please help me know what to do.?

Question

Have stayed with my boyfriend for 2 years now.we have a baby boy aged one year.currently my boyfriend doesnt work so i provide for the family.besides he is not so much in looking for a job or starting up a business.my mother inlaw has never come to visit us or his grandson just am left to wonder wether am welcome in her home though we have gone to visit her two times.am requesting you dear friends to help me know wether this will work out or else if to qiet and continue with my life alone.thanks in advance

Answer 1

It certainly isnt right that you are totally financially responsible for your child. It takes TWO to make one..............There is NO way, the father should be sitting around not working. His mother is the least of your problems. You are better off without him if he is no help or support. Take a stand and get your life together, dont sit around waiting for it to just fall into place. I guarantee you'll be much happier !!! :)

Answer 2

Not having a job is not a reason to leave someone, especially the father of your baby. If you have other issues, then I would consider it but are there other reasons he hasn't been looking for a job? Is he depressed? Maybe he should get some assistance for that if he is. Maybe you could leave the Sunday Classified Section for him? or even help him look for a job. Personally, I believe that when a baby is involved you need to try a little harder to make it work.

Answer 3

I wouldn't worry so much about grandma. Sure its horrible that she is ignoring her grandchild but thats just added stress on your relationship. She will come around and if she doesn't just know your baby has you. You boyfriend needs to go to work and thats final. He doesn't sound like much if he has a family to support and he isn't even making an effort. You are providing right now, so I would leave or make him leave. Give him an ultimatum either he goes to work or your not coming back. I really believe you should make him leave though. You sound responsible and strong. You will do better on your own.

Answer 4

if you're doing all the work to carry this relationship and you don't feel that he is doing his part you would probably begin to resent him.

and resentment kills a woman's ability to feel sexy or want sex with the man that she's taking care of

he'll resent you for not wanting sex with him

and he'll cheat on you

and you'll resent him more

get out while you can

just because you can do it all doesn't mean it's good for you and it can't last

find someone who has enough respect for himself and your relationship to do his fair share

you will need it

your son will learn how to treat women from your relationships

and he'll grow up to rely on you for everything, and become a loser to women in his adult life and he'll resent you for being a door mat to his father

and you'll get old fast

and you'll look back and wish you would have dumped him now, while you had the chance instead of waste ten years in an empty relationship

do I seem bitter?

Answer 5

Let your boyfriend know exactly how you feel. Tell him if he cant help you out with providing for the family and make changes that you are going to leave. Give him a little time if things dont change the way you want leave him. There is someoen out there that will be with you and provide for you!

Answer 6

My gut feeling about what you've said is this:
If he isn't contributing anything and you're taking care of everything, what on earth do you need him around for?

On top of that, your "mother-in-law" doesn't seem to have anything to do with the grandson or you, so why stay in that relationship.
Leave him and if he ever gets it together, then you can think about reconciliation.

Answer 7

You already know what you want dearie, you just want us to say it is okay for you to do what you want.
You are not 'equally yoked' with him. You are pulling harder than he is. Does he take care of things at home while you are providing? Do you have to come home to housework and correspondance (mail/bills) every day because he is ineffective?
No dear, it is not working out. You know it, and we know it.
Hopefully, you will get custody of the baby, as you would not want to pay him child support for the time he spends with the baby.
Good luck dearie.

Answer 8

don't harbor any negative or bad feelings about ur mother in law, well she might not agree with ur relationship or whatever her problem is but remember you have a son to deal with, you must forget all this negative feelings and live for your son.

Again do whatever you have to do i mean visit her if you have to call her if you have to, do all that is require of you. Well for you husband i think he wants to leave off ur income but i don't know much about him so can't really be definite for now but try and talk things over with him, i believe there might be a reason (if not a daft one lol).

always remember this about ur mother in law, "if Mohamed don't do to the mountain, the mountain would rather come to Mohamed"

Answer 9

Well! Do you love him? Would you feel lost without him? Is he a good father? If the answers to these 3 questions are "Yes" stick with him. The very fact that you're asking the questions suggests that you have doubts... Good luch whatever you decide...

Answer 10

Let him know how you feel, if he is reluctant to find work or sort out his mothers attitude towards you, then tell him your leaving! He'll have to get a job then, wont he? Have a good day hon.