My husband and I have been married for quite some time. He likes to play games on the computer and apparently, with me. Although l love hearing him play his games (from the basement), I would like to see him in our marrital bed.
I have tried everything. I see the shadow of him in our room, and hear him with me, but physically he is not there. I miss him. I love him and I think he still loves me. But I can't seem to get him to come to bed.
We have an intercom system in which he'll talk to me, but that is all the communication we have.
I miss my husband and wanted to know 1. what can I do to get him to stop playing on the computer and come home to bed. 2. what are the chances he'll ever just STOP and committ to us?
2007-08-30 20:32:19 · 7 answers · asked by xxxcariooo 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Dear, I know it a hard time for you now. But the problem is curable. The best method to solve it - is conversation. I do believe you husband loves you much, but his computer addiction is just a psychological problem. Make a couple of nice cocktails in a fancy glasses, come to him with a smile in a quiet time, sit somewhere far from the computer (in the other room or outside under the green trees), take him by the hand and say how much you love him. Don't be aggressive, don't try to reproach him, be patient to listen to what he will be telling to you, be like the best friend to him. And simply tell him that you want to make him happy and want to be happy with him. Tell him he is the best guy in your life, always taking care of you and always attentive to you. Tell him the best about him (it's not difficult, because you really love him and all your words are true). Propose to him go outside, go surfing or climbing, or whatever you can do outdoors together. Try to make him interested in something outside of the house (home). Say, for example, that you recently visited your doctor because of the headache (tricky, but it's not cheating on him) and he prescribed you together with your spouse take a trip to some beautiful place, to make barbecue, to have a rest together. Ask him when he has time for you to help you with this "treatment". I'm sure he will pay attention to your words (especially, about the doctor) and he will understand you need him badly. But you should be very tender, no hysterics. He will see you don't demand anything, but just a little from him. Men don't like obligations and responsibilities. Arrange it so as you don't ask, but just suggesting. Try it. He loves, he will understand. And later, when you go outdoors together (I'm sure you will), remember him how happy you were in your childhood playing free and feeling joy... I wish you goof luck and patience! You'll do it, I'm sure! But don't be afraid of conversation.
2007-08-30 21:27:05 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
i had friends that almost lost their marriages over this. what has to happen is staright upfront communication. don't demand or put an ultimatium otherwise if he's like any normale male he'll revrt to being a caveman rather than an adult. let him know upfront how much you wnat and need him and taht you cnnot carry the marriage alone. that if there are issues that he s runningfrom into the fantasy world of games, then he needs to let you know so you two can work on those issues together or get counseling.
2007-08-31 03:47:50 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have a friend who has this problem although she's choosing to ignore it. I honestly don't know how she does it or you either. I'd tell him that you're going to leave him if he doesnt' start to give you more attention. Even if you know that you're not serious maybe he'll think you are and it will make him smarten up. I know I couldn't put up with it in my marriage. Good luck. Oh, I'd also get rid of your computer or make it off limits for games.
2007-08-31 03:39:31 · answer #3 · answered by abmainer 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Is he having on line affairs? Go down to the basement and take the cpu and hide it some where.
2007-08-31 03:45:52 · answer #4 · answered by Sweet Suzy 777! 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ask him to go to bed with you. If he does not do it, find a male friend with who you may do it just when your husband sees everything.
2007-08-31 05:27:37 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
just tell him straight away...tell him that you love him and that you miss him so much...tell him that you feel hurt that computer games take so much of his time and that you wish he would spend more time with you...im sure he will listen to you and try to limit his game playing...
2007-08-31 03:44:22 · answer #6 · answered by geisha 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
aaaa no chance in hell he's a computer junkie break oput the batteries baby
2007-08-31 03:45:07 · answer #7 · answered by seeking advice 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋