Hi all. Okay so I am about 12 weeks preg. I am only 18 and come from a very broken home. I have no family to help me, and b4 you call me a w h o r e, I was with my bf for 4 yrs and we just recently broke up bc we are both going to college. I have no way of contacting him. I finally have something good in my life by going to nyu. I actually have a future for myself and a baby would ruin everything i have worked so hard for. Adoption is not an option for me bc i would never want my child to have to go through what I went through in the diff homes I grew up in. So my options are abortion or keeping the baby. I have no idea what to do but I need to decide soon. I just want to hear what ppl think I could do. Keep in mind if i keep the baby i will have to drop out of school and that would hurt me sooo much u have no idea. so please help me!! thankyou.
2007-08-30 16:07:19 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
adoption is better than death. that baby has a beating heart. it is alive and that is murder. but if you can live with it do what you want. you will anyways. I had twins when i was 18 and i'm going to college. people do it all the time. it can be done
2007-08-30 16:13:23 · answer #1 · answered by kendra9_15_2005 2 · 3⤊ 3⤋
Seeing that you are already 12 weeks preg. you may not have a choice between abortion and keeping the baby. So if adoption is not an option than you will have to keep the baby. Before you say that you wouldn't give the baby up because of the way you grew up, let me tell you this. I am 22 and I was in 7 different foster homes and I want children but there is a chance I can't because of Endometriosis. If I can't biologically have children I would love to adopted. Just so you know you can play an active roll in finding the parents and get updates for as long as you want. It is called open adoption. Talk to a pregnancy councilor
2007-08-30 16:18:58 · answer #2 · answered by shorty2000always 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I'm not trying to be mean, but if you knew your not ready for a baby yet, you should have been way more careful. I know a lot of people thinks it's bad to get an adoption which really suites you right now since you just started college and all, but the united states is over populated anyways. I say go with what you feel like doing. You only have until I think 4 months to do an adoption so you gotta make your decision fast. To me adoption is bad but if your not going to be financially stable to support this baby that would be bad too. You could go give it up for adoption because there are a lot of people out there that can't have babies and adopt, but I do understand that you don't want the baby to go what you have been through. What I had told myself when I had gotten pregnant at the age of 21 is to keep it because I never know if this would be the last child I would ever get, or if this baby would be a genius. I was thinking about abortion, but that was what had changed my mind. Now I have 2 kids one 2 year old and one 5 month baby. I'm am blessed and happy that I had kept them.Well especially my first one. All I can say it's up to you to make that decision. I wish you the best of luck...
2007-08-30 16:27:44 · answer #3 · answered by shai 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
You must remember that it is God that invented abortion and uses it every day in the form of miscarriage to make the world a better place. Those who oppose abortion, oppose God.
If your abortion makes the world a better place, then you are doing the same thing that God himself would do. You will find that no where in the Bible does it say that abortion is wrong. Phrases such as "I knew you in the womb" mean nothing, because God aborts more than half of all pregnancies even though he knew them in the womb. And it is not murder. The Bible gives over 300 examples of murder, and not one even resembles abortion. The Bible never says "save the fetus" it does say to help the poor and needy. So if you make the world a better place that is what God wants.
It is important to note that each time a fetus is "saved" by a pro lifer, it causes the death of 12 loved and wanted children. So while they may think they are saving fetuses, they are killing children.
You know the right thing to do, now do it.
2007-09-03 11:52:25 · answer #4 · answered by Give me Liberty 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My heart goes out to you with a decision like this one. No matter what anyone tells you - it is your decision. People may try to tell you it is murder if you have an abortion or some other crazy thing that they feel is right, but the truth is, it may be right for them, but not necessarily for you.
If I were in your situation, I would speak to a counselor at NYU and see if there are programs to help you if you had the baby. They may ease your mind a bit and have resources you didn't know about. Please, do not listen to others in this situation because you need to feel right about the choice you make. You are the one who has to live your life - not someone who tells you what to do.
2007-08-30 16:19:43 · answer #5 · answered by clearbluesand 1 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I think you should opt for an open adoption. There are very loving, good couples out there who will pay for your medical care and help you through your pregnancy. You can even interview and choose the family you want your baby to go to.
If you think you can carry the baby and go through the pregnancy, I think you should. If you think you can't, then I guess abortion is your only option.
I really urge you to look into the open adoption. It sounds perfect for you! You've not had an easy life. Here's a chance to give one to your baby and better your life, too.
Good luck, Sweetie.
2007-08-30 17:40:50 · answer #6 · answered by anne_deezoff 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
In your situation with your background, I'd have the abortion. Tough choice, but the only way you are going to succeed without family support is to end the pregnancy. It's very hard for kids who have come out of the foster care system to succeed because they lack the support and help they need unless their last family was extremely supportive. At least with a college degree, you and your eventual family have a chance.
I do agree with the poster who suggested that you talk to the counselors at NYU to find out if you would be eligible for any programs that would enable you to stay in college. You don't have a lot of time to do that, so get that done ASAP. There are cuttoffs for abortions at clinics, but you can still get a regular D&C abortion until 16 weeks (it just might have to be done at a hospital).
2007-08-30 17:10:37 · answer #7 · answered by CarbonDated 7 · 1⤊ 2⤋
First of all, you are pretty much too late for a safe abortion. Who says you have to drop out of school if you stay pregnant? God has a plan for everyone and everything. I'm not calling anyone a w**** and i'm NOT preaching, but you are part of the reason that you are in this predicament. There is a reason that you got pregnant, a reason that you're in college and a reason that you had a crappy life growing up. I work with this man who is in san antonio right now at a fertility clinic with his wife. They want a child so badly. And you are willing to throw one away? I cannot make the decision for you, but I urge you to either give it up for adoption or keep it. Maybe you got pregnant now that you are in school so that you could learn a life lesson from this and give some couple out there somewhere what they've dreamed of for so long. Maybe you are not meant to be in school and you got pregnant because you and this guy are meant to be together. No one is going to be able to answer this for you. But since you don't have family to help you, your boyfriend is not around either, maybe the best answer is to give up for adoption. There are plenty of avenues you could try. You should also think about trying to find any women who've had abortions. I doubt too many of them recommend it. If you keep the baby, it will be born around the middle of March 2008. This means that anyone you know that has a kid around that time, you will always wonder what if? you'd kept yours. In a few years, you'll think of what it would've been like if they'd be starting school, going to soccer practice, dance lessons... Trust me, I had a miscarriage in 2003. It turned out to be a relief, because of the guy that I was with. But I can't help but think that they baby's birthday would've been December 2003. It would be 3 1/2 right now. I'd have to get up early to take the kid to preschool, and my life would be completely different. It's something that is going to haunt me for the rest of my life. Just think of how all those things would feel if you know that you were the reason that you're missing out on all that. Life is a terrible thing to throw away. If you are unable to handle it, let someone else do it for you and give your baby the best thing you could ever give it - LIFE. Good luck!
2007-08-30 17:06:37 · answer #8 · answered by Mindy, the hair fixer-upper 3 · 2⤊ 3⤋
I am in a loving committed marriage and have been trying to have a baby for years. I would say with out a doubt even in your situation keep the baby. Abortion is not a quick fix, it is a choice that will effect the rest of your life. You can always go to school after the baby is born. you have created a life, you need to own up to it.
I know you said adoption is not a option however if you were to find a couple in your area that are like my husband and I, you may want to explore the option of a open adoption.
I wish you and your baby the best.
2007-08-30 16:20:03 · answer #9 · answered by Madisons' Mama 4 · 3⤊ 3⤋
Abortion sounds like the best option for you. I know a lot of die hard pro-lifers will tell you anything is better, but ask how many of them have adopted all these children that are left going from foster home to foster home. You can speak from experience on that one. Not all children go through that, but in coming from that, you would always worry. If you do an abortion now, it is not quite a fetus yet, which is not really a life. You will resent the child if you have it for ruining your goals no matter how much you love it. Have the abortion and create a family when you can actually care for the child. And no matter what anyone tells you, things happen and that does not make you a whore. It simply makes you responsible for doing what is best for you and your child.
2007-08-30 16:17:59 · answer #10 · answered by dreamsoul620 1 · 4⤊ 4⤋
in all seriousness... what do a bunch of strangers' opinions have to do with anything. This is a completely personal choice for you to make. Having the baby would be difficult, bc many women get attatched to their babies and decide not to give it up for adoption.
It comes down to which solution you would leave you feeling better about yourself.
It's not the end of the world. Best of luck!
2007-08-30 16:18:00 · answer #11 · answered by odette82 2 · 4⤊ 0⤋