Son's 1st dentist appt., they won't allow me to go back there with him?

Question

According to their "policy" no parents are allowed in the dentist's room with their child. I don't like this. My son is very shy and also has a speech issue. His appointment is today, and I want to insist that I be allowed to go back there with him. Is this unreasonable of me? What is the purpose of their policy?
I'm sorry, but I don't trust anyone with my children nowadays.
He's 4.

Answer 1

I would explain about him being shy and the speech issue and let them know that you both would feel more comfortable if you were allowed to be with him. If they refused then I would leave and find a new dentist. My child, my money paying for the service, My choice.

Answer 2

Irreasonable request or policy on their part. No four year old needs to go into any room with any adult if not accompanied by their parent. That is to say nothing of how frightening a dentist's exam room can appear, with all its mechanical arms poised above a chair they want him to lie back in. No, you need to cancel this appointment and find another dentist accepted by your insurance. If you go to this appointment, just tell them that if you don't go back there, then your child doesn't go back there. Their policy, I'm sure, is simply so they will have more control over the situation. They probably think parents behave worse than the children when they start doing their procedures. No matter what they are thinking, they are thinking of their own convenience, not the ease and comfort of their patients.

Answer 3

You have every right to insist that your with your child on his dentist visit, especially his first! I work for an orthodontists and parents are allowed to go back and be with their children. Most of the time though, after the child has been there a few times, parents wait in the waiting room, because the child is more comfortable and wont be upset if they go. But for a dentist to have that type of policy, it seems that they just don't want to be bothered by questions! I'd skip this appointment and find another dentist who is willing to let mom and dad come into the apt with their VERY YOUNG child. Good luck!

Answer 4

If you can not trust the dentist, you better go to college and get a medical degree quick.

It is unreasonable to insist that they change their policy to acomodate your fears or concerns. People - lighten up.. I am a parent, my daughter is 11.

Dentists are highly trained, and their assistants deal with children every day. The vast majority of speech issues are mouth related anyway. My daughter spoke with a lisp for years until we started her in orthodontics, now it is fine.

Just relax. Sure there are horror stories, but remember, the vast majority of doctors have spent more than 8 years in school, hundreds of thousands of dollars for the school, and a couple hundred thousand more to open a practice. They are not going to throw it away.

The purpose of the policy is to keep the child calm. Children pick up on their parents worries, and they react. Can you imagine trying to perform a dental exam on a screaming crying child - just let the pros do their job.

Answer 5

I had the same issue when my son was 3 and he first went to the dentist. I started going back with him and the nurse stopped me and said no. I laughed, I thought she was joking. But she said she wouldn't let me go back because it was distracting to the child. WHAT???!! I was really angry. He's my baby, after all, and like you I don't trust anyone with him. I also knew he needed me to be there because he was scared.
That appointment was just a cleaning, so I let him go thru with it. I paced the waiting room the whole time though, asking the front desk person to go see how he was every 5 minutes. That did make me feel better, sort of.

When the next appointment came due I called around and found lots of dentists who DO let parents back. I switched to one of them.

You're not being overbearing, just being a mom with good instincts. It's very reasonable. If you don't look out for your son, who will?

Answer 6

It doesn't matter why their policy is like that. I don't like it, and obviously you don't either. Most likely it's an insurance liability issue, but my first thought at being denied the opportunity to accompany my child in the dentist's exam room is "what are you going to be doing to children that you don't want me to see?" I would find another dentist. Even if everything is beyond reproach within the dental office, I still prefer a practice that has a sensitivity to the needs of its youngest patients. A four year old needs the comfort and security of a parent nearby while adjusting to all of the scary and unfamiliar aspects of a dental visit. A practice that doesn't understand that is probably not the best one for you.

Answer 7

I had the same problem with my child 1st visit to the dentist.That is That office policy. It's the rules they make up it's not the law.You inisit to go back with him or cancel your app. I insist and they let me go back the 1st time, but the second time they would not let me.so I left and found another dentist.Both dentist were children dentist i"m glad I left because I like this one so much better. and after a couple of visit your child get use to it and he won't want you to go back with him because he wants to be a BIG BOY :) good luck

Answer 8

I went thru the exact same thing with my son. I explained to the hygienist that I was uncomfortable with their 'no moms policy' especially since it was his first visit. To save all of us some stress it would be better if I were allowed to go back with them. They were very understanding and l was allowed in.
I DO NOT think you are being overprotective as someone else on here stated. You can not be too careful these days. Just watch the news or read a paper!!

Answer 9

If you don't trust them to be with your child then you need to find a new dentist that will allow you back there (though this might be hard because I think most dentists have this rule).
There are several reasons for this rule. One is those rooms are really really small and it hardly fits two people plus patent. Two is whether you want to hear this or not, kids do better when parents are not around when it comes to shyness. There are more reasons but if you want a whole list ASK THE DENTIST!

And you need to come to terms with your trust issue. What are you going to do when he starts school? He'll never learn to cope on his own if you are strangling him with the "apron strings". You are going to make him into a mama's boy and he'll never get over his shyness and you're going to make whatever woman he will one day marry miserable.

Answer 10

Find a Dentist who works with kids and has small exam rooms ... some dental offices don't wants parents back there because they have 8 or 10 kids in one big room ... with the new Hipa Rules they are afraid one parent may share medical info from another child.

So ... get a new dentist ..at least until your sons gets familiar with the drill ...so to speak !