HI I M Middle class single child of my old age parents who depends on me, I got married in 1998 my wifes nature is aggressive, short tampered and always try to take revenge, no doubt she is doing all her housewifes job but always tourture us if any mistack or misunderstanding take place she creat a scene at tat time she becomes "Durga" and continuasly mentally harass at home & Off. that i m faltu, no guts to stay seperate from my parents etc. i loves to my parents and do not want to leave them we have one small flat in same city and offered her but she wants me to stay with her. she always shouts at me and blames me and my family everytime, we have not received any thing from here family before and after marriage even here parents are staying far away from us she always remains in tention f her securities, I have One 9 yr old boy I offered her that both of us will stay near my parents on rental basis but she says No you buy your own far way What should I DO? How can i protect us?
2007-08-31
00:51:32
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18 answers
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asked by
montumanish
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in
Family & Relationships
➔ Marriage & Divorce
Take an apartment on lease and let your parents stay in it at sufficient distence that it does not annoy your wife. Visit your parents often and give them money and moral support without telling all the details to your wife. Dont talk about your parents with your wife since this seems to aggravate her.
Humour your wife, listen to her but do what you feel is right for your parents without involving your wife. It will be hard for you to find a new wife at this stage with a grown up child so try to manage your wife and your parents without upseting either of them.
2007-09-02 03:29:21
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answer #1
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answered by Pramod R 4
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Wait. Slow down. What is going on? I get it that wifey is a bully and not real great at negotiating or being a team player. Do you live with your parents now? Is your wife kicking you out? She doesn't want to live with your parents and wants you, her and the boy to move far away?
Listen. You have to do what is right. Do not argue. Do not be yelled at. Do not be threatened. You cannot not make her change her behavior but you can decide how much you want to put up with. Your wife treats everyone like crap because she can. Stop tolerating her abuse. If and when she yells, you tell her you will be glad to listen when she can act like an adult and speak in a normal tone. Then you leave the building and take the nine year old with you. He doesn't need this kind of crap in his life. It is not going to be her way or your way. You two are going to find a middle ground--a solution that works--a compromise. To start negotiations, you have to set some ground rules. No yelling, name calling, threats, bullying, intimidation, etc. If she has a solution that makes sense, then listen to it. Agree with her feelings, but do not be pushed around. No wife wants to share a house with her husband's parents. I understand your parents need your help. You are a married man and your first responsibility is to your wife and child. You need new ideas on how to help your parents that does not include living with them. Your wife is telling you she is very unhappy. Let her know you want her to be happy but don't know how to be both a good son and a good husband and make everyone happy. I am not sure I understand your question, but I do understand that you are worrying about everyone but you. Think quietly and think what you would do if you had no wife. Then think about what you want your life to be like. Think what is best for your son. Having an unhappy mother is not good for him. I am not sure what the answer is, but I am sure you can do better with this problem than you are. Step up and do the right thing.
2007-08-31 08:06:30
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answer #2
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answered by whereRyou? 6
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Just play a small trick. Run away from your house for 8 to 10 days. Don't get traced at all. In few days your wife will complaint to police about your missing. After 10 days come home. When the police will ask the reason for getting disappeared this way. Tell them you were fate-up with your family life & the harresment from your wife. Than just see the results that your wife will improve atleast 50 %
2007-08-31 09:56:55
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answer #3
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answered by rockylike007 3
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U need to act wisely and correctly, show the wife her place, but never tell her that u have not recieved anything before or after marriage, u need only love not materialistic things, and don't behave as a middle class person in love and marriage. Love has no class and covers the whole world and maybe the whole universe. A little pure love without any materialistic considerations would do a lot to pep up your sagging marriage.
2007-08-31 08:32:58
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answer #4
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answered by wizard of the East 7
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Sounds likeYou need to divorce her as your son is now in the line of fire. You need to get a restraining order from the courts after this so that she will think twice about coming near you and if she does you can have her arrested. Then take your son and go and live near your parents until you are on your feet this way your parents can help you with your son whilst you are working on building your life up again and can give you moral support.
2007-08-31 08:07:53
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answer #5
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answered by sioxpauxmom 2
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u decide marriage or parents but life after divorce is also not so easy so be careful these matters are very sensitive as these are based on someones life so we r nobody to advice u just by reading ur question so talk to her and tell her that if she is not going to change herself than u can take some hardsteps against marriage and u cant leave ur parents.and one thing more what is hte guarantee that she will be allright after parting from ur parents.so please try to solve this in a positive manner otherwise u have a choice.divorce
2007-08-31 10:10:36
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answer #6
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answered by rishi 3
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Lots of problems here.
The reading list below can act as a source for you. Most of the titles can be found in your local library. If they don't have them they can borrow them from another library.
Anger Management
http://www.amazon.com/Anger-Management/lm/R3IM8KIKMPVT03/ref=cm_lm_byauthor_title_full/002-3352010-2594421
Boundaries, Dependency Relationships, Ownership Relationships
http://www.amazon.com/Boundaries-Dependency-Relationships-Ownership-Relationships/lm/R2W4O3LZTGGCXN/ref=cm_lm_byauthor_title_full/002-3352010-2594421
Dealing with guilt
http://www.amazon.com/gp/richpub/listmania/fullview/R1AHKO2T7U2YW5/ref=cm_lm_pthnk_view/002-3352010-2594421?ie=UTF8&lm%5Fbb=
Dealing with blame
http://www.amazon.com/Dealing-with-blame/lm/RWP3Q81I7T37H/ref=cm_lm_byauthor_title_full/002-3352010-2594421
2007-08-31 08:52:06
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answer #7
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answered by Jack P 7
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A divorce would be appropriate. Tell her you'll do just that, if her parents don't cough up some of that ''dowry'' money.
2007-08-31 07:55:43
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answer #8
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answered by maggot_boy2004 2
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drink nicely 1 day and kick her left n right or find another nice woman and start a new life
2007-08-31 10:42:35
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answer #9
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answered by Anonymous
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dont worry yaar that is all common in life.
you can go and meet ur parents daily but dont tel tit one ur wife.
maintain some secrets that wil not hamper ur life.
good luck
2007-08-31 08:25:08
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answer #10
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answered by mjutoor 1
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