I married a man with a son who at the time of marriage was only a year old. I had 3 girls ranging in age 8 to 14 was much older then my husband by 9 years.
His real mother left him at the hospital when he was born because being a mother was not cool. Her loss my gain because my son has been the light of my life. His sister all loved him and spoiled him from almost the day he got married.
I can't even think how my life would be if I had never had this young man in my life.
Sad part now his father and I are getting a divorce he's in love with another woman his own age. he asked my son to stop calling me his mother MY SON REFUSED!
My son who is in IRAQ again is heart broken, I'm fearful that he might get hurt over that distraction because his father has asked him to stop writing me or even contact me.
My son a SEAL told his father that he was lucky he's not in his line of fire.
Any advise, I need to make sure he know I LOVE him, and still his MOTHER no matter what happens?
2007-08-30 18:40:51 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
My son will come home in OCTOBER he has already asked if he could stay with me until he get his own place.
I told him this was his home as well as mine and he can stay as long as he wants to!
I'm very proud of him as well because he been in IRAQ OR AFGHANISTAN for at least 4 years and now he want to go back to MED SCHOOL, 9/11 snet him over their almost from the start!
2007-08-30 18:57:38 · update #1
Bless you. Not all stepmothers care as much as you do. It is sad that your soon to be ex is asking his son to stop calling you Mother. But by refusing his owns fathers request it truly shows that he love and respects you. Since he is in Iraq he is of age and able to choose who he wants in his life. You raised him and that does qualify as a Mother. Continue keeping in contact with him because he will need it in Iraq. He already knows you love him and has already determined you are his Mother hands down. Due to the stress that your son is in in Iraq try to keep conversations light and happy. Show your love and let him know you are with him in your heart and mind. Tell him you are looking forward to seeing him soon. You are a good person and a good mother. God Bless you and I wish you the best of luck!!!
2007-08-30 18:51:52 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi Bella, You sound like a great Mom to your son and he is your son, and he knows that you are his mother and noting will ever change that. Tell him we are all proud of him for serving our country and for him to stay safe. I have full custody of my son, his mom left the state when he was just 5 and she has not seen him in the last 5 years my wife now has helped me raise my son for the last 5 years and he calls her mom, things are not always great in or relationship and my son is ADHD and it makes things even harder My wife has two little girls one that is 10 and 11 and my son is in between there ages (now 10). We also have a baby together she is about to turn 3. I know that if my wife and I divorced I would never say anything bad about his mother as he loves her and she loves him, we are a family first. You need to talk to your ex to be and tell him that we may not be together any more but I am the mother of your child and I have raised him from day on and you or anyone else can take that from me. A son needs his father and his mother in his life to make him a better person. It sounds like to me that the father wants to hurt you, for what resin I don't know, he is the one that is cheating. Your son has spoken his mind and were he stands and he told his father "you may have helped raise me but I am a man and I will make my choices from now on and I will have a relationship with my mom".
2007-08-31 02:31:19 · answer #2 · answered by Brian C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you need any advice on this one, it's already been answered by your actions time and time again. Otherwise he wouldn't be coming "home" to you.
There's a difference between telling someone you love them and showing them. It's perfectly evident you've done both.
Concerning his father and the issues that surround their relationship......
I have a 14 year old son who came into my life when he was 2. While the relationship has been tough off and on, being his dad is the most wonderful thing I've ever done. The relationship between his father and he is tenuous at best. Sporadic visits, usually when his father is trying to pull something.
Just because they share the same blood doesn't make him any less MY son. there's no law that says you HAVE to love, or even like your parent. Nor is there one that states you have to agree with what they do.
Your son knows who his mom is, that will never change. My advice is be the wonderful mom you've always been, and let him and his father sort out their relationship.
Love is love....it never changes.
GOOD JOB!
2007-08-31 02:16:31 · answer #3 · answered by wentfishing2 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Your soon to be ex should be ashamed of himself. He is fortunate to have found a woman who would love and take care of his son like she was his own. By no means should you guys sever your relationship because of his ignorance. Your son is now a grown man and he knows who his mother is. He knows who was there when he was sick, who comforted him when he was down. There is NOTHING like a mother's love. Nobody can take that away. Not even his father. Your son sounds reasonable, so everything should go well for you guys. God Bless
2007-08-31 03:49:17 · answer #4 · answered by Mrs. T 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
oh wow im so sorry for this happening. for starters i have 5 children (4-g 1-b) and 2 step children(boys) we dont get to see one of my step sons as he doesnt live close...the other i do child care for and for his older sister....granted my husband cheated as well and my step son i care for is the proof lol.....he calls me mom......and i am his mom lol......my husband wanted nothing to do with him because of the situation that resulted in his conception....well im a strong woman and i have 5 kids, i work outside the home as well my money is mine and my husbands is his......so if we seperated i could care for my children alone......but my kids need there dad as much as my step son who never asked for any of this..we have since worked on this issue an put it behind us...we all make sacrifices for our family....second your step son is old enough to decide for himself.....granted a divorce is always painfull for every one in the family...no matter the ages....you are his mother.....your the one there to have every memory of him growing up..and are part of the reason he is a man today...you just tell your son that he is a grown man who can make the choices he wants...weather those choices upset his father....thats what kids do and every one learns from it.......you tell your ex husband that your son is old enough to deside his life not your ex and that you love you son and you are his mom and no one can take that piece of your hearts away ever...........dont play his stupid lil games to try and hurt you......even if hes as cruel as they get in the end he might just loose everything and thats his own bad...
2007-08-31 02:08:47 · answer #5 · answered by evilella 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell him that no matter what, you will always be his mother. He obviously has made his choice.....if he is a SEAL....he has a mind of his own. His father can tell him anything he likes...your son will do as he pleases.
2007-08-31 01:51:58 · answer #6 · answered by Lisa W 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just be there for him no matter what. You already sound like a great mom to him so just keep up doing what you are doing. I'm sorry you are in this situation. You seem like a wonderful mom to him already. God Bless you and your son and I hope that you are able to work this out.
2007-08-31 01:48:23 · answer #7 · answered by 1hotmama 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Who say that his father has to know that he is writing you. That is between you and YOUR son. If YOUR son don't mind writ ting well that's all that matters. Tell YOUR son that he should still respect his father though, because that is a horrible thing to say to his father.
2007-08-31 02:31:59 · answer #8 · answered by queen B. 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your stepson is an adult and your father can't tell him who he can remain in contact with or not nor can he dictate what he calls you. I'm of the mind that your soon to be ex's girlfriend doesn't like the fact that your stepson holds you in high regard and that SHE has been pushing your ex to get you out of your stepson's life.
2007-08-31 01:51:23 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you have been very fortunate! i can honestly say, no, i dont fell the same. i have 3 step daughters, and have had nothing but problems...they are for the most part, grown now...we have made it, but it was a struggle. kudos to you and your family...happy to hear that
2007-08-31 06:54:30 · answer #10 · answered by poodle mom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋