I am a late 30s old spinster handmaid. Where I work I love to provide outstanding service to my customers. I've had women customers comment to me saying: "Oh, you'll get married soon, and you'll see that special someone." Or another one I worked for said out of the blue: "Don't worry, you'll find the right one." You won't be single for long."
I mean that is nice and all but they just say it out of the blue and for no reason. I can't stand it when people try to predict my future. Because I wouldn't predict someone elses. I would never say it to a unmarried girl. Obviously she is unmarried for a good reason. Your thoughts.......
2007-08-30 16:35:49 · 11 answers · asked by Born Valentine's Day 5 in Social Science ➔ Gender Studies
I don't encourage discussions about my personal life, but if anyone misses the signs, it depends on my mood how I respond to men and women who are concerned about my marital status. Since I'm divorced, sometimes I just say I've tried it, thank you. Other times I've said that I'm waiting for the right one. Now that I have a boyfriend, I say that I don't like institutions which totally confuses the majority of people, but it usually shuts them up.
Many of these people grew up when you were expected to get married, so you can't have a discussion with them, they can't imagine another way of life. Others I call the church-goers and they also can't think of anything else that men and women should do but get married and have children.
It's rude to make comments about someones personal life, even when you are friends with them, unless they ask for your input. But these people are so brainwashed they don't even see that they are being rude. lol
2007-08-31 10:04:06 · answer #1 · answered by edith clarke 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
A 30's spinster handmaid? LOL.
I have three close female friends, all married, and they do this all the time. They do it because marriage made them happier than they even expected, and they want me to be happy. I am pretty sure that's true, because when I confronted each of them on it (it did get a little tiring), they all said the same blessed thing: "You just deserve to be so happy and I can't wait to see it!"
The difference when a stranger does it, obviously, is that your personal life is NONE OF THEIR BUSINESS! That's like thinking you have the right to rub the belly of every pregnant woman you see. I would just change the subject and ask how their husbands are. They will be too happy to tell you all about his latest adventures.
2007-08-31 00:33:44 · answer #2 · answered by Anise 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Marriage (read here "long term relationship") is the best and worst life has to offer. So is having children. These married women say this because they know the happiness they have experienced from partnership and childraising, and feel sad that you might be missing out. I enjoyed my single years, but now I have a partner and daughter, I wouldn't go back. Like I said, it's the best AND worst, so there are times when I day dream about single life!
I daresay I'll get thumbs down for not telling you you are fine, but that wasn't your question.
2007-08-30 23:55:46 · answer #3 · answered by Rosie_0801 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Some women actually a lot of women would rather be married to almost any man than be single. Those are the women who say those kind of unsolicited comments to you. This is also their way of saying, Ha, I am married and your not so no matter how great you are at your job you go home alone.
Guess what, you are just fine. If you are waiting for the right guy more power to you. I did and I am now happier than I thought possible and I was happy single before him. Those kind of women needed a man to complete them and they don't have any right to say those things to you. And you don't deserve to waste your time or energy letting them hurt you or even absorbing what they say to you.
Keep on living your life and you will be just fine in what ever it is that you want.
2007-08-30 23:48:02 · answer #4 · answered by New England Babe 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You're right. I wouldn't like anyone telling me those things..mostly because they don't obviously know whether or not I am happy being single- they are just assuming I must be miserable...lol! I've been married, (long time, too- 15 years, to be exact) and now I'm single and have been for the last few years. I hear comments like the ones you hear all the time....(only it goes more like this: "you'd better find a man soon because at your age, and with as many kids as you have, it's going to be hard to find one")...lol! The thing is, (and what they don't understand) is that I'm really am HAPPY being on my own! Is that such a difficult concept for people to grasp? I'm not looking for a relationship or another marriage. If it happens, fine, but I don't expect it, don't really want it...I'm happy! I really hate it when other people try to project their own ideas and beliefs about what makes a person "happy" onto me. I have my own thoughts on that subject.
LOL!
2007-08-30 23:54:20 · answer #5 · answered by It's Ms. Fusion if you're Nasty! 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
The user above me is right. Your self-fullfilment and being true to yourself is much more important than finding a husband. Many of society's women are still grappling with the social pressure to get married. They felt forced to do so in order to feel normal and now they are trying to transfer it to you. There's also a bit of sower grapes that comes along with comments like that. I know a lot of married unhappy people who are jealous of successful single people. Attempting to belittle your accomplishments and marital status is often a way try and make themselves feel better.
2007-08-31 10:58:20 · answer #6 · answered by Standing Stone 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Don't ya just hate that? They act as if all single women need, or even want, to find the right guy. As if it's any of their business. Next time they ask why you're still single, just say, "I haven't met anyone worth my time." They'll understand that you're more interested in your personal fulfillment.
2007-08-31 09:09:55 · answer #7 · answered by Rio Madeira 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Marriage is not right for everyone I am married but that doesn't mean that you should be. You should do whatever makes you happy and don't worry about those ladies.
2007-08-31 00:41:37 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Married suck, especially when you're a man. Men shoulld just stay single IMO
2007-08-31 00:05:06 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
you go grrrrl you rule girlpower, boys are stupid, a woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle.
2007-08-31 07:28:36 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋