i always told myself i didnt want a guy that was controlling...i think he is at times...and i love him
he hates when i go out with friends especially if it is some where there will be guys or could be guys and he isnt with me...not because he doesnt trust me but he thinks im so pretty that these guys would do anything to be with me....and trust me im not pretty...so there is no reason for him to think that
and not only is it the guys he has a problem with...but it is my friends too...and i have a problem with them too...they are extremely immature and are basically whores...especially my best friend...and he thinks that if i hang out with them i will be like that too...so if i am hanging out with them he is constantly on the phone with me
is he controlling or just trying to protect me?
2007-08-30 17:36:10 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I think he's just over-protective, which can be good in many ways yet bad cause you can't enjoy your night out.
2007-08-30 17:41:32 · answer #1 · answered by shai 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
100% controlling. I'm sorry. Sure, some people have insecurities that fade as they become more secure with knowing you and the relationship.
Seems as if he is not only not trusting you - but he's trying to break your friendship too. Anyone who has a problem with EVERYONE is pretending at the moment. They haven't let their true colors show through. Being in the moment - you tend not to notice tell tale signs - but your friends will - and his fear is they will tell you.
You need to pull back. Be careful, he may be fine but he also has the earmarks for being a stalker if you do try to break up. I'm not trying to freak you out- just prepare you. If you're prepared now, you'll be better prepared then, and hopefully have a clean break.
God Bless!
2007-08-31 00:43:06 · answer #2 · answered by Autumn S 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to get out of that relationship fast!! He will ALWAYS find something wrong with everyone in your life. It first starts with you being around other guys (Hon you will be around "other" guys your whole life) unless you stay prisoner in your home like I am sure he would like. Then, its starts with your friends...cutting them down, calling them whores etc... then it is your family....anyone you are close to!! Its a slow process until he has FULL control over you. He will tell you how to dress if he doesnt already. The problem is within him...HIS own insecurities. The emotional abuse is almost worse than if he was physically abusing you....and many times if he feels he doesnt have the level of control he needs over you he will get physical as well. You have control over your own mind and body girl...NEVER EVER give that control away to anyone else. Trust me, it will only get worse...been there, done that!!!You need to find a guy that loves and truly respects you and is totally secure with himself.Then, and only then, will he be able to love you for who you are and not someone you are not. Good luck Girl :)
2007-08-31 01:11:09 · answer #3 · answered by nikkigurl777 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It seems strange to me that you would describe your friends as "extremely immature and basically whores" so I have to ask is that really your description (if you do feel that way, why would they be your friends?) or his, being imposed on yours?
Be careful. While its flattering at first, to think someone cares so much that they want only the best for you, but it gets wearing when you come to realize that theirs is the ONLY opinion that counts, and woe betide anyone (including you) who disagrees with them.
And then they will keep raising the bar, making YOU work harder and harder to be "right" or "good enough" for them, and eventually you will either fail to meet their standards (because they keep changing them) or just come to realize that you will never be everything they want.
That can leave you feeling useless, unloved, without self esteem. Which in a way is their goal. They want to feel better about themselves by lowering you to less than their level.
Be very careful. Take care of yourself.
2007-08-31 00:53:53 · answer #4 · answered by Barb Outhere 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He might be trying to protect you to an extent but, if you don't have trust, you don't have any chance at a real relationship. Stop hanging out with whores, talk about your concerns and his and everything will be fine. Communication is the key to all relationships.
2007-08-31 00:41:28 · answer #5 · answered by don h 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I look at the other answers "just trying to protect you " and I wonder how anyone could have gotten through life not knowing a thing.. Listen... I have a good amount of years on me.. he's not only controlling but you should get out fast... BUT YOU KNOW THIS... and that is what always makes me wonder about questions on yahoo.
2007-08-31 00:45:19 · answer #6 · answered by mosaic 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I have friends that have had the same problem and i've learned that its a little of both. He seems to care for you and looking out for your best interest but also his best interest. You should talk to him and try to understand and respect his position. But also explain that its not right for him to keep you away from your friends and that if he can't trust you going out w/ them sometimes then he cant trust you doing normal things and thats not a great position to be in. try to compromise its the best way to handle the situation
2007-08-31 00:47:56 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
He is controlling. Had a boyfriend like that once... I lost my personal life. Just don't go into such a relationship... I almost lost my friends and time with my family just to listen to his demands. And at the end of everything, if one day he decides to leave you, you will be left with nothing.
In my case, I had to end the relationship cos I cannot stand being in such a relationship. Rethink your relationship now. What you can do now to save the relationship is to have a talk with him to see if he understands your position. If all else fails, you know whats best for you. :)
2007-08-31 00:51:09 · answer #8 · answered by hellogirl 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think he is a little controlling. I mean he doesnt want u to hang out with friends. But then again if u think ur friends are immature maybe you need new friends!
2007-08-31 00:47:26 · answer #9 · answered by Samantha R 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like he may be insecure and is trying to protect you. Does he stop you going or just express displeasure at you going if it is the former then he is controlling if it is the latter he is just male
2007-08-31 00:41:29 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋