hi there how was your relationship with your bf/hubby when you had a child?

Question

was it better or worse coz i love my boyfreind so much and i dont want our relationship to change in a bad way when i have my child like my mum and dads did

Answer 1

I agree with CamCam's Mom. Our relationship was a little "off" as well the first few months because a baby takes up a LOT of time. Just remember to try and not get upset or mad (the hormones are still flowing, I know it'll be hard) if he doesn't know what to do or hands the baby back off to you if he can't get him to stop crying. Especially if you watch the baby the most during the day/nights. Once you guys get into the routine of caring for baby it will be great!
Good luck!!

Congrats on having a beautiful baby- the pros far outweigh the cons, I PROMISE!! =)

Answer 2

Well we used to have heaps more sex.....!
But it has changed in other ways but not bad ones. It's just that you see each other in a different light and as a new mother you can sometimes become so absorbed with the baby that husbands tend to be neglected a little.
Its really important to talk about it before hand and have 'jobs' that he will do like bathe baby, dress, burp etc....when he can to give you a break and bond better.
They don't get to experience anything we do like babg kicks and labour, and then you tend to just take over and do everything for the baby after its born too and they can get pushed to the side a bit.
Make sure to spend un-baby time with each other to nuture your relationship too (no baby talk at all!!!) as you are a couple before your are parents! As much as it sounds cruel or anything, if you don't put your relationship above baby it will never work. If couples relationships work, family's/children will work from there.
Hope that makes sense!
Good luck and congrats on baby.

Answer 3

Depends on your mind set really, in my opinion.

You said "I don't want our relationship to change in a bad way when I have MY child", this is quite alarming, perhaps you were typing fast or not thinking, but if you want this relationship to stay strong, you are going to have to look at the situation as OUR child......

Get bf involved with EVERYTHING, give him choices, options, let him speak his mind. When baby is born, if dad puts on the diaper the wrong way, don't say anything. At least he is trying. Give help if he asks for it, or ask him if needs help.

I'm sure you'll both do just fine, but if you feel a baby might effect your relationship in a negative way, now is a great time to seak some couples therapy to just deal with a few surface issues that might be in the way to living happily ever after!

Answer 4

***COMMUNICATION***

and thats all you'll need.. My and my fiance def. had problems after my son's birth.. I had a terribly hard delivery, broken tailbone, hardest time breastfeeding.. We were living with his parents so i wanted to be "Superwoman" and show everyone i could do it by myself. No sleep. No time for myself. Got frustrated all the time at my fiance for not helping as much as he should have ( but didn't say a word ) He had to put up with my B*tchyness for 4 months before finally speaking up, by that point it was an avalanche rolling down a mountain...

if i could have done things differently, i would have tried to be more calm in every single situation..

i would have taken more time for myself and leaving the baby with his dad. ( i was scared something would go wrong )

I would have taken all the help that was offered.

I would have not forgotten that not only have i myself a baby, but a man who needed my attention just as much..


*So first months are rought for everyone, it's a huge change and you're not sure how to deal with most of the things that will come your way.. But will strong love and understanding it will pass so quickly, you'll forget to blink*


If you are expecting, i would set "rules" now.. If he's working, you get up with the baby during the week, but when he's off, have him help.. During the day, when he gets off work, you have a little time to yourself, etc.. Whatever you both agree on, so you know what to expect..

If you're breastfeeding, learn NOW.. decide where the baby is going to sleep, etc.. Read as much info as you can about taking care of a child in the 1st few months. So you know what to expect..

Good Luck to You =]

Answer 5

It's very stressful having children, there is a lot of work involved and it can put a big dent in a relationship if it isn't strong enough. Thankfully my husband and I have a very strong and happy marriage so for us it's business as usual but we do make sure we have "date night" a few times a month where we go out without the kids for some time alone. It's exactly what we need to keep us on track :)

Answer 6

It depends. If someone is going to work hard to fulfill the responsibilities of being a parent, then the child is going to get the majority of both parent's time for quite some time.

this means that the parent's relationship is going to be neglected during that time.

I know that I felt neglected and a bit jealous while our kids were young, and I was spending a lot of time with them. But when my wife wasn't spending time related to the child, she was trying to get rest, so there was almost never any time for just us. Even when I would take her out on a date, she spent nearly all the time talking about and thinking about the child.

On the other hand, there are a lot of selfish parents who pop out kids and then neglect them, abuse them, etc. because they think they are more important than the child...

I think that the parents are adults and should learn to do without attention, money, etc. - helps them mature a bit.

Answer 7

Our relationship is better now but it was really strained when she was first born. We were both really tired, I was really sore, we were still learning how to be parents but you get past all that. But you need to be a really strong couple in the first place to get through the hard parts. Not to mention him having to put up with a really moody pregnant gf for a while! Don't judge your relationship by your mum and dads, you're totally different people. But unless you are a really strong couple, don't have a baby. Wait till you are, or until you find someone you are really good with.

Answer 8

My husband and I had a wonderful relationship befor we had our daughter and it's still wonderful although we do get a bit grouchy with eachother due to lack of sleep which is understandable. Our daughter doesn't sleep at night. She sleeps all day and is awake ALL night but it's starting to get better, i have been trying to keep her awake during the day more which is helping alot. Last night she only woke up once. (she is a week old tomorrow)

Answer 9

Ours was worse for the first 6 months... Not that we were unhappy or divorcebound or anything like that but my attention was SOOOOO much on my son I couldnt focus at all on my husband. He was understanding but I could understand if he would have gotten angry. If I asked him to watch my son while taking a nap or get up with him, as soon as my son would cry I would get so angry at my husband for not "fixing" the problem as quickly as I would. After 6 months we went on dates together and everything has been awesome, now it's better, we are sharing our love for our son and not forgetting about eachother!

Answer 10

When we had our first It was very hard. And afterward we have decided to try and adopt the baby to our life style not vice versa. I didnt want to look like I am always tired and miserable. I lost 50lb within 4 weeks, we took her out to the kids friendly restaurants, and to the beach, and to our friends BBQs. It was fun, it was hard, but we made it. Together. And now expecting a baby #2.