 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋